The Toon- Geordie Style (It's back!)

Jaztheman · Jan 12, 2008

7th January 2007 - Part One

You know how Sam Alladyce got sacked on the 5th, yeah? Well funny thing happened today, well it isn't but it is one for the books . Well after a successfull spell with Trang Range in the Ethipoan Top division, some how The Toon says to my application for manager, and have decided to give me an interview. Well so I packed and everything and I wore me brand spanking new Suit, which must I add is lovely. Anyways I arrived at the beautiful stadium of The Toon, St.James Park, and I made my way to the interview room. After a quick introduction on why I was there I told them all about my... history. A hopeful youth I was in The Toon youths until that darn broken leg ruined my chances, so they already know me slightly. Anyways it went really well with everyone being impressed, or so it seemed. Anyways later today whilst having a canny good old chicken pie, with vinegar, I received a phonecall, it just so happened te be Chris Mort, The Toon Chairman.

--------------------------

And by the way updates won't usually be that short just that I'm doing two short parts for the first day. I have already done five updates on another forum and thought I would post it here. First two updates are the worst though.

Highlander999 · Jan 12, 2008

You'll be sacked next month

Good luck, will be following

Jaztheman · Jan 12, 2008

7th Januray - Part Two

Hello, who is this may I ask?
It's Christ Mort, The Toon Chairman
bloody he... umm wow
Yeah, well. Just thought I would give you a quick ring just to tell you some important imformation, Hope I haven't interupted you or anything?
Cause not.
Good. Well we have been so impressed with you recently that we have decided to offer you the job.
*Silence*
Hello?
Holy smitherines!
Ha, so what do you say.
I'll give it my best shot...

Then we had a bit of chit chat, as you do, with the chairman of a Premiership Club and before I knew it I had the telephone numbers for all the First team and Reserve players, including the likes of Michael Owen. Well, it seems that today could be life changing although it could be a bloody well challenge with the under-achieving team we have but I'm sure with my contacts from my Preivous jobs that I can easily bring back to Newcastle... Bring something new to Newcastle called a Trophy. T-R-O-P-H-Y. Well I decided today that I would have to be quick with my signings and decided to think of a few poossible targes. The likes of a few foreigners Bogdan Stancu, Lulinha and Walter Centeno. I'm gonna take a good ole look on the database and see who is up for sale and if I could ifnd any targes which could come in favour for us. Although scrubbing the backup to the midfield, we could do with a new defence barring a few(Jose Enrique is a cracker) I'm thinking of opening a phoneline on Five Live for Newcastle supporters to ring in and tell us what players they think we should buy. Then again I could make Newcastle a whole English team. Hmm... Looks like I have both my hands full with this job.

