ENGLAND SLIGHTLY LESS APPALLING THAN AUSTRALIA - The Daily Mash
Delighted England captain, Andrew Strauss, said: "I always knew we would win the series as long as we matched Australia on a collapse-for-collapse basis.
And man of the match, Stuart Broad, added: "I'm really looking forward to coping with the comprehensively insane level of expectation you all now have. Nevertheless, I hope to continue my form as long as no-one sees me sneaking onto the pitch in the middle of the night with a garden fork and a bag of gravel."