E
electioneering
Guest
For all ya cricket fans,these incidents are real:
"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still
zero."
-Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983. Gavaskar had decided to
relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But,
Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for
ducks,
setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he thought there
would be less pressure!
%%%%%%%%
Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a
superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5
1/2 ounces."
Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and replies,
"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
%%%%%%%
Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip,
and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At
the
end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I
should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman,
"Not
you son, Your mother should've!"
%%%%%%%
Then there's this wicketkeeper who quitely asked the new batsman:"So
how's your wife, and my kids?"
Guess who.........Rod Marsh....to Ian Botham!!
%%%%%%%
New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a
comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games.
Cullinan
played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the
pitch,
and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"
%%%%%%%
Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred
Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders,
whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fredie finds this objectionable.
'Ere,
if
you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"
%% %%%%%
The best one (Incident described in "From the ###### End" by Harold
"Dickie" Bird) "Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character,
played
for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since
one
couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton's
famous
words describing an equally inept runner; "When he shouts 'YES' for a
run,
it is merely the basis for further negotiations!" Incidentally, Compton
was
no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would
call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time."
Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous
runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors.......
both
got injured.
*Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a
ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran
himself.
Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run
was
on.
Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts
of
"YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end. Note - at
this
point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their
behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a
minute,
picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.
Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly
informs
them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and
inform the lovely scorers!"
"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still
zero."
-Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983. Gavaskar had decided to
relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But,
Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for
ducks,
setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he thought there
would be less pressure!
%%%%%%%%
Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a
superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5
1/2 ounces."
Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and replies,
"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
%%%%%%%
Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip,
and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At
the
end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I
should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman,
"Not
you son, Your mother should've!"
%%%%%%%
Then there's this wicketkeeper who quitely asked the new batsman:"So
how's your wife, and my kids?"
Guess who.........Rod Marsh....to Ian Botham!!
%%%%%%%
New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a
comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games.
Cullinan
played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the
pitch,
and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"
%%%%%%%
Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred
Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders,
whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fredie finds this objectionable.
'Ere,
if
you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"
%% %%%%%
The best one (Incident described in "From the ###### End" by Harold
"Dickie" Bird) "Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character,
played
for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since
one
couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton's
famous
words describing an equally inept runner; "When he shouts 'YES' for a
run,
it is merely the basis for further negotiations!" Incidentally, Compton
was
no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would
call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time."
Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous
runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors.......
both
got injured.
*Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a
ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran
himself.
Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run
was
on.
Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts
of
"YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end. Note - at
this
point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their
behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a
minute,
picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.
Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly
informs
them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and
inform the lovely scorers!"
: very funny indeed
:
