Coffs Harbour are ashamed to announce that the Lucky Lockdown Lunatics have chosen their ground as a home base. A spokesman for the stadium said: (on the clear understanding of anonymity) I can't look my children in the eye any more. It's a sad day for this great city and a sad day for cricket and humanity.
A spokeswoman for Coffs Harbour Tourist Board said: we will not be giving this event any publicity. They have been allowed to use the facilities in the strict understanding that they clean the toilets themselves.
The toilet at Lords after Jack Leach used it:
Luckily the annual Coffs Harbour Horse Meat Sausage Virtual Tasting Championships are taking part this time of the year and we are pouring millions of taxpayers dollars into highlighting that in a hope of distracting attention away from these events.