Jaztheman · Jan 12, 2008

Tuesday 10th January

Right first game today, and I was a wreck. Met all the lads in the training sessions we had before todays game but wasn't much training as I wanted to get to know them a little and vice versa. We also went crazy golfing on Sunday as a treat and then went out to dinner. Steve Harper was a pile of ******** though, t'was hilarious. Moving back on to today, I was just getting ready when Nige(Pearson) the assistant manager phoned up and said to me to bring a bottle of bubbly to celebrate after the game. Cocky twat! Anyway, once at the stadium all the boys were there. Unfortunatley some of our bigguns would have to sit in the stands through Injury, the likes of Michael(Owen), Shay(Given) and Joey(Barton) plus a few others. Then again it was only AFC Telford, how hard can it be? Abdoulaye(Faye) came up to me, being a senagalese player his English wasn't the best and he said " We win today, and the next and the next." It may not of been perfect but by god it brought a tear to my eye. Well the time was now, The lads had lined up down the tunnel at St.James' and for the day I chose Nicky(Butt) to be captain and I gave him a few words of wisdom. " Play your normal game and get those tackles in. Get the lads to play football and we have got the game. Good luck." Well the whistle blew and the atmosphere around the ground was extraordinary. My first game in charge and the fans were already chanting my name! Well we didn't have the best of starts with them suprisingly being quick out of the blocks and knicking a quick goal when we were down to 10 men with Charles'(N'Zogbia) off with a knock. 9 minutes and 1 down wasn't the start I was hoping for. Well we picked up our game and we took it to them and our football was just exquisite but in the first 16-18 minutes we had at least 4 shots all over the bar when they should of been slotted home. Soon after in the 18th minute though, a lovely constructed move with over 20 passes with nearly all the players getting a touch, resulted in a Habib(Beye) through ball which James(Milner) latched onto and hit a rocket into the far bottom cornere. 1-1 and we were playing much better. Soon after it became 2-1 with Mark(Viduka) this time latching onto a Obafemi(Martins) through ball and dislodging it into the net. We were high flying at 2-1 and looking comfortable with the team playing great football, with the defence in Great shape. The next goal came and was an absolute beaut. Not because it was an amzing shot, because it was a one man mission by Obafemi and he then finished it clean too. Taking on a many defender, 3-1 after 40 minutes. Then another quick goal before half time by Mark once again to get his second as Obafemi gets his second assist as Mark gets a head to Oba's cross and in the net it goes. Half time and the score was 4-1. I was estatic with the boys in the dressing room. To pick themselves up after a terrible start and to play the kinda football Argentina played in the last world cup was just great. Obafemi was having a stormer whilst Abdoulaye was having a few problems. I made a few subsitions just to give a few lads a deserved rest. 6 minutes into the second half and it was 5-1, this time an own goal. James had put a cross from a free-kick and Vaughan from Telford had headed it in his own net. There was jubilant singing round the ground and The Toon wanted more. Unfortunatley though I told the boys to calm it, as they were getting a little complacent. It seemed to work though as a late surge by Ndjitap(Geremi) down the right wing secured the win even more for us as he delivered a banana like cross onto Alan Smith's Head, which flew into the top corner. We had a little bit of fun near the end at their expense and then the Ref blew the whilstle! 6-1 in my first game in charge! Yes it may of been against much weaker opposition but I thought and still htink we need to rebuild our confidence. " Well done Boys, fantastic game today. All of you were great but my man of the match today was Obafemi as 3 assists and 1 goal was outstanding and his link up play with Mark was great. Congratulations" As I handed over the bubbly I knew that this meant the world to him and I could see he loved playing football. I took Nicky aside and said " Well done to you Nick, you played a vital part in our game today. You held together the defence whilst commanding going forward." Pleasantly he replied in a nice gesture "Thanks boss, your tactic was spot on" Well as the boys left me and Nige tried to pick out the wrongs in the game today but we thought that we had done enough as the boys were just brilliant. On the way back to my house, my new one in Newcastle at that, I received a phonecall from Chris(Mort). He was just saying that we had secured a £2,000,000 move for Mirel Radoi to move to us! Well great news all round then. A great day at the office today...

Newcastle United 6 - 1 AFC Telford
James Milner 18
Mark Viduka 22,43
Obafemi Martins 40
Lee Vaughan Own Goal 51
Alan Smith 83

Harper - 8
Beye - 8
Enrique - 8
Cacapa - 8
Faye - 7
Milner - 8
N'Zogbia - 8
Emre - 8
Butt - 8
Martins - 9
Viduka - 9

Smith - 8
Troisi - 6
Babayaro - 7
Taylor - 7
Rozenhal - 7
Geremi - 8
Carr - 7
Donaldson - 7
Forster - Unused Sub

Highlander999 · Jan 12, 2008

Very good result for us, although if you had lost Jazz :noway

Any chance of paragraphs

Jaztheman · Jan 12, 2008

Highlander999 said:
Very good result for us, although if you had lost Jazz

Any chance of paragraphs

Funny you should mention that as all the rest use paragraphs.

Highlander999 · Jan 12, 2008

I'm just bitter you didn't voe for me in SOTM :noway

I'm very disappointed in you

Was that bribe of vcash worth nothing

Jaztheman · Jan 12, 2008

It is pretty much worth nothing.

----

Tuesday 17th January

Well matchday is here again, another win is expected and I am looking for goals and another clean sheet. Well we have been the most active in the transfer window since last match strengthing our team with no less than 10 players and selling only the one. Thanks to my contacts in Romania from earlier jobs it made it a little easier bringing theplayers to the Premiership knowing that I know how they play.

Mirel(Radoi) from Steau Bucharest came to us for £2,000,000 on the same day Bogdan(Stancu) came to us from Unirea Urziceni for £250,000. Both Romanians seemed to fit in quite well and they are both going to play big parts in future games, I'm sure. Sabrin(Sburlea) came for £26,000 from FC Brosov, Lazsio(Sepsi) came for £50,000 and Dorian(Andronic) from SC Vaslui for £50,000, all came the following day. Niklas(Barkroth), Adrian(Hora), Andrei(Margaritescu), Stefan(Mardare) and Christian(Sarghi) for a combined total of £1,300,000. Although the combined total for all the players coming to us was £3,700,000 on an average of £370,000 per player.

