The Life Of A Would've been Footballer (FM 07 [7.0.2])

Some off field stuff is based on my life & some is entirely fictional
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It's Christmas 2007 and I've been in Spain a year and a half. It's not too bad out here, first in Santandar and then here in Valencia with Lavente.

But at times like Christmas, I still can't help but think about my past, what could've been the great life for me.

8 years ago, I was in a great youth team at the 2nd love of my life, Luton Town FC, we were ready to kick on to revive the failing club. Emmerson Boyce, Matty Taylor, Matty Spring, Michael McIndoe, Tresor Kandol & myself Steve Moore, the Welsh-Lutonian central midfielder who, along with my best mate, star striker Johnny 'Bravo' Morgan were meant to be the best of the bunch.

We used to rip other youth sides apart & as Joe Kinnear came in with us relegated to the basement and started dipfeeding the youngsters in..

2000-2001 was going to be our boys year. Taylor, Boyce & Spring were regulars & the rest of us were going to push through and take us back up straight away.

That's where it all went wrong:

Borehamwood away, pre-season friendly & I was playing well & I'd set up 3 of our 5 goals & then this idiot amateur flies in at shorts height and almost rips my right leg off.

I now have a permanent weakness (akin to hemiplegia) in my right-side (I'd fallen on my arm as well). My football career was over. I was never going to play for Luton Town

At this time, I was trying to sort out THE love of my life. Since the age of 8, (11 years), I'd been going out with Laura Dempsey. Albeit it in private since she left with her family to live in Cambridge. This is due to the fact that my parents didn't like her.

I was trying to work out how to finally tell my parents that not only had I still been going out with her for the last 5 years, I was engaged to her.

Then, 2 weeks after THAT game against Borehamwood, just after the doctor's report came through with the awful news. I got a phone call, it was Laura's parents. She had been killed by a London bus.

In 2 weeks, everything I had ever loved had gone & I had lost everything.

It was the start of a slippery slope.
I rang up Bravo & McIndoe, who both liked a few too many, & I spent the rest of 2000 & the whole of 2001 at the bottom of a glass.

By April 2002, I was living in a back room of my parents house, spending my days in 'the Favorite' (my local) & Ladbrokes. Macca had been dumped by Luton due to his Alcoholism and had moved up north, whilst Bravo had cleaned up his act...well, by his standards and was working as a coach with Palace & Charlton.

He was why I got a phone call from the Luton God that is Mick Harford telling me to come down to Kenny Road & help John Moore with the New Youth intake that included some really good talents in Kevin Foley, Keith Keane, Curtis Davies, Leon Barnett & Dean Brill.

That moment saved the rest of my life from drunken depression.
From there I was albe to train the young lads, find I really enjoyed it and take my coaching badges & do some work along with Bravo at Palace too.

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Then, in 2005, during an evening out with Bravo, Brian Stein, Harford & Mike Newell, BTCC team owner and driver Dave Pinkney came over, mainly to get Harford, Stein & Newell's autograph's and the two of us became good friends.

He's how I ended up in Spain.

Apparently Pinkney is mates with some Spanish Motordriver who's benefactor was a faceless on the Racing Santander board.

So, in June 2006, I got a phone call out of the blue from some wierd Spaniard telling me to fly out there straight away, we've heard things about you and we want to give you the Racing Santander job. No interview, no meeting, no nothing!

For all I know, it was probably one of Bravo's jokes. But, I was always unbelievably gulable! Besides, if it was I can always stay with my grandad in Campasol for a week.

Worked though, apparently the old boss had walked out on them, left them in a right state! No money for anyone good neither. Got some right stick from the fans for employing some wierd unknown 25 year old!

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"Keep us up & it'll be a absolute miracle!" they said.
Or rather, their interpreter did.

Had no money to spend neither. Gave it a good go mind. Took it to last day and we needed to get more points than Levante did.

We did our job, brilliant we were, 3-0 up after an hour, Claudio Lopez & Nikola Zigic were immense. Lopez reminds me of Bravo in so many ways so skillful & above it all, floats around the turf as if on air, doing things I could only ever dream about.

