Blonde Joke

ritwikgames

International Cricketer
Joined
Dec 17, 2001
Location
New Delhi
Online Cricket Games Owned
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
 

MistroBoomer97

Club Cricketer
Joined
Sep 23, 2009
Location
London
Online Cricket Games Owned
funny:D:).

MistroBoomer97 added 1 Minutes and 36 Seconds later...

10 Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!


9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"


8 A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"


7 A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".


6 Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

Second Blonde:

Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!


5 Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!


4 A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


3 A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


2 A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"


1 A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
 

Brook

Club Captain
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
UK
Online Cricket Games Owned
9 The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

I don't know how much you know about football but that's a true story about Jason McAteer
 

Princess Saffron

Top Hun
Ireland
ENG....
PlanetCricket Award Winner
Joined
Jul 10, 2018
Location
UK.
Profile Flag
England
I have a blonde joke...

A blonde woman boards a plane heading for Ibiza, she makes her way to first class and takes a seat..
'Excuse me mam', says an air hostess, 'you can't sit in first class as you have an economy class ticket', 'i'm staying here and i'm going to Ibiza to party', says the blonde, so the air hostess tells her colleague who then goes to have a word, 'excuse me honey, these seats are reserved for our first class passengers so please find your seat in economy' 'i'm staying here and i'm going to Ibiza to party' came the reply..
So the hostess went to tell the pilot, the co-pilot overheard and said 'let me speak to her as my wife is blonde so i know how to speak blonde', so he gets up and go to see the woman, when he reaches her he leans forward and whispers something in her ear, with this she gets up and smiles then goes to her seat in economy, the pilot and air hostess were amazed 'what did you whisper to her' they asked, 'well then' says the co-pilot 'i just told her that first class isn't going to Ibiza '!!
 

RichieBGM

Associate Captain
Joined
Jun 18, 2018
Location
Western Australia
Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
 

RichieBGM

Associate Captain
Joined
Jun 18, 2018
Location
Western Australia
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend." But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top