We only sold the one player, Matty Pattison who was only a reserve player. He was always on the way out and with the burst of players to the club he had to go. A few of the new players went into the reserves to get used to English football so he had no place. We did fetch a nice price for him of £950,000 with very nice clauses, which I'm sorry I can't tell you. Hull was the lucky club to get him.

On the staff front I decided, which was a very difficult desicion, I decided to release Nigel Pearson on mutal termination. I found a decent replacement in Chris Sulley who I haven't yet spoken too only coming yesterday. Also on the staff front scout, Joe Joyce has gone on mutal termination as I wanted to raise the bar here at Newcastle and brought in John Murtaugh who seems to have everything I wanted. Looks like 2 good moves, just hope they both pay off.

Anyway back onto today's game against Abbey Hey and fans after the last game want 5 or more, set the standard high for ourselves. Although I would love to get that magic 5 or higher I must rest people so I'm going to make loads of subs. Anyway I arrived at St.James although when I got to the dressing room all the lads were already in their strip. I looked at the clock, Damn! I was over an hour late. I said sorry and everything and told them about today's game and who to watch out for and such. Anyway the game started, and as usual we started terribly but this time not conceding any goals. We played some nice football, not good but nice, but no-one could finish, even though Bogdan hit the post twice. 30 minutes gone and we finally get the breakthrou... or so I thought. Bogdan's goal is ruled out for offside following a corner by James. Anyway 8 minutes later and the deadlock... is broken! Obafemi gets to the ball first from a James Milner cross and puts in straight through the opposition's kepper's legs. Wahay! Another luck break minutes before half time saw new boy Mirel punt the ball up the field and Obafemi turn on the pace to take on two defenders and hit a rocket. 2 goals for Obafemi at the break and a hat-trick looks quite likely. Well I make a handful of subs and the boys are back out there and an instant goal by Obafemi secures the win. 5 minutes from the restart and Charles hits a lovely chip over the defender where Obafemi lobs the keeper from about 10 yards. Following this I though it was time to bring him off " Hey Oba. Perfect, absolutely perfect" Well unfortunatley, pretty much our second eleven couldn't get another goal but at least they didn't concede. It may have been only a little win but by god me and Chris had some holes to fill, and by the way he's a sound guy, knows his stuff. After congratulating the lads, me and Chris make some tweaks in the formation and we talk about the team. I ask him to arrange another friendly and he says he will do so. I've invited Chris round for tea tonight so I think I'm gonna cook something real good. Although a takeway pie is looking pretty good at the moment.

Newcastle 3 - 0 Abbey Hey
Obafemi Martins 38,43,50

Harper - 7
Faye - 8
Enrique - 8
Taylor(c) - 7
Radoi - 8
Milner - 8
N'Zogbia - 8
Stancu - 6
Margaritescu - 7
Viduka - 7
Martins - 9(3)

Smith - 8
Triosi - 6
Hora - 7
Geremi - 7
Cacapa - 7
Rozehnal - 7
Sepsi - 7
Beye - 7
Babayaro - Unused Sub
Butt - 6
Emre - Unused Sub
Sburlea - 7

Jaztheman · Jan 12, 2008

Monday 23rd January

Well Chris surely thinks we are better than what old Nigel thought we were as instead of choosing easy fixtures and getting little money, it seems he wants hard fixtures and getting lots of money, sounds great to me! Well he chose to play Rangers after some bigger teams didn't want to play us but it should be interesting. We have bought two people since the last game, both pretty much players for the future, one more than the other and I'm sure after a while they will both re-pay us in some way.

The first signing is Nacer Barazite from Arsenal's youth team for £150,000. He is 17 years old and is definetly a player for the future, and Chris thinks he will be a quality player in the years to come. Result! The 2nd player to come to The Toon is Gabriel Torje, who I have been scouting for a while without knowing wether or not to snap him up and in the end we fought off a fierce bidding war where some teams were bidding millions and getting rejected but we got our offer in first of £250,000 and Poli 1921 accepted it, probaly not knowing what was going to happen. So estatic that Torje chose us over numerous other clubs. He must be very smart for a player his age!

