m_vaughan
Chairman of Selectors
I say refuse it and join the Mafia.
Gus' Advantages; Southend Boss
- Thread starter Jaztheman
- Start date
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
I pondered many a thought for the next few minutes. What would my closest relatives and friends of wanted? No doubt they would of advised me to take any chance that comes your way; grasp it with both your hands. I tried to make an imaginary list in my head, of the positives and negatives. I listed umpteen positives but struggled to name half as many negatives. My choice had been made.
"I would like to graciously accept your offer."
"Great. We can discuss your contract and other little goodies tomorrow at Roots Hall. I'm sure all the lads already know you, and will listen to every syllable you produce."
"That would be good."
"Oh and don't worry about the media. I've got that handled. Heck, there's an article on BBC going to be put up on the Internet in a few minutes."
"How did you know I was going to accept?"
"A mere hypothesis."
I started at Ron, wondering If I would ever get a chance to know what was going on in that head of his. He had predetermined my answer would be in favour of taking the job. He is very mysterious and looks like the kind of character that keeps themselve to themselve. An intimidating figure for sure, certainly intimidating those in lower ranks than him. Which included me now, I guess. How lovely.
"You may now leave. I will send you an e-mail tomorrow morning disclosing what time we will meet at Roots Hall."
"Okay. My e-mail is Gus..."
"I've already got your e-mail, my friend."
My face went blank; this guy seriously did his homework. And with that, I turned towards the earlier safety door and made my way out of the house. As I exited the house through the front door, the door was slammed shut, only mini seconds after my back foot had trudged through the door. It is like some kind of secret society, that highly values their priorities and objectives. I was scared of what expectations Ron would enlist to me and what would happen if I failed.
I made my way back down the narrow path, accompanied by the same spine tingling grass, overlooking the whole dwelling. I opened the creaking gate, making sure to close it behind me. Don't want to upset the boss before even signing the contract! It was late now, around half ten I would say. The lights in the houses had flickered out and the road had stood to a standstill. There was no life; no fun. It is Saturday night of course; notorious for it's adventurous binge drinkers and fun seekers but not tonight.
The path I decided to take back to my Flat was searching for some new company; screaming out for some attention. It looked deserted and as if no-one had walked through it for quite a while now. It was late and I wanted to get home as soon as possible; this was the quickest way. I embarked on my hike down the shortcut when I heard footsteps behind me. A petrifying thought, indeed, but a thought that had emerged in my mind straight away; was I being followed?!
"I would like to graciously accept your offer."
"Great. We can discuss your contract and other little goodies tomorrow at Roots Hall. I'm sure all the lads already know you, and will listen to every syllable you produce."
"That would be good."
"Oh and don't worry about the media. I've got that handled. Heck, there's an article on BBC going to be put up on the Internet in a few minutes."
"How did you know I was going to accept?"
"A mere hypothesis."
I started at Ron, wondering If I would ever get a chance to know what was going on in that head of his. He had predetermined my answer would be in favour of taking the job. He is very mysterious and looks like the kind of character that keeps themselve to themselve. An intimidating figure for sure, certainly intimidating those in lower ranks than him. Which included me now, I guess. How lovely.
"You may now leave. I will send you an e-mail tomorrow morning disclosing what time we will meet at Roots Hall."
"Okay. My e-mail is Gus..."
"I've already got your e-mail, my friend."
My face went blank; this guy seriously did his homework. And with that, I turned towards the earlier safety door and made my way out of the house. As I exited the house through the front door, the door was slammed shut, only mini seconds after my back foot had trudged through the door. It is like some kind of secret society, that highly values their priorities and objectives. I was scared of what expectations Ron would enlist to me and what would happen if I failed.
I made my way back down the narrow path, accompanied by the same spine tingling grass, overlooking the whole dwelling. I opened the creaking gate, making sure to close it behind me. Don't want to upset the boss before even signing the contract! It was late now, around half ten I would say. The lights in the houses had flickered out and the road had stood to a standstill. There was no life; no fun. It is Saturday night of course; notorious for it's adventurous binge drinkers and fun seekers but not tonight.
