Draft: No Cricketers Allowed - Everyone can go ahead and finish their teams now!

[Na Maloom Afraad]

BOUNCER
RIGHT-ARM FAST; RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN

"Guys $10, Girls $5." - Bouncer

Sometimes you need a bit of pace and aggression to intimidate the batsmen, instead of getting them out. What could be a better source of that than a bouncer?
Like, a literal one. 'Bouncer' is more of a mantle that a person is anointed with in times of great need. It is no single man, but a traditional mythos or legend.

- If the Bouncer's gonna bowl bouncers, it's only appropriate for him to be a fast-bowler.

NA MALOOM AFRAAD's XI

06 - Doctor Manhattan
07 - Julius Caesar
08 - Bouncer
09 - Speedy Gonzales
10 - Timmy Turner
11 - The Great Wall of China​

 

[Aislabie]

I'm sorry to have let myself fall behind with this; there's been a bit going on in my real life that took my full attention in the last day or so

 

[Aislabie]

The Whomping Willow MANY-HANDED BATSMAN
Arguably the most violent character in the entire Wizarding World, when the Whomping Willow hits them (whether they be cricket balls, Hogwarts students or flying Ford Anglias) they stay hit. Also, once it's taken root at the crease it's incredibly hard to remove, not least owing to its tendency to smash the living crap out of everything it can reach. Comes in as a lower-order aggressor.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.

Jesus Christ (RHB, TEAS)
4.
5.
6.

The Whomping Willow (MHB)
7.

Mr Potato Head (RHB, RM)
8.

Chris Froome (RHB, LS)
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

 

[Aislabie]

Round One - Commences Wednesday 4th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Kim Jong-Il
@AliB - Roshan Singh Sodhi
@CerealKiller - John Cena
@DalePlaysSports - Batman
@Dutch - Inspector Gadget
@El Loco - Thor Odinson
@EyeInTheSky - Count Olaf
@Master Bates - Superman
@Na Maloom Afraad - Julius Caesar

Round Two - Commences Thursday 5th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - LEGO Batman
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Lionel Tribbey
@DalePlaysSports - Doctor Octopus
@Dutch - Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
@El Loco - Noo-Noo
@EyeInTheSky - Michael Scott
@Master Bates - Ben 10
@Na Maloom Afraad - Doctor Manhattan

Round Three - Commences Friday 6th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Automatic Wickie
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Sherlock Holmes
@DalePlaysSports - BatFast B2 Bowling Simulator
@Dutch - Large Hadron Collider
@El Loco - Argentinosaurus
@EyeInTheSky - Bob Marley
@Master Bates - The Flash
@Na Maloom Afraad - Speedy Gonzalez

Round Four - Commences Saturday 7th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Alastair Campbell
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Neo
@DalePlaysSports - @blockerdave
@Dutch - Houseman of the 21st Century
@El Loco - Running Man
@EyeInTheSky - The Joker
@Master Bates - Hugh Jackman
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Five - Commences Sunday 8th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Mr Potatohead
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Schroedinger's Bat
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Quantum Physics
@El Loco - Jay Cartwright
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates - Walter White
@Na Maloom Afraad - The Great Wall of China

Round Six - Commences Monday 9th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Chris Froome
@AliB
@CerealKiller - David Cameron
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Ronnie Kray
@El Loco - Matt Mii
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates - Manuel Neuer
@Na Maloom Afraad - Timmy Turner

Round Seven - Commences Tuesday 10th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Jesus Christ
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Bernie Sanders
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Reggie Kray
@El Loco - Badger
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad - A Bouncer

Round Eight - Commences Wednesday 11th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - The Whomping Willow
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Khadim Rizvi
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Maggie Thatcher
@El Loco - Donny Donowitz
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Nine - Commences Thursday 12th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Jason Belmonte
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Donna Summer
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Ten - Commences Friday 13th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eleven - Commences Saturday 14th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Jason Belmonte RIGHT HANDED BATSMAN, RIGHT-ARM and LEFT-ARM MEDIUM-FAST
If this side has been lacking one thing, it's an old-fashioned swing bowler to take the new ball alongside the Dear Leader. And in Jason Belmonte, almost indisputably the greatest bowler of all time, we have exactly that. Capable of delivering hugely controlled deliveries with both hands, his stock ball is a beautifully arcing away-swinger to the right-hander. He'll have opposition batsmen in his pocket.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.

Jesus Christ (RHB, TEAS)
4.
5.
6.

The Whomping Willow (MHB)
7.

Mr Potato Head (RHB, RM)
8.