Well our first very big game, although only a friendly it is a mini 'Battle Of Britain' in which most pundits are saying is going to be a draw. The odds were in favour of us slightly but I knew it was going to be a hard game. The team spirit in the dressing room was brilliant and I really wanted the lads to have the same kind of team spirit going into the League. Which means, as this is going to be our last friendly, we desperatley needed a win, thanks Chris. Well I decided to change the team quite a lot with Torje looking dissapointed not to be starting but I wanted to win this. Anyway the first league game is about 20 days away so plenty of time for him to impress me. Well going into the game we had the best possible start with the lads, a determined bunch at that, were really going for it today and being quite ruthless. The first goal came after 3 minutes in which Rangers hadn't touched the ball because of our exquisit build up play as Obafemi Martins once again slid it past Roy Carroll(!) after a decent enough through ball by a young Charles N'Zogbia. We kept the tempo where we wanted it and we were starting to quicken the pace when they hit us on the break with Naysmith getting the equalizer. Chris and I had a chat in the last 5 minutes of the half about what to tell them as after 25/30 minutes it was all Rangers. The half time team talk pretty much consisted of calm it down and try and find the rythm witch we had in the first 25 minutes. Well after a few subs I thought we couldn't lose with Rangers looking tired but they were standing their ground and playing very defensively, kudos to them. Going into the 90th minute with only 3 minutes of stoppage time going to be added on It was looking bleak. 95th minute?! I was wondering what the ref was doing and Walter Smith, the Rangers Boss was shouting furiously at the Ref. We then broke through the defence and Bogdan hit a beauty of a shot from 25 yards.... Tipped over! Great save but everyone was up for the corners including the fans who were all on the edge of their seat in anticipation and acted as a 12th member of the team. All our players were up apart from Harper. Geremi took the corner and slipped as he did and it didn't look like it was going to get past the first defender... until Bogdan Stancu came in and hit a bullet header at the front post! A goal in the 95th minute when only 3 minutes were added on shows how fortunate we were. The whilsted blow at the restart and the boys were jubilant. We didn't really tell them anything except they were great for not letting the frustration of 19 shots and 1 goal get to them and then get that 2nd goal. We let them go home early instead of giving them a chat, so I got to get home early. What a day that was, eh?!

Newcastle 2 - 1 Rangers
Obafemi Martins 3
Bogdan Stancu 90+5

Harper - 7
Beye - 7
Enrique - 7
Rozehnal - 7
Taylor(c) - 7
Milner - 7
N'Zogbia - 7
Troisi - 7
Butt - 6
Viduka - 6
Martins - 8(1)

Crook - Unused Sub
Geremi - 7
Emre - 7
Smith - 6
Babayaro - 7
Torje - 6
Stancu - 8(1)
Radoi - 7
Margaritescu - 6
Faye - 7
Cacapa - 7
Sepsi - Unused Sub

freddiw · Jan 12, 2008

yey awesome writing and results
as a manager KUTGW with this story
will there be any images (maybe just of newcastle player who scores)

OrderDX · Jan 12, 2008

just read story great work this is really interesting mate

Jaztheman · Jan 13, 2008

There won't be any images freddi as it is a diary.

Thanks for the comments guys.

-------------

July 2007 - An Overview

Well it was an outstanding month with me getting the Newcastle United Job, and then it just kept getting better and better. We may have been very active in the transfer window but I think that we have got the team which will get us in the champions league spot for definit, if not top two position. I've compiled all the results from July 2007 with a little note to go with it:

Newcastle 6 - 1 AFC Telford
It was a cracking first game in charge and we did nearly everything right, scored lots of goals and defended very well. The team played well as a team and everyone knew what to do.

Newcastle 3 - 0 Abbey Hey
Our worst win but nonetheless a very good win with Obafemi bagging a hat-trick. A good game but we had been pushed a little bit to the suprise of everyone in the stadium.

Newcastle 2 - 1 Rangers
The most important win of the lot. The win got everyones morale up and the late winner by new boy Bogdan definetly helped the matters. I'm sure this won't be the last time we play each other.

Transfers:

In
Mirel Radoi - £2M
Bogdan Stancu - £250K
Sabrin Sburlea - £26K
Laszio Sepsi - £50K
Dorian Andronic - £50K
Niklas Barkroth - £350K
Adrian Hora - £150K
Andrei Margaritescu - £500K
Stefan Mardare - £150K
Cristian Sarghi - £200K
Nacer Barazite - £150K
Gabriel Torje - £250K
Total = £4.1M

Out
Matty Pattison - £950K
Fraser Forster - Loan
James Toisi - Loan
Total = £950K

Looking forward to next month when all the big leagues and cups all start and where it gets tough. It's what we need, as a team. Newcastle has been overdued a trophy for a long time now.

