C Boomer's Cricket Poetry.
- Thread starter C Boomer
- Start date
C Boomer
Club Captain
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
The Catch !
A 'senior' bachelor bowler at our club, once failed to see the error of his ways and wondered out loud as to why he was going wicketless for around 15 per over, every game?
When I suggested he get himself down to Monday evening net practice for once in his life and sort out his line & length problems, he briskly retorted; " If I were to do that my evening dishes would not get washed until Tuesday evening"!
You couldn't make it up...Could you ? Though all these years later, perhaps such absurd profanity was not lost on me........
The Catch !
Standing lonesome and pitiful,
far out by the boundary rope
the day was really beginning to drag
and I was fast losing hope,
I'd failed again with the bat,
yet another calamity
and now I'm watching fluffy clouds pass by,
oh dear, woe is me!
Why did I not invent a paltry excuse,
call or send a text
informing him I could not play,
even though he would be vexed?
Like my second cousin once removed is visiting,
or the cat's not well
but our skipper is a shrewd old bird
and a rat he'd easily smell!
Now don't take me wrong or get confused,
I do enjoy the game
but lately I have been faltering and really,
I've only myself to blame,
as despite his protestations,
I think weekly practice on the whole
is boring so I don?t attend,
that's probably why I never get on to bowl!
Goodness gracious a wicket down,
Geeves has got one to nip back
not a bad effort I suppose,
though perhaps it hit a crack?
My o my he's done it again,
their big hitter has played all around
and now he's taking the long walk,
returning to the visitor?s compound!
But it won't make any difference,
they'll easily overtake our score
although the skipper and young Endicott,
battled as if they were in a war,
they got us to some sort of total,
though hard for me to observe
gee-whiz the skippers bowled his counterpart,
boy, he's got some nerve!
Despite these minor triumphs,
their joviality is mere parole
as this alacrity won't last long,
old Tobias is on to bowl,
I know the old duffer enjoys his cricket,
but it really is a joke
he's getting on in years though I admit,
still a sprightly bloke!
Panic must be setting in a dolly missed,
the ball hits middle stump
then another LBW, two run outs, a stumping,
old Tobias has got the hump,
but they only need a few to win then I'll get home,
ending this servitude
Ah a mighty whack, now that ball is travelling like a rocket,
gaining altitude!
But what goes up must come down,
is more than a clich?
though and behold that leather cherry,
is now fast falling my way,
as I watch it descend,
an ethereal transition overcomes my mind
time slows up and within those elongated seconds,
no longer am I blind!
Like a soothsayer I clearly see my teammates,
through an inward eye
my skipper's fortitude, leading by example
no team of his will 'Die'!
and there's Geeves and Endicott, neither born with silver spoon
a proud father and his son, straining every sinew,
each Saturday afternoon!
Finally I see Tobias, a decorated old soldier,
who knew much worldly strife
each week he looks forward to a game
now long since retired from army life,
then instantly this time portal disappears,
I?m back waiting for the catch
and as the ball lands firmly within my eager grasp,
I can't wait for next week?s match!
A 'senior' bachelor bowler at our club, once failed to see the error of his ways and wondered out loud as to why he was going wicketless for around 15 per over, every game?
When I suggested he get himself down to Monday evening net practice for once in his life and sort out his line & length problems, he briskly retorted; " If I were to do that my evening dishes would not get washed until Tuesday evening"!
You couldn't make it up...Could you ? Though all these years later, perhaps such absurd profanity was not lost on me........
The Catch !
Standing lonesome and pitiful,
far out by the boundary rope
the day was really beginning to drag
and I was fast losing hope,
I'd failed again with the bat,
yet another calamity
and now I'm watching fluffy clouds pass by,
oh dear, woe is me!
Why did I not invent a paltry excuse,
call or send a text
informing him I could not play,
even though he would be vexed?
Like my second cousin once removed is visiting,
or the cat's not well
but our skipper is a shrewd old bird
and a rat he'd easily smell!
Now don't take me wrong or get confused,
I do enjoy the game
but lately I have been faltering and really,
I've only myself to blame,
as despite his protestations,
I think weekly practice on the whole
is boring so I don?t attend,
that's probably why I never get on to bowl!
Goodness gracious a wicket down,
Geeves has got one to nip back
not a bad effort I suppose,
though perhaps it hit a crack?
My o my he's done it again,
their big hitter has played all around
and now he's taking the long walk,
returning to the visitor?s compound!
But it won't make any difference,
they'll easily overtake our score
although the skipper and young Endicott,
battled as if they were in a war,
they got us to some sort of total,
though hard for me to observe
gee-whiz the skippers bowled his counterpart,
boy, he's got some nerve!
