The Toon- Geordie Style (It's back!)
- Thread starter Jaztheman
- Start date
zammipspman
School Cricketer
You will soon get sacked(JOKE). 100% record is good for newcastle
treva
ICC Chairman
Ok this joke has gone to far now Jaz. Stop before you start to irritate and make some members uncomfortable! 
Nah seriously, that's some quality management. I spose at the start of the season they looked a real good outfit so on Footy manager it's always gunna be completely different to how it turned out. Top 4 could be a real possibility. Keep it up!
Nah seriously, that's some quality management. I spose at the start of the season they looked a real good outfit so on Footy manager it's always gunna be completely different to how it turned out. Top 4 could be a real possibility. Keep it up!
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Sunday 2nd September
Well more staff are coming and going as I have sacked a few more and have a few more poised to come but as they haven't signed on the dotted line, I won't tell you just yet. We're top and by god don't the fans know it. I have been receiving fan mail and the likes full of praise on how well the team is doing so far. Boo-ya-ka-sha!
Things at home have been a bit hectic so far as for some reason, the wife has been giving me the 'cold shoulder' and has made me sleep on the sofa. Then again there are rumours going round that I apparently slept with a page 3 girl. I haven't but I would, but I still haven't! Anyway jokes and personal life aside, Today was matchday! We had West Ham United at home at the glorious stadium of St.James' Park, soon to be named after me of course. Well the lads were having a bit of banter and it sooned dawned on me that they were making bets on who would score the most goals. After the discussion they announced that Michael Owen was most likely to score the most but Martins was most likely to score. How many GCSE's have these got again? Anyway for the second game in a row we started brightly this time after 5 minutes we took the lead with my man, and runner up of player of the month Obafemi Martins connected with a sweet volley from a cross by Michael Owen. The strikers working well together yet again. Then a boring spell, as they obviously have most of the possesion for some reason and I couldn't put my finger on it. Anyway sconds before half time Martins gets a break as he takes on Gabbidon with some electric foot work and has a pot shot which is saved and then finishes it in style to put us 2-0 up just before the break. Halft Time comes and I decided to let my assistant take it, as I'm just feeling so confident... 4 minutes into the second half and we score. "I hate you!" I said to Chris Sulley as I turned around. The goal itself was a route 1 gaol as Given took a free kick in his own penalty are which went all the way onto the edge of theirs where MIchael Owen finished it well. 3-0 and we are cruising! I think we got a bit cocky though and complacent as they quickly hit back with Luca Modric scoring a beautifully one man goal as he takes on four of our players on the counter attack. As I shout to the players to calm it down and play more defensively a chant starts going round the ground " Edmonds for Knighthood! Edmonds for Knighthood!" By god, did that feel good to hear. Anway the game istelf finished 3-1 to us as we took it home and safely to say, destroyed West Ham. Altogether a great display by the Toon Army.
Well it was a great day with Sunderland and Middlesborough losing as we say top by four points. Although it is funny as Sunderland are rock bottom with 0 points! And we have got them next which means, they ain't going anywhere!
Newcastle 3 - 1 West Ham
Martins 5,45
Owen 49
Given - 8
Geremi - 7
Enrique - 7
Radoi(c) - 8
Taylor - 7
Torje - 7
N'Zogbia - 7
Butt - 7
Emre - 7
Owen - 8
Martins - 9
Harper - Unused Sub
Smith - 7
Milner - Unused Sub
Beye - 7
Viduka - 6
Round The Grounds
Bolton 4 - 2 Fulham
Chelsea 1 - 0 Everton
Derby 1 - 0 Middlesborough
Liverpool 4 - 0 Aston Villa
Man Utd 2 - 0 Arsenal
Newcastle 3 - 1 West Ham
Portsmouth 1 - 1 Reading
Tottenham 3 - 1 Sunderland
Well more staff are coming and going as I have sacked a few more and have a few more poised to come but as they haven't signed on the dotted line, I won't tell you just yet. We're top and by god don't the fans know it. I have been receiving fan mail and the likes full of praise on how well the team is doing so far. Boo-ya-ka-sha!