The path I decided to take back to my Flat was searching for some new company; screaming out for some attention. It looked deserted and as if no-one had walked through it for quite a while now. It was late and I wanted to get home as soon as possible; this was the quickest way. I embarked on my hike down the shortcut when I heard footsteps behind me. A petrifying thought, indeed, but a thought that had emerged in my mind straight away; was I being followed?!
treva
ICC Chairman
Dun, dun, dun! Could you fit anymore suspense in your opening few updates? 
Good to see you take the Southend job, they are a good side.
Good to see you take the Southend job, they are a good side.
mattfb
Chairman of Selectors
It's probably a bunch of Southend fans coming to worship you after they read the BBC article
Great writing mate, good to see you took the job. Fantastic work so far. kiu!
Great writing mate, good to see you took the job. Fantastic work so far. kiu!
m_vaughan
Chairman of Selectors
So you ditched the mafia idea. Your life is at stake now
shefellover93
Club Cricketer
Indeed, might be Jaz's longest ever story. We'll never play a football match!!
KUTGW Jaz (By W I mean writing)
KUTGW Jaz (By W I mean writing)
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
I carried on walking, increasing my pace with every stride, whilst having a battle in mind my mind; trying to convince myself no-one was following me. Despite moving more swiftly, I still heard footsteps behind me. All of a sudden, I heard a branch get stood on. A shiver occurred down my spine; freezing me to the very spot. No sounds. It went silent.
"Oright mate! Turn round slowly or I'll bust a cap in your ass..."
The sound of voice was not one that I recognise; but I could categorize it. Chav. One of the most distinctive, yet threatening, voices in the world. Many of them are purely 'givits', as they would say, and don't follow up on their threats. However, I didn't really feel like tonight was the night of talking back and testing them. I'll stand up to them another night. I did as he said, turning slowly until I faced him. Although it wasn't just him. There was seven of them. Not only did they have the number advantage, they had a weapon advantage.
"Empty all your pockets. Don't try and run away either, as you won't have another chance to fill your pockets!"
What a terrible insult; scum of the earth. I scanned them, individually. I could probably take on about two of the chavs, but they had some enormous guys. Guys that could crush me with their fists. And I was their prey. They would devour me in seconds and leave me out to dry. I had no way out; I was caught. As caught as a criminal in the act. They must of taken my observation of them as hesitation and applied more pressure.
"Don't test our patience, mate. We're solid. Hench as... a Hench person!"
"Ha, good one, mate!"
"Classic!"
They proceeded to laugh, as if proud to be led by this... tosspot. He was a scrawny individual, lacking any physical strength whatsoever. I was tempted to spear him to the ground; rugby style. I evaluated what would happen afterwards i.e. me getting beaten up. Worth it just to cause him pain? Perhaps. Saying that he had a massive gun, that looked loaded to the full. He wasn't the only one that seemed to be armed.
Silence soon filled the shortcut once more, their laughing ceased. One of the intimidating chavs pulled back some of his jumper, revealing a gun.
"He said now! Didn't you hear him?!"
Safe to say, by now I had shat a brick. Not only a brick, I had also created enough liquid to be used as cement. I put both my hands in my pockets and was just about to take out my phone and wallet, when a piercing sound came in the direction of the chavs. At first I couldn't determine what the sound was but after about a second, it was apparent. A gun had been fired...
But not in the direction of me! The ringleader of the circus was clutching on to his lead and he let go for a split second, allowing me to see a glimpse of the injury. Blood was pouring everywhere, but who had shot him? I was getting freaked out... Bang! Bang! Bang! Three more shots! Three more of them were now down, four still standing. I looked around and saw four men on either rooftop beside the alleyway, with four men over the shoulders of the chavs. 12 men in total.
"Proceed to drop your weapons... and get the hell out of this neighbourhood!"
The standing scum dropped their weapons, turned and ran as fast as they could. Their motor was turned to the max; and it was their turn to excrete themselves. The ringleader and three others were still crawling around on the floor, but were trying their best to get away. I looked back at my saviours on the rooftops and noticed the same suit as the people I saw back in the house; these were Ron Martin's men. I was as safe as ever!
