Interview Thread March/April 2010 - hMarka answers your questions!

[drainpipe32]

Humprhey Marka of the USA (Texas tbh) finally gives us some insight to the man behind the screen.....

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Will you live all your life that god exists and die to find there's none OR Will you live all your life that there's no god (atheism) and die to find there's one?

Strictly one out of the two choices.

hMarka says: Only one way to find out and I am afraid I won't be able to tell you the answer then.

World Champions, Gazza, A feral cat, Ricky Ponting and a lion are all crossing the road when a massive 50x50m truck comes roaring at them. You have the chance to save one using some epic American skills. Who do you save?

hMarka says: None of them, I would setup a camera crew and sell the TV rights to Lalit Modi.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

hMarka says: Depends, if his name was Murali then he would chuck a crap-load.

Are you addicted to your PS3?

hMarka says: Afraid I was for a bit when AC09 came out, however that died after a few months due to the quitters and the horrible gameplay. MW2 got me back into gaming for a bit but the novelty worse off quickly. Recently purchased MLB10 and Bad Company2 but just can't seem to gather the interest to play them. I game in cycles, hardcore and then none at all. The game I have probably played the most in my life was on PC, Battlefield 2 (best game ever).

.
-Why you are too aggressive?
-In one word, Yuvi or Sachin?
-Who game you first infraction here?
-If you will get a chance to ban a mod/admin here, whom you would like to ban and why? (be honest)

Thanks!

hMarka says: a) Why don't you go flip yourself

b) Sachin duh

c) Either Sohum, Sureshot or Leggie in the Slumdog thread (for those who remember that :laugh)

d) Nightprowler, for suggesting that I love Glen Beck

If you can only live your whole life as either Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin, then who will you choose and why?

hMarka says: Even though Peter has the hotter wife I would choose Homer. At least one smart kid and a decent job and who wouldn’t want to hang out with Lenny and Carl? A talking alcoholic dog would drive me nuts not to mention a pedophile neighbor/New England so that rules Peter out.

If you are on a night out and someone offers to buy you a drink of your choice, with no worries about the expense, what would you get?

Also, do you prefer spirits over lagers and ales or vice versa?

hMarka says: a) Mexican Martini with Herradura Silver Tequila, bit of lime juice , lots of rocks and salt on the rim.

b) Guinness Stout, Stella, Dos Equis or St Augustine for me. Not big on liquor (spirits)

1) Chicken or Turkey?
2) Why did they cancel My Name Is Earl?

hMarka says: a) Chicken

b) It never had a large following, it had to air right before the Office and NBC is pretty much bankrupt.

Why do you worship Glen Beck?

hMarka says: Guilty pleasure of laughing at the mentally challegened.

How do you 'deal with' relatives or friends who are overly religious? You know the types - they go to Bible study twice a week and have religious signatures at the bottom of their emails about how God is great. What comments do you really feel like saying to them when they bring up God?

hMarka says: I live and let live. They have a right to believe what they want to and I respect that. I would never impose my beliefs on them or tell them what I feel about their views (that’s what the internet is for )

Do you think Sachin Tendulkar is God in disguise ?

hMarka says: God? No
Messiah? No
Anti-Christ? No
Man who hits ball with stick? Yes

Who is your true celebrity crush?

hMarka says: I’m assuming you are asking who I find attractive, in that case Keira Knightly

Are you hot? Have you ever eaten a crayon? Do you have a tan? What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

hMarka says: A ) For the last time Gazza, I don’t swing that way
b) Nope but I can imagine why kids do, some of the Crayola colors sound delicious
c) Its still the tail end of winter here.
d) Alcohol

Has Obama delivered on his promises in your opinion, is he doing a good job? Also, describe your favourite pair of socks and why you like them so much.

hMarka says: I think Obama got a raw deal to begin with. He took over at arguably the lowest point in American history post WWII. He was too caught up in delivering on the symbolic promises (closing Gitmo, withdrawing from Iraq) etc which are not practical and are now coming back to bite him on the ass. The Republicans have not helped him one bit on the health care front and It seems as though its going to remain that way for the duration of his term. I think if he is given the cooperation and bipartisanship he needs he can deliver on many fronts. I voted for him last time and will do so again.

When am I going to be able to see your MW2 skills first hand?