After 77 minutes, things got even better, Villareal equalised at Levante. COME ON!!!!!! Final whistle goes and we're staying up! Except no, we aren't, Silva scores for Levante in injury time & we're down.

Still, the board were pleased with me & they said so on a regular basis, to my face. Well, I thought so anyway.

Things were going on behind scenes though, that faceless guy who was instrumental in my appointment was being forced of the board. They didn't want a Brit in charge & wanted me out.

By June they'd got him off the board & a week later a note had been put under my door in pigeon English.

"Get your English backside out of are club...you've been sack.
Go Home,
Racing Ultras Chairman & new board member Refael Gonzalaz"

Poor Grammar, but I got the message non the less.

I tended my resignation the next morning.

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I did think about going back to Luton straight away and get lashed with Bravo, but, in a wierd turn of events which I couldn't work out why at the time, despite keeping them up Levante had sacked their boss. So I applied, went to my Grandad's for a week & then got a call from Levante for an interview that went a little like this:

Pedro Villarroel: Right, we think you worked miracles at Santander, we want you to have the job. £7,500k p/w is what the wages'll convert to in Pounds. Are you in or out.
ME: One thing, why'd you sack the previous incumbant
Pedro Villarroel: Right I was going to tell you about this. He asked for 3 times our wage budget last season & double the Transfer Budget and promised up Europe. We are now in deep financial trouble. I want you to ship out as much as possible with no Transfer funds...do you still want in?
ME: I'm a gluten for punishment, Yes I'm in

So, that's where I am now!

Seems interesting!

Which bits are real and which are fake?

Right, I was not injured as it suggests, I have hemiplegia myself from birth, my mate actually had an injury at a Watford trial.

All things, involving the names of the players in that youth team are true, apart from yours truly.

I am 7 years younger & I meet Laura at age six, but she did die in 2001 of the same thing. All things about Laura are true.

Sorry to hear that mate. Good start to the story.

That was a heavy new years eve! I have one hell of a headache!

I invited Bravo over to join me and Mick, who's now my assistant at Levante & after after we'd chewed over the bones of a dour, boring 1-0 home defeat to Getafe where although they scored there goal on the counter attack we created absolutely nothing all game.

When then said, 'were 15th & 4 points clear of relegation & it's New Year's Eve so let's get hammered'...So we did & I'm feeling the affects like hell this morning.

Anyway, considering I had to ship out all our money making players, your probably wondering who I actually have left. So I'll give you the run down.