OrderDX · Jan 13, 2008

kool summary this story is great so simple but so effective keep the great work up!

Jaztheman · Jan 13, 2008

Saturday 11th August

After an amazing pre-season, with me as a suprise addition to the management to say the least, the first Barclays Premiership match had arrived. We had been drawn at home to Everton, in wich we must win. Our first 6 games are easy and then we have a tough run so we need to make the most out of these games. Also we have signed Lulinha from Corinthians for an undisclosed fee although he won't be available to play for or train for us unto July 1st 2008 due to Brazilian rules. Following my first game in charge of a competitive match in England I am very nervous and hope the nerves don't get the better of me. We are favourites going into the game but liike the Rangers game, many think it could be a draw. Lets hope we can snatch a win!

Well the dressing room was quiet today! Everyone looked so determined and focused on today's match and then I decided on who would be captain. I chose Radoi to be captain as he can influence anybody and is a born leader, aswell as being Romanian like all my other new signings so he can help them settle in easier, maybe. The vice-captain, I chose Mr.Taylor. A strong English center back is he and I'm sure he won't let anyone do anything wrong without knowing about it. I'm sure this is the right decision as they are both Center Backs and at least one of htem will be playing every game, both of them in this case. All the boys seemed happy with my appointments and off to the pitch we went. Both teams started brightly although Everton had the upper hand in the first 5 minutes dominating possesion but then it was all us. A great first goal was scored after 26 minutes as Charles N'Zogbia on the edge of the box gave it to Obafemi who turned took it round Phil Neville and hit it low and hard into the far bottom corner. 1-0! 12 minutes later and we scored again... unluckly this time as the goal was disallowed. Bogdan came off his defender too quick and the replay shows that he was to early. Few minutes later and Bogdan hits a rocket from 20 yards which rebounds off the post as their keeper doesn't move an inch. They luckily escape till half time and there isn't much I can say to the boys at this stage. 14 minutes into the second half and the first Romanian to score scores. A lovely move with Bogdan's shot getting a deflection and Sepsi hits it from a tight angle and it sneaks in at the near post. 15 minutes later and another close call as Torje is the man to come close as he hits the bar with a cheeky lob from inside the box. We seem to be getting lots of shots but rarely are they actually getting on target. They stagger to the end of the day but not before we injure Phil Neville. All in all a cracking first game in which we won 2-0! Hurray! The boys are estatic coming into the dressing room as they congratulate each other but the real winners are the fans, they were great. We were only 20 seats short of fulling the stadium completely which shows how commited the fans are.

Well after all the games have finished including a United home thrashing of 4-0 of Middlesborough we lay 6th in the league. The press are full of praise for us, especially for Margaritescu who's passing was priceless in the game against Everton for us. Well Match of the day should be bright tonight, I'm sure I might make an appearance.

Newcastle 2 - 0 Everton
Martins 26
Sepsi 69

Harper - 7
Beye - 7
Enrique - 8
Radoi(c) - 7
Taylor - 7
Torje - 7
N'Zogbia - 8
Milner - 7
Margaritescu - 7
Stancu - 7
Martins - 8(1)

Sepsi - 8(1)
Geremi - 7
Emre - 7
Smith - Unused Sub
Cacapa - Unused Sub

Round The Grounds

Arsenal 3 - 0 West Ham
Aston Villa 1 - 1 Fulham
Bolton 3 - 1 Wigan
Blackburn 1 - 2 Birmingham
Chelsea 2 -0 Sunderland
Derby 1 - 2 Man City
Liverpool 1 - 2 Reading
Man Utd 4 - 0 Middlesborough
Newcaslte 2 - 0 Everton
Portsmouth 2 - 1 Tottenham

Highlander999 · Jan 13, 2008

Good result for us.

Big shock, Reading beating Liverpool

The Toon- Geordie Style (It's back!)

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

Highlander999

ICC President

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

Highlander999

ICC President

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

Highlander999

ICC President

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

freddiw

Panel of Selectors

OrderDX

International Cricketer

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

OrderDX

International Cricketer

Jaztheman

Chairman of Selectors

Highlander999

ICC President

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