Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
The date was... well after a hard night partying I don't know what the date was but I do know I was there. We had left my Apartment that evening and had ventured into town. There was Viroslav, Folov, Christeas, Ryhs and Jim. We all played football for a team called Lokomotiv Moscow in Russia. We were being touted as the future of Russian football. Viroslav and Folov were the only ones Russian born but the rest of us had lived in Russia for years. Anyway enough of the background knowledge. We were just entering Moscow from my apartment on the outskirts when a sudden jerk in my neck occurred.
We were driving down a narrow road with ditches either side, singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody or Богемская Рапсодия as it is called in Russia. Viroslav was in the front of the car in the passenger seat sleeping. I was driving whilst the rest were in the back. A strange thing then happened as we came to the end of the song, a sudden jerk in my neck made me swerve straight into a ditch, engine first. Did I forget to mention that we had just stolen 5 barells of oil from a oil factory? Well this made things a whole lot worse as a fire soon erupted. What happened next? I don't remember, even to this day.
I woke up 3 weeks later. I was told I had been in a coma. Not only that, but I was the only survivor from the car crash. All the rest couldn't get out of the car and I apparently was the only one to get out. A sudden guilty feeling came over me as I began to cry as only a real man would do. I hadn't opened my eyes before hearing the news and after crying my heart out for around 4 minutes. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful of nurses.
"You've told me everything bad so far, where am I?"
"You're in England, Mr Edmonds. Where you used to live."
"England?!"
"Yes, England, sir."
"Any chance of a Carlsberg then?"
I didn't get out of bed for the next 2 months and after a series of operations and many things which I didn't actually know what was happening. I was discharged eventually. So there I was. In a country I hadn't been in for 14 years. No money, no friends and with no memory of anything that had recently happened, no intelligence. I was alone. I needed to go back to where I called home.
Operation: Get Back Home - Starts now.
We were driving down a narrow road with ditches either side, singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody or Богемская Рапсодия as it is called in Russia. Viroslav was in the front of the car in the passenger seat sleeping. I was driving whilst the rest were in the back. A strange thing then happened as we came to the end of the song, a sudden jerk in my neck made me swerve straight into a ditch, engine first. Did I forget to mention that we had just stolen 5 barells of oil from a oil factory? Well this made things a whole lot worse as a fire soon erupted. What happened next? I don't remember, even to this day.
I woke up 3 weeks later. I was told I had been in a coma. Not only that, but I was the only survivor from the car crash. All the rest couldn't get out of the car and I apparently was the only one to get out. A sudden guilty feeling came over me as I began to cry as only a real man would do. I hadn't opened my eyes before hearing the news and after crying my heart out for around 4 minutes. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful of nurses.
"You've told me everything bad so far, where am I?"
"You're in England, Mr Edmonds. Where you used to live."
"England?!"
"Yes, England, sir."
"Any chance of a Carlsberg then?"
I didn't get out of bed for the next 2 months and after a series of operations and many things which I didn't actually know what was happening. I was discharged eventually. So there I was. In a country I hadn't been in for 14 years. No money, no friends and with no memory of anything that had recently happened, no intelligence. I was alone. I needed to go back to where I called home.
Operation: Get Back Home - Starts now.
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