Chris Froome (RHB, LS)
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.

Jason Belmonte (RHB, RMF/LMF)
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

 

[Aislabie]

Round One - Commences Wednesday 4th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Kim Jong-Il
@AliB - Roshan Singh Sodhi
@CerealKiller - John Cena
@DalePlaysSports - Batman
@Dutch - Inspector Gadget
@El Loco - Thor Odinson
@EyeInTheSky - Count Olaf
@Master Bates - Superman
@Na Maloom Afraad - Julius Caesar

Round Two - Commences Thursday 5th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - LEGO Batman
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Lionel Tribbey
@DalePlaysSports - Doctor Octopus
@Dutch - Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
@El Loco - Noo-Noo
@EyeInTheSky - Michael Scott
@Master Bates - Ben 10
@Na Maloom Afraad - Doctor Manhattan

Round Three - Commences Friday 6th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Automatic Wickie
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Sherlock Holmes
@DalePlaysSports - BatFast B2 Bowling Simulator
@Dutch - Large Hadron Collider
@El Loco - Argentinosaurus
@EyeInTheSky - Bob Marley
@Master Bates - The Flash
@Na Maloom Afraad - Speedy Gonzalez

Round Four - Commences Saturday 7th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Alastair Campbell
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Neo
@DalePlaysSports - @blockerdave
@Dutch - Houseman of the 21st Century
@El Loco - Running Man
@EyeInTheSky - The Joker
@Master Bates - Hugh Jackman
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Five - Commences Sunday 8th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Mr Potatohead
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Schroedinger's Bat
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Quantum Physics
@El Loco - Jay Cartwright
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates - Walter White
@Na Maloom Afraad - The Great Wall of China

Round Six - Commences Monday 9th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Chris Froome
@AliB
@CerealKiller - David Cameron
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Ronnie Kray
@El Loco - Matt Mii
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates - Manuel Neuer
@Na Maloom Afraad - Timmy Turner

Round Seven - Commences Tuesday 10th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Jesus Christ
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Bernie Sanders
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Reggie Kray
@El Loco - Badger
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad - A Bouncer

Round Eight - Commences Wednesday 11th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - The Whomping Willow
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Khadim Rizvi
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Maggie Thatcher
@El Loco - Donny Donowitz
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Nine - Commences Thursday 12th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Jason Belmonte
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Donna Summer
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Ten - Commences Friday 13th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - S. Tandelki
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eleven - Commences Saturday 14th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

S. Tandelki RIGHT HANDED BATSMAN, LEG-SPIN BOWLER
Nobody knows who is or where he came from. Cricinfo shows no sign of the enigmatic Tandelki, but in 2005 he was one of the world's very best batsmen, second only to Brian Lara according to the unimpeachable historical source, Brian Lara International Cricket 2005. He was equally skilled at both attacking and defensive shots, and also had the skills to hit over the field if needed. He will bat at his preferred number four position, and may occasionally bowl some of his filthy leg-breaks and googlies.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.

Jesus Christ (RHB, TEAS)
4.

S. Tandelki (RHB, LS)
5.
6.

The Whomping Willow (MHB)
7.

Mr Potato Head (RHB, RM)
8.

Chris Froome (RHB, LS)
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.

Jason Belmonte (RHB, RMF/LMF)
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

 

[Dutch]

Batting at five and an absolute all rounder is Caitlyn Jenner: he/she/they have an absolute all round knowledge of what it means to be batting at different positions and he/she/they have come back strongly from the ball tampering accusations that surrounded a part of their career.


Caitlyn looking particularly fine on her/his/their way to shovel coal at the local powerstation


Dutch 's XI: Sergeant Majors Lonely Farts Club Band

1. Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
2. Margaret Thatcher
3. Donna Summer
4. Ronnie and Reggie Kray (What you lookin' at scumhead?)
5. Caitlyn Jenner
6. Quantum Physics
7. Inspector Gadget
8. Houseman Of The 21'st Century
9.
10.
11. Large Hadron Collider

 

[Alexei.]