Things at home have been a bit hectic so far as for some reason, the wife has been giving me the 'cold shoulder' and has made me sleep on the sofa. Then again there are rumours going round that I apparently slept with a page 3 girl. I haven't but I would, but I still haven't! Anyway jokes and personal life aside, Today was matchday! We had West Ham United at home at the glorious stadium of St.James' Park, soon to be named after me of course. Well the lads were having a bit of banter and it sooned dawned on me that they were making bets on who would score the most goals. After the discussion they announced that Michael Owen was most likely to score the most but Martins was most likely to score. How many GCSE's have these got again? Anyway for the second game in a row we started brightly this time after 5 minutes we took the lead with my man, and runner up of player of the month Obafemi Martins connected with a sweet volley from a cross by Michael Owen. The strikers working well together yet again. Then a boring spell, as they obviously have most of the possesion for some reason and I couldn't put my finger on it. Anyway sconds before half time Martins gets a break as he takes on Gabbidon with some electric foot work and has a pot shot which is saved and then finishes it in style to put us 2-0 up just before the break. Halft Time comes and I decided to let my assistant take it, as I'm just feeling so confident... 4 minutes into the second half and we score. "I hate you!" I said to Chris Sulley as I turned around. The goal itself was a route 1 gaol as Given took a free kick in his own penalty are which went all the way onto the edge of theirs where MIchael Owen finished it well. 3-0 and we are cruising! I think we got a bit cocky though and complacent as they quickly hit back with Luca Modric scoring a beautifully one man goal as he takes on four of our players on the counter attack. As I shout to the players to calm it down and play more defensively a chant starts going round the ground " Edmonds for Knighthood! Edmonds for Knighthood!" By god, did that feel good to hear. Anway the game istelf finished 3-1 to us as we took it home and safely to say, destroyed West Ham. Altogether a great display by the Toon Army.
Well it was a great day with Sunderland and Middlesborough losing as we say top by four points. Although it is funny as Sunderland are rock bottom with 0 points! And we have got them next which means, they ain't going anywhere!
Newcastle 3 - 1 West Ham
Martins 5,45
Owen 49
Given - 8
Geremi - 7
Enrique - 7
Radoi(c) - 8
Taylor - 7
Torje - 7
N'Zogbia - 7
Butt - 7
Emre - 7
Owen - 8
Martins - 9
Harper - Unused Sub
Smith - 7
Milner - Unused Sub
Beye - 7
Viduka - 6
Round The Grounds
Bolton 4 - 2 Fulham
Chelsea 1 - 0 Everton
Derby 1 - 0 Middlesborough
Liverpool 4 - 0 Aston Villa
Man Utd 2 - 0 Arsenal
Newcastle 3 - 1 West Ham
Portsmouth 1 - 1 Reading
Tottenham 3 - 1 Sunderland
Last edited:
D
Deleted member 13648
Guest
Am I in a footballing heaven?
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
w3lshrugby
Panel of Selectors
Oh my. Stop this now Jaz. Surely Newcastle aren't allowed to win this number of matches. This is ASTONISHING.
Highlander999
ICC President
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2006
- Location
- London
Pfff Newcastle rule. And Sunderland are bottom :happy
zammipspman
School Cricketer
You're Getting on beautifuly. Keep up the good work with those posts Jaz.
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Saturday 15th September
Well things at home seemed to have dried up a bit now as I made it up to the missus by.... wait, why am I writing this! International week was last week and it was nice to see Michael Owen score 6 goals in 2 games for England and Alan Smith scoring 1 goal in 1 game, as England win 3-1 and 4-0 over Israel and Russia respectivaley. Loads of new staff changes and we have taken training up a notch as I now aim for a top 6 position and for Europe next year!
Onto the match or matchday, and by god were we favourites. People weren't wondering who would win but maybe how many we would score! I knew this couldn't be all good as it could make the players too big headed and they might become complacent. Although I did have a quick word with Obafemi Martins before the game and I told him to play like he has been and to get an early goal. And boy did he do that. A nice start to the game was capped by his goal in the 11th minute as a Geremi long throw was taken through the defence by Obafemi as it slots it home past the outrushing keeper. 1-0 and a great start. then another goal comes shortly after as in the 23rd minute Torje gets his head to a high cross by Sepsi as the two young Romanians work together to get another goal for the Toon. Now cue the old Newcastle as we make lots of defending mistakes and play utter rubbish until half time. "Don't Be Complacent!" I said, quite angrily I must admit. Anyway they seemed to of listened as they started defending very well until Davies hit a wonderful corner for them which Bouazza nodded in to take it back to 2-1. Now I was getting annoyed and wanted to sure it up so I brought on Margaritescu and from then on we defended very well with him not having that good a game but giving everyone back up when needed, in other words confidence. Well in the 90th minute we got hte 3rd goal and sealed the game with Obafemi Martins getting another goal with his head from Geremi's corner, and that marks Geremi's second assist to Martins today. Not an amazing win by any stretch of the imagination but at least we banged them in at one end and kept a few out at the other. Martins now has 8 goals in 6 games in the league.