After finding a new found confidence, knowing that I wasn't going to get hurt, I strolled over to the leader of their gang, who was grimacing in pain. It was a beautiful sight. Innocent people all over the world get hurt, with the deserving people getting anyway with everything; not feeling much pain. But finally, pain had caught up with him and won the race. I was a few feet from him now and looked deep into his eyes. All I could see was fear. I grinned, real wide. Then kicked the life out of him.
"Son of a bitc..."
"Oright mate! Turn round slowly or I'll bust a cap in your ass..."
The sound of voice was not one that I recognise; but I could categorize it. Chav. One of the most distinctive, yet threatening, voices in the world. Many of them are purely 'givits', as they would say, and don't follow up on their threats. However, I didn't really feel like tonight was the night of talking back and testing them. I'll stand up to them another night. I did as he said, turning slowly until I faced him. Although it wasn't just him. There was seven of them. Not only did they have the number advantage, they had a weapon advantage.
"Empty all your pockets. Don't try and run away either, as you won't have another chance to fill your pockets!"
What a terrible insult; scum of the earth. I scanned them, individually. I could probably take on about two of the chavs, but they had some enormous guys. Guys that could crush me with their fists. And I was their prey. They would devour me in seconds and leave me out to dry. I had no way out; I was caught. As caught as a criminal in the act. They must of taken my observation of them as hesitation and applied more pressure.
"Don't test our patience, mate. We're solid. Hench as... a Hench person!"
"Ha, good one, mate!"
"Classic!"
They proceeded to laugh, as if proud to be led by this... tosspot. He was a scrawny individual, lacking any physical strength whatsoever. I was tempted to spear him to the ground; rugby style. I evaluated what would happen afterwards i.e. me getting beaten up. Worth it just to cause him pain? Perhaps. Saying that he had a massive gun, that looked loaded to the full. He wasn't the only one that seemed to be armed.
Silence soon filled the shortcut once more, their laughing ceased. One of the intimidating chavs pulled back some of his jumper, revealing a gun.
"He said now! Didn't you hear him?!"
Safe to say, by now I had shat a brick. Not only a brick, I had also created enough liquid to be used as cement. I put both my hands in my pockets and was just about to take out my phone and wallet, when a piercing sound came in the direction of the chavs. At first I couldn't determine what the sound was but after about a second, it was apparent. A gun had been fired...
But not in the direction of me! The ringleader of the circus was clutching on to his lead and he let go for a split second, allowing me to see a glimpse of the injury. Blood was pouring everywhere, but who had shot him? I was getting freaked out... Bang! Bang! Bang! Three more shots! Three more of them were now down, four still standing. I looked around and saw four men on either rooftop beside the alleyway, with four men over the shoulders of the chavs. 12 men in total.
"Proceed to drop your weapons... and get the hell out of this neighbourhood!"
The standing scum dropped their weapons, turned and ran as fast as they could. Their motor was turned to the max; and it was their turn to excrete themselves. The ringleader and three others were still crawling around on the floor, but were trying their best to get away. I looked back at my saviours on the rooftops and noticed the same suit as the people I saw back in the house; these were Ron Martin's men. I was as safe as ever!
After finding a new found confidence, knowing that I wasn't going to get hurt, I strolled over to the leader of their gang, who was grimacing in pain. It was a beautiful sight. Innocent people all over the world get hurt, with the deserving people getting anyway with everything; not feeling much pain. But finally, pain had caught up with him and won the race. I was a few feet from him now and looked deep into his eyes. All I could see was fear. I grinned, real wide. Then kicked the life out of him.
"Son of a bitc..."
treva
ICC Chairman
Great update James. Don't you just love a bit of urban warfare
shantanu_rooney
Chairman of Selectors
Yeah Southend are a decent side remembering them knock out United in the Carling Cup i suppose some seasons ago. So hopefully you would bring them back in the championship.
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
Southend? They're a decent enough side I guess
Great update James. Don't you just love a bit of urban warfare
Aye, they are a decent side, saladguy.
Yep they beat United two years ago I think and drew against Chelsea this year. T'will be good to be back in the Championship.