Ivan Cuellar GK- 23, Free Transfer from Athletico Madrid B. Has 1 Spanish U-21 Cap and I think he was harshly treated out there, although, to be fair, I don't know a lot about Keepers! He's done a decent job for us so far though & at 23 has time to improve.
Josu GK- 22, The old boss already had him pre-signed for £140k from Europa and to be fair isn't too far away from Ivan in ability and he is certainly more than a decent back-up.
Mario Tokic SW, DC- 32, Commanding Centre-Half & terrific captain, has 30 caps for Croatia & in my book should force his way back in for a few more if he continues playing this well.
Lee Peltier DR, DM- 21, Classy young modern full-back from Liverpool, although not quite world class, hence why they released him, he has enough about him to do the job, defends well, which is very important to me as, call me old-fashioned but I like my full-backs to be defenders 1st & attackive threat is a bonus.
Ryan Garry D LC- 24, Never really got a chance at Arsenal & to be fair, won't really be first team here for a couple of years but he has a decent footballing brain & still has time to improve as a defender.
Alvaro DC- 30, I must admit, first impressions were 'right, brazilian centre-half, definetely weak & dodgy, gotta go'. However, he is that rarest of breeds, a strong, physical Brazilian centre-half & he hasn't let anyone down as a first team regular as yet.
Ali Manouchehri DC- 21, Very cool, calm & composed for a centre-half that young, looks like he's played the game for years, Hence why he already has 16 full Chile caps.
Ulises De La Cruz D/WB R- 33, Expierenced Premiership Full-Back with Villa & Reading. Peltier may have nicked his 1st team spot at Right-Back but he is not letting anyone down and his old head could prove crucial later on in a potential relegation dog-fight.
Ian Harte D/WB L- 30, I think you all know about Ian Harte, brilliant left foot on him, but like I said earlier, I prefer my Full-Backs to be Defenders 1st & any attacking threat is icing on the cake & seeing as, at times, Ian can be found wanting at the back, he doesn't command a regular place in the team. No-one can doubt his class though and he is a good man to have around.
John O' Brian D/WB L, DM- 30, The 40 cap U.S. international is exactly what I like in a full-back, a solid defender who knows how to defend wide areas, hence why he is ahead of Harty in the pecking order. O.K., he doesn't offer much in terms of attacking wide play but he can defend wingers and thats all I ask of him.
Felix Dja Ettien WB/AM R- 28, The Ivorian international is very fancy, looks good to watch, but to be honest he doesn't deliever end product. Therefore, he hasn't really seen too much active 1st team action, although he can come of the bench and lift a flaging tired team just by beating a couple of men.
Mathieu Berson DM- 27, The former Villa man and ex-French U 21 player had a very good year at Levante last year & is much better suited the spanish game, doing very well so far.
Anthony Grant DM- 20, Released by Chelsea, I feel that with the experienced players alongside him, he can sit back and learn off them & in the long-term be a great player for the club.
Sylvain N'Diaye DM- 31, I originally wanted to get rid of the senegalese player but there were no takers and the length of contract meant releasing him wasn't an option. In training he was awful, yet when I gave him a game he suddenly turned it on. Definetly a weak trainer but on the field a very decent La Liga midfielder.
Alexander Baumjohann AM RL- 20, I can't believe I got this guy to sign a contract for us rather than re-sign for Gelsenkirchen, he is absolutely lightning quick and how he hasn't got some German U-21 caps is beyond comprehension. O.K, so as of yet he isn't that skillful and his end product isn't the best as of yet but he scares defenders with his pace and that always put you one up on the defender before you even start.
Kike Mateo AM RLC- 28, Was playing his football in Liga B last year with Hercules before I signed him on a free and I must admit he has had trouble adjusting to the step up. I like him, I see a little of a Matthew Spring in him & believe that if he can adjust over the next 3 or 4 months he will be a very good player for us next season.
Chiguy Lucau AMR FC- 23, The guy who has scored 3 in 3 for the Rep. of Congo was released by Le Mans at the end of last season and Mick Harford said I have to sign this guy up. However, I wasn't so sure and sent Bravo & a couple of our Spanish scouts to see him & they came back giving similar reports. So I signed him and after he suddenly exploded onto the scene when played behind a loan front man & is our top scorer with 6 in 9 starts.
Gabriel Agbonlahor AMR ST (LOAN)- 21, Me and Mick thought that the England u-21 international, with his strength & physical presence he could do the target man job as the loan front man that Mick himself was great at in his playing days. But, unfortunately the lads just hasn't hit a rhythm with Spanish football yet & I doubt he will, but he's a good lad, a hard worker & he has the attributes to come good.
Laurent Robert AML- 32, I've always viewed Laurent as a bit of a one-trick pony, an absolutely terrific cannonball shot with nothing else really in his game. Having worked with him for 6 months I can tell you that it's definately true!! However, I've kept him on the staff as a lot of the guys like him & rate him, as well as his ability to create a goal out of nothing will come in handy in trying to get something out of games we have no right to.
Emil Halfredsson AML- 23, My old mate 'Macca' McIndoe alerted me to this guy after playing a Wolves res. Vs Spurs res. when getting back to fitness & although I didn't see him as an option at Racing Santander where I had Claudio Lopez, Pedro Munitis & Oscar Serrano. I felt, with him being released from Spurs & needing someone with more of an all-round game than Robert that the boy could do a job for us. He's repaid my faith in him so far with 4 assists in his 8 starts.
Antoine Sibierski AM/FC- 33, Newcastle released him because of his age and I appreciate why. However, at a struggling club like ours with me having sold every 1st team striker at the club, I felt the former French U-21 international could do a good buffetting & barging, unsettling job on Spanish defenders & although his record of 2 goals in 11 starts doesn't suggest a great deal, opposition defenders have had trouble with his style & he has created room for others, particually Chiguy Lucau.
Malcolm Christie ST- 28, I know he's had an injury plagued career, but he is a goalscorer and I felt he could find a new lease of life in a different country & although it hasn't worked out so far. I believe he could still come good & I'm comforted by the fact that Big Mick & Bravo still feel the same.
Danny Graham ST- 22, Released by 'Boro along with Christie, Bravo nagged at me to give him a chance having seen him score 6 in 9 during a loan spell at Oldham last year. To which I replied...'Well that's OLDHAM! No offense but this is La Liga.' However, I trust his judgement and he said it wasn't the amount of goals that had impressed him it was the range, right foot, left foot, headers, tap-in's, volley's. The Lot so to speak, so I went with him & although he hasn't really featured so far in action, he's a good trainer, a willing worker & he will be thrown in at some stage.