Elsewhere Liverpool continued their somewhat bad form(excluding last weeks 4-0 win) to slump against Arsenal whilst Derby picked up a surprising draw away at West Ham. AND SUNDERLAND LOST 4-0 AT HOME!
Fulham 1 - 3 Newcastle
Martins 11,90
Torje 23
Given - 8
Geremi - 8
Enrique - 7
Radoi(c) - 8
Taylor - 7
Torje - 7
Sepsi - 8
Butt - 7
Emre - 7
Owen - 7
Martins - 9
Harper - Unused Sub
Smith - 7
Margaritescu - 6
Beye - Unused Sub
Viduka - 6
Round The Grounds
Aresnal 2 - 0 Liverpool
Aston Villa 0 - 0 Bolton
Fulham 1 - 3 Newcastle
Midlesborough 0 - 2 Portsmouth
Reading 1 - 1 Blackburn
Sunderland 0 - 4 Man Utd
West Ham 1 - 1 Derby
Wigan 1 - 2 Chelsea
Well things at home seemed to have dried up a bit now as I made it up to the missus by.... wait, why am I writing this! International week was last week and it was nice to see Michael Owen score 6 goals in 2 games for England and Alan Smith scoring 1 goal in 1 game, as England win 3-1 and 4-0 over Israel and Russia respectivaley. Loads of new staff changes and we have taken training up a notch as I now aim for a top 6 position and for Europe next year!
Onto the match or matchday, and by god were we favourites. People weren't wondering who would win but maybe how many we would score! I knew this couldn't be all good as it could make the players too big headed and they might become complacent. Although I did have a quick word with Obafemi Martins before the game and I told him to play like he has been and to get an early goal. And boy did he do that. A nice start to the game was capped by his goal in the 11th minute as a Geremi long throw was taken through the defence by Obafemi as it slots it home past the outrushing keeper. 1-0 and a great start. then another goal comes shortly after as in the 23rd minute Torje gets his head to a high cross by Sepsi as the two young Romanians work together to get another goal for the Toon. Now cue the old Newcastle as we make lots of defending mistakes and play utter rubbish until half time. "Don't Be Complacent!" I said, quite angrily I must admit. Anyway they seemed to of listened as they started defending very well until Davies hit a wonderful corner for them which Bouazza nodded in to take it back to 2-1. Now I was getting annoyed and wanted to sure it up so I brought on Margaritescu and from then on we defended very well with him not having that good a game but giving everyone back up when needed, in other words confidence. Well in the 90th minute we got hte 3rd goal and sealed the game with Obafemi Martins getting another goal with his head from Geremi's corner, and that marks Geremi's second assist to Martins today. Not an amazing win by any stretch of the imagination but at least we banged them in at one end and kept a few out at the other. Martins now has 8 goals in 6 games in the league.
Elsewhere Liverpool continued their somewhat bad form(excluding last weeks 4-0 win) to slump against Arsenal whilst Derby picked up a surprising draw away at West Ham. AND SUNDERLAND LOST 4-0 AT HOME!
Fulham 1 - 3 Newcastle
Martins 11,90
Torje 23
Given - 8
Geremi - 8
Enrique - 7
Radoi(c) - 8
Taylor - 7
Torje - 7
Sepsi - 8
Butt - 7
Emre - 7
Owen - 7
Martins - 9
Harper - Unused Sub
Smith - 7
Margaritescu - 6
Beye - Unused Sub
Viduka - 6
Round The Grounds
Aresnal 2 - 0 Liverpool
Aston Villa 0 - 0 Bolton
Fulham 1 - 3 Newcastle
Midlesborough 0 - 2 Portsmouth
Reading 1 - 1 Blackburn
Sunderland 0 - 4 Man Utd
West Ham 1 - 1 Derby
Wigan 1 - 2 Chelsea
w3lshrugby
Panel of Selectors
You are on fire...keep this going and you might, dare I say it, win something :s
zammipspman
School Cricketer
Has any one noteced that Newcastle are doing very well(It's Rare).Good posts Jaz,But will they ever stop wining. 
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Sunday 23rd February
Well after a poor win in the last game, we trained hard in training with the new staff not letting them get away with naything and we can See the effects already. Although It seems we may be losing a little bit of money this month but if we can keep selling out then we should come even or make a profit. So our next few games will be cruial in more than one way.
