Is windows a virus?

Nikhil_Verma said:
Is Windows a virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses (viri?) do:

1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay, Windows does that, too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So, Windows is not a virus

I have to say funny :clap :clap :clap
 
Being a strong linux advocate(as my sig shows),I had always had this hatred for Microsoft and in particular for Bill Gates.Have you people seen that video in which Windows 98 crashes in a big seminar or sumthing in front of bill gates(u need to see his reaction)
 
duffarama said:
Most cars arn't compatible with half of the roads anyway. (referring to the side that the steering wheel is on in different countries) ;)


Here is GM's response when Bill Gates suggested "if GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors made the following contribution to the debate:
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the car windows, shut it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd accept this too.
5. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
6. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bout a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.
7. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
8. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.
9. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
10 People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.
11 We'd all have to switch to Microsoft petrol and lubricants but the packaging would be superb.
12 New seats would force everyone to have the same size arse.
13 The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
14 If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
15. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 1 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.
16. There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.
17. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes.Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.
18. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own anyroads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free,including IBM.
19. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11),then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive muchfaster, and on more roads!
20. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrowyour friends, and then copy it.
21. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignitionfor a few days before it worked.
22. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.
23. Every time Microsoft introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
24. Microsoft would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Automobile Association Road maps (now a Microsoft subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
25. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
 
that was simply brilliant barmyarmy, where did u get them
 
Nice one Gm, i'd have loved to have seen Bill gates face when reading this.

300 posts!!!!
 
b.lee said:
that was simply brilliant barmyarmy, where did u get them

It was an e-mail I got a couple of years ago. Seeing Duff's post reminded me about it and a quick google search brought it up (obviously not the original e-mail).
 
Bill Gates is a guy who has a nut loose and speaks anything that comes in his foul mouth...

yeah and we're all still counting the survivors -- netscape, sybase, borland, oracle, cisco, sun ....

Sure he's a guy who's "nut-loose"
 
ritwik said:
They've been around for long. I read this list once in PC World and this was three maybe four years back.
I remember a funny moment from the movie "Southpark -Uncut...", during a demonstration around a war Win98 crashes and Billy gets called and shot right on spot before he says something!!
 

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