Looks good! I like how you are interweaving real-life with fiction. I will be following this . Good luck with this!

January '08

The 1st news that interested me in the new year was that 29-year-old Striker David Karanka had been released by Liga B side Sporting Gijon. Not big news you'd think, but 3 or 4 years previously I'd seen him play in La Liga for the side closest to my grandad's home in Campasol, Murcia. He looked a cracking little young prospect then and I was guessing he must have lost his way a little bit since then.

I had a massive argument about him with Mick Harford but I felt he had something & I wanted him but, for Mick's benefit, I sent a couple of scouts just to check him over & they agreed he had something, & I quickly snapped him up on the eqivilent of £450 p/w.

Then a couple of my spanish coaches told me that Ryan Garry was mouthing off about his lack of 1st team football. However, I think that it's a bit of a petulent patch he has to get through & I was prepared to let it lie for a while.

Sociedad (H)

So I went into the 1st game of 2008 with a patchwork side due to injuries. Including Lacau & Karanka, who was still recovering from an injury he had when we signed him. However confidence was high & it was a darn sight higher still when Kike Mateo won us an early penalty which Alvaro tucked away.

We had a fairly comfortable first half too, although on the hour, an awful backpass forced Cuellar to head straight up in the air & we had poor finishing to thank to still be ahead. 10 minutes later though, that same centre forward beat Tokic in the air & it was 1-1. Worse was to follow as John O' Brian was sent off with 15 min left.

His replacement at left back, Harty was instrumental in the final result though as he & the other sub Halfredsson shared 1-2's down the flank before the Icelander whipped in a beauty that was headed in by Berson to give us a very unlikely victory!


With David Karanka signed, I felt it was time to let Gabby return to Villa, with regret that he hadn't done as well as we'd hoped. However, someone we had no reject in letting go was wage drainer Riga, who had finally agreed to terminate his contract.

Espanyol (A)

Ryan Garry had come up to me in midweek and admitted he was having trouble settling in Spain, however, with John O' Brian suspended & Alvaro injured in training I needed him to fill in at Centre-Half. I was exceptionally pleased with his reply as, in a game of few chances he was brilliant & was rightly awarded man of the match in La Marca next morning.

It finished 1-1 with us taking the lead through a hoofed long ball which Sibierski controlled & punted home & although I was unhappy with the scrappy defending for their 2nd half equalizer, having lost such a commanding presence as Tommasi just before half-time to injury, I gladly took the point.

I gave Garry the hug he needed & deserved but, I see he still has that forlorn feeling of not being at home in this country.

Valencia (A)

Tommasi recovered and I therefore kept the same team as the Espanyol game for the Valencia derby.

As you expect, our more illustrious rivals controlled the game & run out comfortable winners 3-0, with Joaquin & Van Persie running the show. We weren't helped by the fact that Tommasi picked up a similar knock & Tokic was sent off in the second half. However, young Anthony Grant was a ray of hope with a terrific performance having come on for Tommasi.


*Knock on door*
ME: 'Come in Mario'
TOKIC: 'Yes Boss'
ME: 'Right, you were on a booking, we were two nil down, the ref is being over-strict, being a derby & all, yet you go & make a tackle like that. I have no option but to give you an official warning. If only because I have to be seen to treat you as captain, the same as anybody else.'
TOKIC: 'Fine, fair enough Boss, I fully accept the warning.'
ME: 'Fine then.'