Where's Gandalf? :/

 

[Aislabie]

Round One - Commences Wednesday 4th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Kim Jong-Il
@AliB - Roshan Singh Sodhi
@CerealKiller - John Cena
@DalePlaysSports - Batman
@Dutch - Inspector Gadget
@El Loco - Thor Odinson
@EyeInTheSky - Count Olaf
@Master Bates - Superman
@Na Maloom Afraad - Julius Caesar

Round Two - Commences Thursday 5th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - LEGO Batman
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Lionel Tribbey
@DalePlaysSports - Doctor Octopus
@Dutch - Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
@El Loco - Noo-Noo
@EyeInTheSky - Michael Scott
@Master Bates - Ben 10
@Na Maloom Afraad - Doctor Manhattan

Round Three - Commences Friday 6th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Automatic Wickie
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Sherlock Holmes
@DalePlaysSports - BatFast B2 Bowling Simulator
@Dutch - Large Hadron Collider
@El Loco - Argentinosaurus
@EyeInTheSky - Bob Marley
@Master Bates - The Flash
@Na Maloom Afraad - Speedy Gonzalez

Round Four - Commences Saturday 7th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Alastair Campbell
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Neo
@DalePlaysSports - @blockerdave
@Dutch - Houseman of the 21st Century
@El Loco - Running Man
@EyeInTheSky - The Joker
@Master Bates - Hugh Jackman
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Five - Commences Sunday 8th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Mr Potatohead
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Schroedinger's Bat
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Quantum Physics
@El Loco - Jay Cartwright
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates - Walter White
@Na Maloom Afraad - The Great Wall of China

Round Six - Commences Monday 9th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Chris Froome
@AliB
@CerealKiller - David Cameron
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Ronnie Kray
@El Loco - Matt Mii
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates - Manuel Neuer
@Na Maloom Afraad - Timmy Turner

Round Seven - Commences Tuesday 10th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Jesus Christ
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Bernie Sanders
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Reggie Kray
@El Loco - Badger
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad - A Bouncer

Round Eight - Commences Wednesday 11th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - The Whomping Willow
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Khadim Rizvi
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Maggie Thatcher
@El Loco - Donny Donowitz
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Nine - Commences Thursday 12th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Jason Belmonte
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Donna Summer
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Ten - Commences Friday 13th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - S. Tandelki
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch - Caitlyn Jenner
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eleven - Commences Saturday 14th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Steeler
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Steeler LEFT HANDED BATSMAN
If there was one thing our team lacked, it was a proper out-and-out crowd pleaser. Fortunately, anyone who's ever been to a Blast Night at Wantage Road will know that cricket's absolute greatest crowd-pleaser is of course Steeler. He's gone face-to-face with the opposition's fastest bowlers wearing nothing but a Northants cap. He's shown off his footwork by stepping straight into the cheerleaders' dances and not putting a single step wrong. The ultimate alpha male. The greatest of all the swashbucklers. Years ahead of his time by making mums and kids feel welcome at the cricket. Steeler simply has it all.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.

Jesus Christ (RHB, TEAS)
4.

S. Tandelki (RHB, LS)
5.

Steeler (LHB)
6.

The Whomping Willow (MHB)
7.

Mr Potato Head (RHB, RM)
8.

Chris Froome (RHB, LS)
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.

Jason Belmonte (RHB, RMF/LMF)
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

 

[Master Bates]

Fidget Spinner​

I needed a proper spinner in my team and who better for the role than the Fidget Spinner.

He/She/They is a toy that consists of a ball bearing in the center of a multi-lobed (typically two or three) flat structure made from metal or plastic designed to spin along its axis with little effort. Fidget spinners became popular toys in 2017 which was really bad. The toy has been promoted as helping people who have trouble focusing or those who may need fidget to relieve nervous energy, anxiety, or psychological stress.

They are perfect to motivate the team or help an out of form player recovering. They are available everywhere but their origin is from the US.

The thing is they don't have left or right hand and they can turn both the ways (ambidextrous) so I have named as 4 different types of spin bowling.

Bottle Opener​

You want someone to open the innings? Gotcha!

Mostly used for opening bottles, they come in variety of sizes, shapes and stuff. They acclimatise to any sort of conditions as they come in lots of varieties.

There are several distinct designs of such bottle openers. Wall mounted openers are typically found behind bars in pubs, whilst hand-tool bottle openers tend to be found and used in domestic environments.

If our coach was Ravi Shastri, then he/she/they will be their best buddy/player.

01. Superman - Right-arm fast
02. Bottle Opener
03. Hugh Jackman/Wolverine
04. Ben 10 - Any type of bowling
05.
06.
07. The Flash (RF)
08.
09. Fidget Spinner (RLS / ROS / LOS / LLS)
10. (GER) Manuel Neuer
11. Walter White/Heisenberg (RM)

 

[Dutch]

Dutch 's XI: Sergeant Majors Lonely Farts Club Band

Bob The Builder gets things done and Dolly The Sheep is such a trickster with the ball, ramming her advantage home whilst pulling the wool over your eyes, she will utterly fleece you!