Despite these minor triumphs,
their joviality is mere parole
as this alacrity won't last long,
old Tobias is on to bowl,
I know the old duffer enjoys his cricket,
but it really is a joke
he's getting on in years though I admit,
still a sprightly bloke!
Panic must be setting in a dolly missed,
the ball hits middle stump
then another LBW, two run outs, a stumping,
old Tobias has got the hump,
but they only need a few to win then I'll get home,
ending this servitude
Ah a mighty whack, now that ball is travelling like a rocket,
gaining altitude!
But what goes up must come down,
is more than a clich?
though and behold that leather cherry,
is now fast falling my way,
as I watch it descend,
an ethereal transition overcomes my mind
time slows up and within those elongated seconds,
no longer am I blind!
Like a soothsayer I clearly see my teammates,
through an inward eye
my skipper's fortitude, leading by example
no team of his will 'Die'!
and there's Geeves and Endicott, neither born with silver spoon
a proud father and his son, straining every sinew,
each Saturday afternoon!
Finally I see Tobias, a decorated old soldier,
who knew much worldly strife
each week he looks forward to a game
now long since retired from army life,
then instantly this time portal disappears,
I?m back waiting for the catch
and as the ball lands firmly within my eager grasp,
I can't wait for next week?s match!
Last edited:
GlitchInTheMatrix
ICC Board Member
You're doing really well! 
Samuels
Rally Round The West Indies
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2013
- Location
- Kingston, Jamaica
- Profile Flag
- West Indies
- Online Cricket Games Owned
-
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
I just gone through all your poems and I genuinely think you are doing a good job. You know you should listen to some nice old classic songs about from the likes of Tradewinds.
Check this out for example.
Check this out for example.
Last edited by a moderator:
C Boomer
Club Captain
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
(David Moyes look away now !) Everyone else enjoy..
A Successful Guide to Coaching !
Come hither, come hence,
ye mentors and coaches fine
to hear my tale,
philosophically sanguine
for if it's your desire,
the ladder of success to climb
then my request,
best not to decline!
A most eminent scholar
once did opine,
show me the boy
between seven yrs and nine,
and I?ll show you the man,
his party line
begin as you mean to go on,
the inferred incline!
Now it is incumbent upon you
to take the time,
and teach your underlings
to never be supine,
fight like a lion
that peerless feline,
and if convinced like a star,
for you they will shine!
But before embarking on a voyage
destined to be divine,
beware the perils of fame
and gluttonous swine,
who proffer much money
if for their club you'll sign,
For a wolf in sheep's clothing,
is a loathsome, lamentable, lupine!
Keep your love for the game
wholesome and genuine,
then no player under your wing
can have reason to whine,
as high moral integrity
gives none cause to repine,
so keep these ideals in mind
and your career will mature like rare, vintage wine!
A Successful Guide to Coaching !
Come hither, come hence,
ye mentors and coaches fine
to hear my tale,
philosophically sanguine
for if it's your desire,
the ladder of success to climb
then my request,
best not to decline!
A most eminent scholar
once did opine,
show me the boy
between seven yrs and nine,
and I?ll show you the man,
his party line
begin as you mean to go on,
the inferred incline!
Now it is incumbent upon you
to take the time,
and teach your underlings
to never be supine,
fight like a lion
that peerless feline,
and if convinced like a star,
for you they will shine!
But before embarking on a voyage
destined to be divine,
beware the perils of fame
and gluttonous swine,
who proffer much money
if for their club you'll sign,
For a wolf in sheep's clothing,
is a loathsome, lamentable, lupine!
Keep your love for the game
wholesome and genuine,
then no player under your wing
can have reason to whine,
as high moral integrity
gives none cause to repine,
so keep these ideals in mind
and your career will mature like rare, vintage wine!
Last edited:
C Boomer
Club Captain
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
This fine feathered fellow sure had spirit by the bucketload..
Rooster Cogburn !
Cherished dearly are my memories grand
of all the animals I've reared by hand,
there's been many down through the years
over those now gone, I have shed tears!
Cats, dogs, hamsters, fish within a pond
newts and tadpoles that there spawned,
with rabbits I?m also equally smitten
did you know a baby bunny, is known as a kitten?
But there was one magnificent creature
a gift I received from my science teacher,
that stood out tall and proud above the rest
as of his kind, he was simply the best!
He started life as a tiny yellow chick,
but I fed him well and he grew up quick,
in adulthood, an impressive, imposing sight,
with my big Sussex rooster, no one picked a fight!
For company, I bought him six laying hens
he needed no encouragement to make friends,
he built up a reputation for being bold and game
so I called him 'Cogburn' after John Wayne!
One night a fox stopped by the chicken coop
its clear intent to murder the sleeping troupe
but not a single feather was harmed on any bird's head,
as the very next morning I found that reynard, bloody and dead!