Hard game today, Aston Villa at St.James' and with the early result of Liverpool 1 - 0 Mancheter United we could increase our lead, with only Chelsea a few points behind us. We had to capitalize! We knew they had no pace at the back and we had to try and make sure they didn't get the bal up to the strikers. We had the worst of starts though with Young England startlet Luke Moore connexting to Rigga's cross and burying it past Shay Given who had no chance. 22 minutes gone and we were losing, not good. We did salvage a goal just before half time though with Michael Owen getting to Martins' through ball before the defenders and slotting home, but we weren't amazing in the half. 1-1 at half time, but there were 4 more to come in the second half. First one went to us as Obafemi Martins, who is in cracking form, got onto Emre's chipped through ball and slid it under the keepers legs to give us the lead, which in honesty we just deserved. Again they scored though after 61 minutes, another young England player Gabriel Agbonlahor took on 3 players and hit it hard into the bottom corner. Now there is potential! 2 more goals came in the match but what way did they go? We took the lead to 3-2 again 6 minutes later as Martins hit a blaster straight at the keeper who fumbled hit straight back into Obafemi's path and he doesn't miss those. The last goal... went to us! In the 95th minute(second time this season) Obafemi Martins connected to Milner's cross and secured us yet another victory! It also completed his hat-trick which he celebrated in style, Nice flip Oba!
As you know Man Utd lost but Chelsea didn't play today as they play at home to Reading tomrow in which should be an easy enconuter for the Blues, hopefully Reading can put up a fight though! Unfortunatley Sunderland managed a point, but stay bottom. More importantly Obafemi Martins now has 11 league goals in 7 league games(12 in 8 in all comps).
Newcastle 4 - 2 Aston Villa
Owen 40
Martins 44,68,90+5
Given - 8
Geremi - 6
Enrique - 7
Radoi(c) - 8
Taylor - 7
Torje - 8
Emre - 8
Barton - 6
Butt - 7
Owen - 8
Martins - 9
Harper - Unused Sub
Smith - 6
Milner - 7
Beye - 7
Viduka - Unused Sub
Round The Grounds
Birmingham 1 - 2 Wigan
Liverpool 1 - 0 Man Utd
Man City 1 - 1 Sunderland
Newcastle 4 - 2 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 2 - 1 West Ham
Well after a poor win in the last game, we trained hard in training with the new staff not letting them get away with naything and we can See the effects already. Although It seems we may be losing a little bit of money this month but if we can keep selling out then we should come even or make a profit. So our next few games will be cruial in more than one way.
Hard game today, Aston Villa at St.James' and with the early result of Liverpool 1 - 0 Mancheter United we could increase our lead, with only Chelsea a few points behind us. We had to capitalize! We knew they had no pace at the back and we had to try and make sure they didn't get the bal up to the strikers. We had the worst of starts though with Young England startlet Luke Moore connexting to Rigga's cross and burying it past Shay Given who had no chance. 22 minutes gone and we were losing, not good. We did salvage a goal just before half time though with Michael Owen getting to Martins' through ball before the defenders and slotting home, but we weren't amazing in the half. 1-1 at half time, but there were 4 more to come in the second half. First one went to us as Obafemi Martins, who is in cracking form, got onto Emre's chipped through ball and slid it under the keepers legs to give us the lead, which in honesty we just deserved. Again they scored though after 61 minutes, another young England player Gabriel Agbonlahor took on 3 players and hit it hard into the bottom corner. Now there is potential! 2 more goals came in the match but what way did they go? We took the lead to 3-2 again 6 minutes later as Martins hit a blaster straight at the keeper who fumbled hit straight back into Obafemi's path and he doesn't miss those. The last goal... went to us! In the 95th minute(second time this season) Obafemi Martins connected to Milner's cross and secured us yet another victory! It also completed his hat-trick which he celebrated in style, Nice flip Oba!
As you know Man Utd lost but Chelsea didn't play today as they play at home to Reading tomrow in which should be an easy enconuter for the Blues, hopefully Reading can put up a fight though! Unfortunatley Sunderland managed a point, but stay bottom. More importantly Obafemi Martins now has 11 league goals in 7 league games(12 in 8 in all comps).
Newcastle 4 - 2 Aston Villa
Owen 40
Martins 44,68,90+5
Given - 8
Geremi - 6
Enrique - 7
Radoi(c) - 8
Taylor - 7
Torje - 8
Emre - 8
Barton - 6
Butt - 7
Owen - 8
Martins - 9
Harper - Unused Sub
Smith - 6
Milner - 7
Beye - 7
Viduka - Unused Sub
Round The Grounds
Birmingham 1 - 2 Wigan
Liverpool 1 - 0 Man Utd
Man City 1 - 1 Sunderland
Newcastle 4 - 2 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 2 - 1 West Ham