Oh and Jack, there's nothing quite like it.
Cheers for the comments, lads.
mattfb
Chairman of Selectors
Lol, so Ron Martin now has a gang that follows and protects you. I have a feeling this story is going to be a cross of football and mafia.
Great writing jaz, kiu!
Great writing jaz, kiu!
Jaztheman
Chairman of Selectors
After disclosing my thanks and appreciation to my saviours, I continued my rendezvous home. Thankfully for me, there were no more chavs hanging around the streets... which is actually lucky for them! The only thing that remotely scared me on my walk home, was a badger which chased me for about 100 yards. I've heard they are carnivores and devour your flesh in seconds. I may of heard that when I was six years old from a friend but come on!
I arrived back at the place I reluctantly call home. I ran swiftly over to my computer to go onto the BBC website; to see if what Ron said was true. Whilst the computer was loading up I had images of Southend winning the league, myself getting manager of the year... then the computer loaded up and I had an image of Alina Vacariu. Oh, what a stunner! She definitely deserves to be on my wallpaper.
However, I resisted the temptation to stare at my future wife and continued to turn on the Internet. I had BBC Football on my speed dial, to save time and effort, as that is one of the only websites I really use. I clicked on the correct speed dial number and felt my hands shaking anxiously. My heart was beating uncontrollably in my chest, anticipation rattled down my body. Upon opening the web page I scrolled down and saw an article named "Southend Pick Poyet", which I simultaneously clicked.
I love how these Journalists know how long my contract is, despite me not even have discussed a contract yet! I was still in shock from the nights proceedings and thought it was definitely time for me to catch some sleep. It was 5 past midnight and I was expecting an early e-mail from Ron Martin. One night has changed my life; one night has saved my life.
I arrived back at the place I reluctantly call home. I ran swiftly over to my computer to go onto the BBC website; to see if what Ron said was true. Whilst the computer was loading up I had images of Southend winning the league, myself getting manager of the year... then the computer loaded up and I had an image of Alina Vacariu. Oh, what a stunner! She definitely deserves to be on my wallpaper.
However, I resisted the temptation to stare at my future wife and continued to turn on the Internet. I had BBC Football on my speed dial, to save time and effort, as that is one of the only websites I really use. I clicked on the correct speed dial number and felt my hands shaking anxiously. My heart was beating uncontrollably in my chest, anticipation rattled down my body. Upon opening the web page I scrolled down and saw an article named "Southend Pick Poyet", which I simultaneously clicked.
Page last updated at 22:54 GMT, Saturday, 30 June 2007 22:03 UK
Poyet Appointed Southend Boss
Gustavo Poyet has reportedly signed a two-year deal to become the new manager of Southend United, replacing Steve Tilson who was sacked a few hours earlier. Poyet, 39, was appointed the manager of Southend United just moments ago in a secret place in Southend. This will be his first managerial job since being the assistant manager of Leeds United last season, when they went into administration.
Gus Poyet played for numerous high end teams playing at the pinnacle of the sport such as Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur, becoming a legend among the fans. His wit and charm, plus on field presence, was a beauty to watch for his fans. He then took dabbed his hand at management, by trying out at Swindon Town first with Ex-Chelsea team mate.
They didn't last long at Swindon, losing only four matches of their 17 as management duo as they received a better offer at Leeds United. They duly accepted, but unfortunately for them, luck would be against them all season. Leeds United were relegated due to administration and were docked 10 points. That was not the only sour apple of the season, as Leeds United going into administration means they will start this season with -15 points.
Gus Poyet has certainly made his mark on Leeds United but Southend supporters will be hoping he can make a different difference to their team. Southend United FC are reportedly making a press release tomorrow afternoon which will answer the technicalities of Gus Poyet taking the job. Southend United will surely, never be the same.
I love how these Journalists know how long my contract is, despite me not even have discussed a contract yet! I was still in shock from the nights proceedings and thought it was definitely time for me to catch some sleep. It was 5 past midnight and I was expecting an early e-mail from Ron Martin. One night has changed my life; one night has saved my life.
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