Blonde Jokes

[Jaztheman]

A blonde buys two horses and she can't tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse's tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can't tell them apart again.

She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence.

She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.

She comes back and says, "The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!"

lmao i love blondes

 

[BigCrickNan]

So we are having a joke contest then?

It's christmas eve and a depressed Australia Cricket Fan walks into a Melbourne supermarket to buy christmas dinner. After watching his team being beaten by England in the CB series, hammered by New Zealand in the CH trophy and watching England in disgust at them winning the world cup, and just wants the year to end. After half an hour searching for ingredients, he asks the shop worker a question. "Ian, you know where I can get stuffing?" "Err...boxing day, 11am just up the road".

Crap but well meaning imo .

 

[Jaztheman]

just got it funny shall i rename the title competition thread but in the meantime another joke:

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars. So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks him, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars. Then the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars

 

[Cowburn199]

Haha nice jokes

 

[Cricketman]

just got it funny shall i rename the title competition thread but in the meantime another joke:

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to, she would have to pay him five dollars; And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to, the lawyer had to pay the blonde 50 dollars. So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks him, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 50 dollars. Then the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars

:laugh :laugh :laugh
Thats hilarious.

 

[symonds_sixes]

2 blones decide to jump off a building to see who lands first. The first one lands then 10 minutes later the second one lands and the first one says "What took you so long?" and the second one says "I had to stop and ask for directions"

 

[siddharth2002]

lol, good ones, Blondes never fail to impress.

 

[Jaztheman]

just thought of a great one, and to make it a blonde joke the wife is blonde

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.
So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?''

And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''

Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.''

Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''

Joe says, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''

 

[Will_NA]

Blondes are dumb and easy

 

[plympilgrim]

thats some great ones jaz, keep em up

 

[Deleted member 13648]

This just happens to be the best blonde joke in the history of blonde jokes;

http://bgeiger.net/weblog/archives/2005/11/12/best-blonde-joke-ever/

 

[siddharth2002]

Old School but made me follow couple of links

 

[shravi]

Could somebody just copy-paste the joke in this thread? I got lost trying to find it with all those links. Or was that the joke :confused:?

 

[Gilly Fan]

You have to follow the links to get there.