Not a Joke but Intresting Read

[handsome]

WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls...
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... ! ! ju! ! st the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound,you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

** A Letter from a Software Professional to his girl friend:


Sweetheart,
I've seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train
platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing
for. For a long time I've been lonely; this has been the bug in my
life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is an
uncompiled program without you, which never produces an
executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all of your ActiveX controls
are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it encourages
me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing
power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my
program modules are running smoothly and giving expected
results. /* Which I never experienced before */.

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are
linked together, I'll provide you all objects & libraries
necessary for a human being to live an error free life. Also don't
bother about the firewall, which may be created by our parents as I've
strong hacking capabilities by which I'll ultimately break their
security passwords and make them agree for our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database
so that my connect script will fail. And it?s all but certain that
if this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery. Kindly
interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of
your inbox.

-- A Bug free Software Professional

 

[Kshitiz_Indian]

Lol i like the software professional one :rtfl

 

[cnbd_novice]

** A Letter from a Software Professional to his girl friend:


Sweetheart,
I've seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train
platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing
for. For a long time I've been lonely; this has been the bug in my
life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is an
uncompiled program without you, which never produces an
executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all of your ActiveX controls
are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful that it encourages
me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing
power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my
program modules are running smoothly and giving expected
results. /* Which I never experienced before */.

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are
linked together, I'll provide you all objects & libraries
necessary for a human being to live an error free life. Also don't
bother about the firewall, which may be created by our parents as I've
strong hacking capabilities by which I'll ultimately break their
security passwords and make them agree for our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database
so that my connect script will fail. And it’s all but certain that
if this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery. Kindly
interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of
your inbox.

-- A Bug free Software Professional

That reminds me another one:

here's how a mathematician could write a love letter.
My Dear Love,


Yesterday, I
was passing by your rectangular house. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and
spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my
heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your
eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it
differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you
can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love
for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you
into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying
the limits from zero to infinity.

You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my
life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet
me at the restaurant inside the circle of a radius 30m by centering your house , on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making
an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be
like a solved
polynomial of degree 10.

With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of
an unknown function.

Yours ever
loving,

 

[handsome]

Corporate Toilet Policies!

With immediate effect, a toilet policy will be established to provide a more
consistent method of accounting for staff during working hours, thus
ensuring effective time management and equal treatment for all.

In future, the doors to all toilets will be equipped with computer-linked
voice recognition devices, which can only be activated to open at the sound
of a person's voice.
All staff must therefore immediately provide management with two
voiceprints, One in a normal tone and one under stress/desperation.

The following rules shall also apply:

1) On the first day of every month, all staff will be issued with 22
toilet trip credits, which may be accumulated.

2) Once the employee's toilet trip bank reaches zero, the doors of the
toilet will not unlock for the employee's voice until the first working day
of the following month.

3) In addition, all toilets are to be equipped with timed paper-roll
extractors. If the toilet is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm
will sound. Thirty seconds later, the roll of toilet paper will retract into
the dispenser, the toilet will flush and the door will open automatically.

4) If the toilet remains occupied, your photograph will be taken by a
security camera and will appear on the Toilet Offenders Board.

5) Anyone appearing three times will forfeit three months' toilet trip
credits.
6) Anyone caught smiling when the photograph is taken will undergo
counseling by a clinical psychologist.

7) Be advised that workmen's compensation insurance does not cover any
injuries incurred while trying to stop the toilet paper retracting into the
dispenser, or trying to keep the toilet door from opening.

We trust that you will co-operate fully with us, and suggest that if you
have any problems with this policy, you should make more use your own toilet
facilities at home where you can sit to your hearts content.

SIGNED BY THE MANAGEMENT

We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a
little of each other everywhere...

howz this?

 

[Griffo]

lol the way they hit you and expect it to hurt

thats the best one there, mainly cause im always getting hit...

 

[handsome]

Only one person could go,and he will not return to Earth. The first applicant,an American engineer,was asked how
much he wanted to be paid for going."A million dollars", he answered,"because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."The
next applicant,a Russian doctor,was asked the same question.He asked for two million dollars."I wish to give
a million to my family,he explained,"and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."The last
applicant was an Indian politician.When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear,
"Three million dollars."Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.The Indian Politician replied,
$1 million is for you, I'll keep $1million, and we'll give the American engineer $1 million and send him to Mars."

Howzs this?

 

[Annoyingdevil]

Is too much to read But You guys think is funny then It will be funny then?

 

[Dalek]

i read 4 lines. Whats going on?