He once had trouble with a couple of rival foes
who charmed his lady hens, with amorous crows,
but old Cogburn by nature, a jealous bird
when he got wind of this, his wrath was incurred!
He approached those impostors with a dropped wing
his unique war dance, a cockerel thing,
it ended quickly without fuss or pain
and a couple of would be suitors, ne'er crowed again!
One sunny afternoon he followed me all the way
to the cricket club, whereupon he rudely interrupted play
for he boldly strode out to middle and began to scratch,
frightening away all the players, so the umpires barred us from the match!
I once entered him into a country game fair
he won first prize the finest fowl on view there,
but I could not stay long to celebrate
as my rooster became frisky and fancied a date!
He broke out of his cage feeling perky
and unceremoniously mounted a terrified turkey,
so I rushed him back home, angry and moody
whereupon he took out his frustrations, on six hens, lewdly!
Now my old rooster has long since passed on
to a heavenly harem of hens, for cockrels with brawn,
but I?ll never forget him til the day that I die
for he put the gravel in my gut, the spit in my eye!
So always protect the honour of your woman
don't let her to be courted by an unscrupulous villain,
fight like a man to keep her virtue true,
look any foe in the eye before battle
then cry out loud; ? Cock-a-doodle-dooooooooooo?!
Rooster Cogburn !
Cherished dearly are my memories grand
of all the animals I've reared by hand,
there's been many down through the years
over those now gone, I have shed tears!
Cats, dogs, hamsters, fish within a pond
newts and tadpoles that there spawned,
with rabbits I?m also equally smitten
did you know a baby bunny, is known as a kitten?
But there was one magnificent creature
a gift I received from my science teacher,
that stood out tall and proud above the rest
as of his kind, he was simply the best!
He started life as a tiny yellow chick,
but I fed him well and he grew up quick,
in adulthood, an impressive, imposing sight,
with my big Sussex rooster, no one picked a fight!
For company, I bought him six laying hens
he needed no encouragement to make friends,
he built up a reputation for being bold and game
so I called him 'Cogburn' after John Wayne!
One night a fox stopped by the chicken coop
its clear intent to murder the sleeping troupe
but not a single feather was harmed on any bird's head,
as the very next morning I found that reynard, bloody and dead!
He once had trouble with a couple of rival foes
who charmed his lady hens, with amorous crows,
but old Cogburn by nature, a jealous bird
when he got wind of this, his wrath was incurred!
He approached those impostors with a dropped wing
his unique war dance, a cockerel thing,
it ended quickly without fuss or pain
and a couple of would be suitors, ne'er crowed again!
One sunny afternoon he followed me all the way
to the cricket club, whereupon he rudely interrupted play
for he boldly strode out to middle and began to scratch,
frightening away all the players, so the umpires barred us from the match!
I once entered him into a country game fair
he won first prize the finest fowl on view there,
but I could not stay long to celebrate
as my rooster became frisky and fancied a date!
He broke out of his cage feeling perky
and unceremoniously mounted a terrified turkey,
so I rushed him back home, angry and moody
whereupon he took out his frustrations, on six hens, lewdly!
Now my old rooster has long since passed on
to a heavenly harem of hens, for cockrels with brawn,
but I?ll never forget him til the day that I die
for he put the gravel in my gut, the spit in my eye!
So always protect the honour of your woman
don't let her to be courted by an unscrupulous villain,
fight like a man to keep her virtue true,
look any foe in the eye before battle
then cry out loud; ? Cock-a-doodle-dooooooooooo?!
Last edited:
C Boomer
Club Captain
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
The Lone Umpire !
The ideas for all my little stories are of course inspired by many cricket games/occurrences that one tends to be involved in as the seasons pass by from year to year and equally, the fascinating characters you meet along the way.
And with my latest piece of poetry there's no exception, very happy to report that both clubs alluded too therein, have since gone from strength to strength and the official gentleman who guessed the occasion with a surprise appearance, helped make the whole affair a very worthwhile exercise indeed; unaccompanied for this particular match but nevertheless, a colossus....
The Lone Umpire!
Mark this and mark it well,
for it was a fine, upstanding deed
he journeyed far to ring the bell,
so others may succeed!
?Twas with rumours rife of ill-health
a sporting constitution in decline
that some chose the sanctuary of wealth
rather than dig in and mark time!
But two cricket clubs of noted invention
each, from nearby boarding lands
knew cure was better than suspension
thus set about employing new hands!
They called a game, a friendly match
betwixt the other, by the factory ground
encouraging all to play, bat, bowl and catch
and to this venue, folk flocked from all around!
A problem then became apparent
organized chaos would ensue
but fears allayed by the arrival of a gent
dressed in a smart attire, of navy blue!
