Questionnaire.

[King Pietersen]

Hang on, I offer far more than sledging. I offer general sexyness, plus the uncanny ability to impersonate KP. I'm slowly learning how to replicate his offside shots, standing tall and smashing it through cover, and I'm already better than KP straight down the ground, so it's just a matter of improving my leg-side play now Forget Manoj Tiwary, I'm going to be the real KP Replica!

As for the face tattoo, send us the money and I'll get it done

 

[Highlander999]

Hang on, I offer far more than sledging. I offer general sexyness, plus the uncanny ability to impersonate KP. I'm slowly learning how to replicate his offside shots, standing tall and smashing it through cover, and I'm already better than KP straight down the ground, so it's just a matter of improving my leg-side play now Forget Manoj Tiwary, I'm going to be the real KP Replica!

As for the face tattoo, send us the money and I'll get it done

Half before and half after?

Anyway I mis-read your first sentence and thought you said you have learnt the ability to impregnate KP, which I was going to be quite impressed with I say if the IPL comes to England we get Yuvraj to bowl to you for a bit and you can tonk him around Lords for a bit

 

[King Pietersen]

Lol, if only I could impregnate KP

Sounds like a good plan to me. Maybe KP could watch me give him a smack and get a few tips on how it's done. He's certainly struggling with left-arm trash bowlers, so I'll just give him a masterclass, Mascheranas style.....but better.

Ok, it'll probably cost about a grand, so send us ?500 in the post, and I'll get it done

 

[Highlander999]

This'll do?

King Pietersen
3 Lions on the Street
Suffolk
East Anglia

KP15 G0D

 

[King Pietersen]

How did you get my address? Stalkerrrr!!!!

Yeh, that should do fine. Just whack the monkey in the bag and ship it over, and I'll get the tattoo done. You may need to send abit more money though, as I want it done well, so am going to go to LA to get the portrait done by Kat Von D. So if you could whack a plane ticket in with it that'd be dandy.

 

[Highlander999]

Ok, will do

 

[Leggie]

1 What is your favorite word? - Prick/Dick
2 What is your least favorite word? - Knob
3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? - Music (AR Rahman)
4 What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? - Terrorism
5 What sound or noise do you love? - Stumps being dismantled
6 What sound or noise do you hate? - Scousers talking
7 What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? - Journalist, Engineer
8 What profession would you not like to attempt - Teaching
9 If heaven exists, what would you like to hear the higher power say when you arrive at the pearly gates? - Enjoy

 

[Will_NA]

1 What is your favorite word? - Knobjockey
2 What is your least favorite word? - Please?
3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? - Fun. Fun's all you need.
4 What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? - Murderers, terrorists, child-beaters, etc
5 What sound or noise do you love? - The sound of water dripping or being poured. Don't love it but couldn't think of anything else. I guess the sound I'll truly love is 'Come back to bed'
6 What sound or noise do you hate? - Nails on a chalkboard and stuff that sounds like it.
7 What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? - Footballer
8 What profession would you not like to attempt - Cleaning out the **** booths in the Red Light District
9 If heaven exists, what would you like to hear the higher power say when you arrive at the pearly gates? - 'You been assigned to washing the female models'

 

[Leicester Fox]

1 What is your favorite word? *Mod Edit* Language, Joe
2 What is your least favorite word? disallowed
3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Football
4 What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Liverpool
5 What sound or noise do you love? the calypso
6 What sound or noise do you hate? People arguing. Can't take it.
7 What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? I wouldn't mind being a Jack Bauer, whatever it is he does.
8 What profession would you not like to attempt? Dog walker.
9 If heaven exists, what would you like to hear the higher power say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Buddha has done his hamstring you're playing up front with Eric.

 

[mattfb]

1 What is your favorite word? vee (As in Red Vee [Stgeorge Dragons wear the red v])
2 What is your least favorite word? yo
3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Music
4 What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Bad smells
5 What sound or noise do you love? Airplanes as they fly over
6 What sound or noise do you hate? Someone hitting their teeth together etc or biting something like a pen and it sounds like there teeth are ripping apart or whatever lol. It's gross.
7 What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? Pilot
8 What profession would you not like to attempt? Wrestler
9 If heaven exists, what would you like to hear the higher power say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Jessica Alba has been waiting for you...

 

[King Cricket]

1 What is your favorite word? Fight
2 What is your least favorite word? Underestimate
3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? A good book
4 What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Seeing Rohit Sharma getting picked again and again for the Indian team.
5 What sound or noise do you love? The background sound played at the very end of "Slumdog Millioniare"
6 What sound or noise do you hate? Zoozing of the mosquitoes.
7 What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I'm still a school-boy.
8 What profession would you not like to attempt? Being a politician
9 If heaven exists, what would you like to hear the higher power say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Nah, Yuvraj Singh is better than KP

 

[ZoraxDoom]

1 What is your favorite word? Finisher...don't know why.
2 What is your least favorite word? I quit.
3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The future, dreaming of what is possible, what I can do, what I would like to achieve.
4 What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? People quitting, giving up, trying to make others fail.
5 What sound or noise do you love? Sound of bat on ball, sounds babies make.
6 What sound or noise do you hate? Screaming
7 What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? Sportsperson, athlete, entertatiner.
8 What profession would you not like to attempt - Prison Guard, anyone who causes pain.
9 If heaven exists, what would you like to hear the higher power say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Job well done.

 

[jordox]

3 What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The future, dreaming of what is possible, what I can do, what I would like to achieve.

That's a really, really nice answer.