PostAlmeria (H)

"What the ***** are you ******* playing at! We are at home to a ****** awful side & we play like a load of ****! We might as well have spend the afternoon on the touchline ******* in the Wind! This was a must win & we're now only 3 away from the Relegation zone! Not flipping 6!

wow great story mate. A really enjoying read and nice touch of real life and fiction. Love it how you managing a pretty un-known side and that ur build up was with a lower youth team. Excellent stuff mate and I will continue reading

February '08

Zaragoza (H)

ME: 'Oi Ref!
*Ref ignores me*
ME: 'I know you speak English, where the frigging hell do you get 4 minutes injury time from! No injuries, few substitutions! We were 1-0 up against the team 5th in the league and they score in the 94th. Your so called injury time has cost us 2 ******* points! You.....
REF: 'You continue & I'll report you'
ME: 'Hey, O.K. man, i'll lay off. It's just I'm a qualified ref too & I just wanted to know where you got 4 minutes from?'
*Out of earshot*
ME: '& It's idiot refs like you who don't communicate that give your profession a bad ****** name'

Osasuna (A)

ME: 'Did I go for it to much or too early Mick?'
HARFORD: 'Maybe, but listen, your doing at good job & besides, might as well go for it & lose 4-1 than just let them win 2-1. Makes no difference in the points section does it.'
ME: 'True'
HARFORD: 'Besides, we're doing a good job with an ordinary bunch of guys.'

I got a note the next day from my chairman Pedro Villarroel asking me to go and see him. So I did, he started talking about the debt and despite the fact I was doing a good job in reducing it, how he still felt it was better if he was to get out like he had said when I'd taken the job. He then told me how local businessman & fan, Diego Lopez Lorenzo had set up a supporters trust and was looking to raise the equivalent of £6m on their behalf (Pedro was good like that, he knew I wasn't good on exchange rates). If he did, then Pedro told me he'd sell up.

I didn't mind that, seeing as it'd be a club owned by the supporters, I like that sort of thing, unless Diego got too big for his boots of course. I didn't mind the transfer embargo either, seeing as what was I gonna sign someone with anyway!

Celta (H)

Outplayed by a side who are actually not that good, lost 2-0 and it's not only 6 games without a win, more importantly, I'm worried that the Zaragoza equaliser and last 20 minutes of the Osasuna game may have played havoc with their confidence. Villarreal away is now crucial as we are only 1 place & 2 points outside the drop zone & they are in it, 3 points behind us but with 3 games in hand on everybody.

Villarreal (A)

I get the very worrying feeling that we're going down, Villarreal went and hammered Osasuna 4-0 away in midweek to drop us into the relegation zone & then having lead 2-1 & only conceding an equaliser to a stunner, the morale levels kicked in & we lost 4-2, I'm very, very, very worried.

Great second update, the first one was great story wise but it confused me slightly when the season was starting. The second one has a nicelayout. Pictures would really make this story ace.

Nice updates mate, good luck with the rest of the story.

Looks like your in a bit of trouble...

Love the writing mate, keep it up

well done mate, great story

rip laura

26th & 27th February
My Birthday-Barcelona

After meeting my parents on the Monday (25th). On Tuesday, I met up with 'Bravo' & my old high-school mate Kevin Downes & flew back out to Spain, only to take a detour in Barcelona!

It was a great birthday & but for the fact I'm the youngest on the 3, I would've felt old about turning from 26 to 27! It was a great night out too, Barcelona is brilliant for that... now, if only it wasn't for....

The Girl

Her name was Tami Anderson, a model from back in the U.K., doing a job in Barcelona. She was a stunner, 6"1-2, long blonde hair, slim & in a slinky black number that made her look as if she'd come straight off the catwalk. For the first time since Laura had died, a girl had stopped me in my tracks. I must admit, I was slightlty sozzled & well one thing led to another & I woke up the next morning having done things I never thought I'd do again.

It bothered me though, when I woke up I regretted it. I didn't feel right, as if Laura was haunting over me & I'd cheated on her in some way, despite the fact she'd been dead for... well, you get the picture.

What should I have done? Talk to Tami about how I was feeling & probably see a psychatrist back in Valencia.

What did I do? Take the cowards way out as always. Take her number & promise to call her in the week.

'STEVE YOU ******* IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'