Proceedings quickly fell into place
those unsure, soon got it right
for he guided each with a smiling face
as they learned to joist, overseen by a noble knight!
Few are born with a midas touch
but all, deserve their chance
and the lone umpire knew as much
that?s why he took this forthright stance!
So if you find your club unmanned
don?t crouch and hide behind the door
negate with resources found at hand
then like the lone umpire, you will know; ?Esprit de corps?!
The ideas for all my little stories are of course inspired by many cricket games/occurrences that one tends to be involved in as the seasons pass by from year to year and equally, the fascinating characters you meet along the way.
And with my latest piece of poetry there's no exception, very happy to report that both clubs alluded too therein, have since gone from strength to strength and the official gentleman who guessed the occasion with a surprise appearance, helped make the whole affair a very worthwhile exercise indeed; unaccompanied for this particular match but nevertheless, a colossus....
The Lone Umpire!
Mark this and mark it well,
for it was a fine, upstanding deed
he journeyed far to ring the bell,
so others may succeed!
?Twas with rumours rife of ill-health
a sporting constitution in decline
that some chose the sanctuary of wealth
rather than dig in and mark time!
But two cricket clubs of noted invention
each, from nearby boarding lands
knew cure was better than suspension
thus set about employing new hands!
They called a game, a friendly match
betwixt the other, by the factory ground
encouraging all to play, bat, bowl and catch
and to this venue, folk flocked from all around!
A problem then became apparent
organized chaos would ensue
but fears allayed by the arrival of a gent
dressed in a smart attire, of navy blue!
Proceedings quickly fell into place
those unsure, soon got it right
for he guided each with a smiling face
as they learned to joist, overseen by a noble knight!
Few are born with a midas touch
but all, deserve their chance
and the lone umpire knew as much
that?s why he took this forthright stance!
So if you find your club unmanned
don?t crouch and hide behind the door
negate with resources found at hand
then like the lone umpire, you will know; ?Esprit de corps?!
Last edited:
C Boomer
Club Captain
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
Beware the Beast !
During these turbulent times we all reside and even with fast bowling, seems to me the cricket field is one of the more safer places to be on the planet !
Shun the tiger, silent and stealth
searching for its quarry,
stay indoors and mind your health
or you'll be very sorry!
Don't dip your toes, in the water cool
where the crocodile patiently waits,
for you will look like a silly fool
if swallowed whole, in front of all your mates!
Watch out for the wolf, on the prowl
when walking through a leafy wood,
run away, if you hear it's ghastly howl
don't be naive, like little red riding hood!
Heed the hyena's deceptive, comical laugh
for it prefers its meat, red and raw,
don't allow yourself to be chewed in half
by a powerful, bone crushing jaw!
If playing the fine, colonial game
in the land of mahout and elephant,
guard against the mosquito's toxic aim
and rebuff it with insect repellant!
Avoid the snake, sleeping in the grass
hiding out of sight,
keep on the path and don't trespass
or you'll receive a poisonous bite!
Step over the ant, small and placid
is my firm decree,
for it is armed with formic acid
just like a million loyal brothers, from its colony!
And beware the beast, trust the least,
a bloodthirsty creature known as man,
no rasping claws, fearsome jaws,
venomous bite, nor acidic might
but he may kill you... Just because he can!
:
During these turbulent times we all reside and even with fast bowling, seems to me the cricket field is one of the more safer places to be on the planet !
Shun the tiger, silent and stealth
searching for its quarry,
stay indoors and mind your health
or you'll be very sorry!
Don't dip your toes, in the water cool
where the crocodile patiently waits,
for you will look like a silly fool
if swallowed whole, in front of all your mates!
Watch out for the wolf, on the prowl
when walking through a leafy wood,
run away, if you hear it's ghastly howl
don't be naive, like little red riding hood!
Heed the hyena's deceptive, comical laugh
for it prefers its meat, red and raw,
don't allow yourself to be chewed in half
by a powerful, bone crushing jaw!
If playing the fine, colonial game
in the land of mahout and elephant,
guard against the mosquito's toxic aim
and rebuff it with insect repellant!
Avoid the snake, sleeping in the grass
hiding out of sight,
keep on the path and don't trespass
or you'll receive a poisonous bite!
Step over the ant, small and placid
is my firm decree,
for it is armed with formic acid
just like a million loyal brothers, from its colony!
And beware the beast, trust the least,
a bloodthirsty creature known as man,
no rasping claws, fearsome jaws,
venomous bite, nor acidic might
but he may kill you... Just because he can!
:
Last edited:
ParkedTheBus
International Coach
Lovely 
Wonder how you manage to churn out one after another like a machine.
Wonder how you manage to churn out one after another like a machine.
KrishnamurthiN
Club Captain
Awesome stuff Boomer C! Keep up the good work!! 