There we have it folks: I am sure all would agree that this is the most inclusive team in anything ever:

1. Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
2. Margaret Thatcher
3. Donna Summer
4. Ronnie and Reggie Kray (What you lookin' at scumhead?)
5. Caitlyn Jenner
6. Quantum Physics
7. Inspector Gadget
8. Houseman Of The 21'st Century
9. Bob The Builder
10. Dolly The Sheep
11. Large Hadron Collider

 

[Ed Smith]

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
LEGO Joker
Usain Bolt
Gandalf the White
Chris Jericho

Write ups later

1. Batman
2.Darth Vader
3. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
4. Gandalf the White
5. Chris Jericho
6. Doctor Octopus
7. @blockerdave
8. Usain Bolt
9. Oscar Pistorius
10. LEGO Joker
11. BatFast B2s bowling simulator

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

BABE RUTH
LEFT-HANDED BATSMAN

"Let me show you how it's done... Loser!" - Babe Ruth

If I were to pick just one player from any other sport to play cricket, it would be Babe Ruth. Arguably the single greatest hitter of a ball in the history of sports.
Babe Ruth in his prime could absolutely demolish any bowler. Not only will he be vital as a player, but he will also bring a part of the American culture to the team.

- I think it's safe to assume that The Sultan of Swat will be perfect for the oh-so important number three slot.

NA MALOOM AFRAAD's XI

03 - Babe Ruth
06 - Doctor Manhattan
07 - Julius Caesar
08 - Bouncer
09 - Speedy Gonzales
10 - Timmy Turner
11 - The Great Wall of China​

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER
RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN

"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." - J. Robert Oppenheimer

The man behind the bomb will Oppen the batting for us. J. Robert Oppenheimer will disintegrate the opposition's bowling line like he's splitting 2 and 3 from 5.
A truly explosive opener that will provide the team with a stable start, and get them going in a fiery way. A volatile batsman despite having a patient temperament.

- The Father of the Bomb will open the batting for us.

NA MALOOM AFRAAD's XI

01 - J. Robert Oppenheimer
03 - Babe Ruth
06 - Doctor Manhattan
07 - Julius Caesar
08 - Bouncer
09 - Speedy Gonzales
10 - Timmy Turner
11 - The Great Wall of China​

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

MAHATMA GANDHI
RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN

"Too many to choose from." - Na Maloom Afraad on Gandhi's quotes

A perfect candidate for the number five slot. Gandhi can slowly but perseveringly work the dull job of stabilising the innings should their be any collapses.
His incredible resilience makes him the perfect player to move things along when the team is down. Alongside The Great Wall, he can rejuvenate his team entirely.

- Gandhi will play at the number five slot. Being the Misbah-Ul-Haq of this team.

NA MALOOM AFRAAD's XI

01 - J. Robert Oppenheimer
02 -
03 - Babe Ruth
04 -
05 - Mahatma Gandhi
06 - Doctor Manhattan
07 - Julius Caesar
08 - Bouncer
09 - Speedy Gonzales
10 - Timmy Turner
11 - The Great Wall of China​

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

VC THE SLOGGER
RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN; RIGHT-ARM FAST

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." - VC the slogger quoting Fight Club

Taking a page out of @DalePlaysSports' book, I've decided to choose a member of the forums in my team for the role of a slogger. VC the slogger to be precise.
Ain't nobody better than him to come in later in the innings and dispatch the opponent's bowlers, completely obliterating them with sheer force and brutality.

The inclusion of a player of such calibre has shaken the team's composition, forcing one of the previous picks' batting order to be changed, for the better though.
VC the slogger will come in to bat at the sixth slot in the lineup, making Dr. Manhattan move up in the order to the number four position. VC will be a pinch-hitter.

Not to be confused with @Pinch hitter, of course. VC the slogger will play the same role that Dre Russ does for many teams, 'cause just like him, VC can bowl fast.
VC the slogger's proper deliveries will make him the fifth bowler in the lineup, providing the team with another devastating weapon in the bowling department.

- VC will play the role of a pinch-hitter at number six. He will also be a proper bowler.

NA MALOOM AFRAAD's XI

01 - J. Robert Oppenheimer
02 -
03 - Babe Ruth
04 - Doctor Manhattan
05 - Mahatma Gandhi
06 - VC the slogger
07 - Julius Caesar
08 - Bouncer
09 - Speedy Gonzales
10 - Timmy Turner
11 - The Great Wall of China​