To Russia via...

The date was... well after a hard night partying I don't know what the date was but I do know I was there. We had left my Apartment that evening and had ventured into town. There was Viroslav, Folov, Christeas, Ryhs and Jim. We all played football for a team called Lokomotiv Moscow in Russia. We were being touted as the future of Russian football. Viroslav and Folov were the only ones Russian born but the rest of us had lived in Russia for years. Anyway enough of the background knowledge. We were just entering Moscow from my apartment on the outskirts when a sudden jerk in my neck occurred.

We were driving down a narrow road with ditches either side, singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody or Богемская Рапсодия as it is called in Russia. Viroslav was in the front of the car in the passenger seat sleeping. I was driving whilst the rest were in the back. A strange thing then happened as we came to the end of the song, a sudden jerk in my neck made me swerve straight into a ditch, engine first. Did I forget to mention that we had just stolen 5 barells of oil from a oil factory? Well this made things a whole lot worse as a fire soon erupted. What happened next? I don't remember, even to this day.

I woke up 3 weeks later. I was told I had been in a coma. Not only that, but I was the only survivor from the car crash. All the rest couldn't get out of the car and I apparently was the only one to get out. A sudden guilty feeling came over me as I began to cry as only a real man would do. I hadn't opened my eyes before hearing the news and after crying my heart out for around 4 minutes. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful of nurses.

"You've told me everything bad so far, where am I?"
"You're in England, Mr Edmonds. Where you used to live."
"England?!"
"Yes, England, sir."
"Any chance of a Carlsberg then?"

I didn't get out of bed for the next 2 months and after a series of operations and many things which I didn't actually know what was happening. I was discharged eventually. So there I was. In a country I hadn't been in for 14 years. No money, no friends and with no memory of anything that had recently happened, no intelligence. I was alone. I needed to go back to where I called home.

Operation: Get Back Home - Starts now.

Brilliant start Jaz. Very intriguing, can't wait to see what happens next

Wat will happen next!!!!
MYSTERY

Wow jaz, thats an amazing start really great writing!

"Any chance of a Carlsberg then?"

Click to expand...

hahahaha

Very interesting start I must admit. I am assuming this is about a promising player who couldn't carry on because of an accident and hence chose management instead.

Sid's got the general jist of the opening post and knows where it's going. It is on Football Manager after all.

Thanks for the comments, all very much appreciated and I will be updating shortly.

Well so there I was; no home, no where to go, and basically nothing to call my own. All I had was a bottle of Kronenberg 1664 beer - which tasted as if it had been picked up from a crate which was last sing around 1664. Just the way I like it! I made my way to the centre of what seemed to be a city. I saw people with their caps on the wrong way round, what idiots. I finally found a sign nearby a busy road. It read Manchester. I've always wanted to come to Manchester, but definitely not under these circumstances.

I then saw a babe. I know, a babe in Manchester? Anyway she was a well developed blonde who looked rather intelligent but looked gorgeous in her own way.

"Hey. How you doing?"
"What the hell do you want?!"
"Well I was just wanderi..."
"I'm not a prostitute! You come anywhere near me and I'll punch your lights out!"
"But I was just..."
"Get away from me!"

Hmm. Flirting wasn't like this in Russia, the way I remember. I started walking backwards and I found a newspaper on the floor. Ha! England has terrible newspapers, they look so borin... what? 10th January 2008? 2008?! I've been in a coma for 15 years! They said it had been 3 weeks... Well I'm going back there. Well I would if I knew where the hospital was. Oh my, here I am lost in a foreign country in a future period.

15 years has gone by. I must be what... 31 years old! The best years of my life have been taken away from me. Good god. I have to get home as fast as I can. I need to go home and see everyone. I then saw someone who looked like he had been in a coma since the 80's! Could be my chance to ask for directions...

"Excuse me. I'm really desperate. Can you tell me where the nearest port is? I need to go to Russia."
"Well the nearest one which could take you to Russia is probably Sunderland, but that's nearly 150 miles. That's way too far for you to walk."
"I must. It's my destiny. Just one question... Erm like... where is Sunderland?"
"That's it. You're coming with me."

The man then took me by the scruff of my neck and through me into a green van with flowers on. Ok. I now know where I recognized him and it wasn't from the 80's. I think the 60's would be a more accurate guess...

Jaztheman said:

Sid's got the general jist of the opening post and knows where it's going. It is on Football Manager after all.

Thanks for the comments, all very much appreciated and I will be updating shortly.

Click to expand...

I think everyone knew that, that's how most of these stories seem to work

Congratulations on the 6000 posts Jack.

Yeah, but Sid said it.

Awesome update again. Really good writing and nice way of unveiling the story. Keep it up matey

COMA
OH my god
thats heartbreaking reading about the syory

So there we were, me and him, riding along in his green van with flowers on to Sunderland. I didn't know his name, I didn't really know where we were going and I really needed the toilet. That's one of the bad things, he didn't mind when he need to go, he just went. It went a bit crazy when he went for a pee when going round a round-a-bout but whatever. To break the silence, well not really science as we had The Beatles blaring out, I thought I would try a bonding session.

"I fell a bit strange at the moment. I'm here in the van with a stranger and I know nothing about you."
"That's because I can't tell much bro. Do you dig it?"

Do you dig it? I'm not even going to try and strike a conversation with someone who talks and looks like they're still in the 80's. Then again when you are listening to Yellow Submarine by The Beatles for the 15th time in a row, you do get tempted. I then got up from my chair for the first time in the journey. I ventured into the back and I couldn't believe what I saw. There were like TV's without any wiring and there was a phone which looked so small!

"That's a computer, bro."
"Say what now?"
"A computer. It's what we use to talk to our bro's and to find out information."
"So it's like as open as a blonde womans legs on a Friday night out? I dig you."

I was starting to pick up his language! This wasn't going well for me but I was starting to enjoy the ride. He had posters up everywhere and seemed to really like flowers alot. I couldn't help but notice a football shirt he had of Manchester United that was signed by Bob Dylan and another by John Lennon.

"You like football?"
"Aye, I love it. Money has ruined it though and they all have short hair now."
"You don't like short hair?"
"No."
"You wouldn't like the woman in Russia, then."

The next things i noticed in the van was a fridge! A fridge in a van? How ludicrous? I opened it and saw that it had two whole shelves of Kronenberg 1664 and Stella Artois. I was starting to love this freak more and more by the minute. I then went back to the passenger seat. 5 minutes later, and after listening to what seemed to be The Best Of Hippy Music, I saw a sign.

Welcome to Sunderland.

Oh dear. Don't get to like this freak James, friends like this will not help you learn about the present time

Brilliant Start James . The best ever start I have seen . Good luck with the story .

This is turning out to be a great story
maybe ask someone in hollywood to make this film