And what is the greatest sporting moment you've seen live in the stadium? No doubt something from the Texas Longhorns.

hMarka says: Probably never now that I have Bad Company 2, however we still need to get some NCAA action going.

Texas vs Oklahoma State in the 2005 College football season. Came back from a 30 odd point deficit at half time to not only win but cover the 14 point spread! It was the Vince Young show the 2nd half, I think he rushed for 250 odd yards the whole game. We went on to win the National Championship.

How do you manage to be such a class arrogant here? your most hated member?

hMarka says: RIP English Language

If you get a chance to have a trip to India which city you would like to visit here?

hMarka says: Not cities but I’d want to visit Goa and Kerala.

Do you think you have certainly got a 'celebrity' tag now with people asking you all sorts of questions on the forum?

hMarka says: RIP creativity

Right, you're just wandering about one day when suddenly a masked gunman abducts you, you then wake up, your blindfold taken off and you're in a room with 2 men. The gunman holds his gun to your head and gives you a choice. Your first option is to go off with the other man, Graeme. He's a lovely little fella, nice shaven bald head, nice little Ben Sherman pink shirt, he works for an advertising company in Brighton, drives a sports car, and he loves you dearly.

You then have to live out the life of an outwardly gay man, spending the rest of your days with Graeme. Doing all the activity in the bedroom, going to the bars with him at 3 in the morning, cutting the back out of your leather pants out, just generally being affectionate towards eachother. You end up consummating your relationship with Graeme by getting married. At the end of the service the Vicar then decides to do what they used to do in 'olden times' but instead of saying "you may kiss the bride" he says "you may knob lovely Graeme", and this knobbing happens in-front of half of Brighton.

This may not sound like a fantastic option, and you may be thinking immediately that you'll go for the 2nd one. But, the 2nd option is that your close family and friends are killed, and you then have to live out the rest of your life with a monkey. Living in a tree, with a monkey, eating bananas, other fruit and nuts and just living your life all alone with the monkey.

Your choice. Graeme or Bobo?

hMarka says: Graeme, because after a few years with the monkey he would start to look attractive and Id rather do a dude than a monkey. Also don’t want my parents dying just because of an action I took.

NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, or NASCAR???

hMarka says: Meh, NFL I guess
My hierarchy of sports is Test Cricket > College Football > Limited Overs Cricket > MLB > Formula 1 > NFL

What do you look for in a girl, body or personality?

hMarka says: Personality by a mile, I can’t stand stupid people and stupid girls are the worst. Have to be able to carry out a halfway intelligent conversation with the person I am to spend most of my life with. All that being said, cute face is an absolute must.

What are some undesirable traits you have(everyone has them)?

If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states?

If, in a cricket game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?

What was the naughtiest prank you played in school or in your life?

hMarka says: A ) My penis is too big
B ) Not for drinking but for being a minor under the influence of alcohol.
C ) Dead ball
D) Had a bit of a prank war in college with some girls in the dorm next door. One of the girls sent a tube of hemroid cream to my dorm RA (prefect) with a fake note from my mother. He of course told the entire floor I had hemroids. So to get back at them I bought some tiny mice from the local Petco, I put them in a box which I wrapped in gift wrap and left it at her door. The rest is history

Imagine you play club cricket. Your team is doing really well in one of the tournaments. The next day you've to play a match whose result means nothing to the team's future in the tournament because your team has already guaranteed it's place in the semi-finals. Now, you are in situation where you can either score your first hundred or get your team to win the match. Somehow, you can't do both of them. Which would you choose?

hMarka says: Cheesy as it sounds Id love to win a match. I bat at number 11 and I don’t much care for batting to be honest. Id rather have a 5fer any day than a 100.

Have you ever witnessed a person die?

hMarka says: This was the last question asked and I did not want to end on a sad note so I moved this in the middle. I have never seen anyone die, however in college a friend of mine’s life was cut short in a very unfortunate manner. I was the one to discover him and it’s a memory I will take with me to my grave.

What question should I ask?

hMarka says: (insert cheeky comment)
You stumped me Ste, I literally racked my brain for a few minutes to come up with something halfway clever and alas I failed.

Why the 'h' before and 'a' after 'mark'?

hMarka says: Initials of my name

Why do you always lose on Modern Warfare 2 when you play me?

hMarka says: My l33t n00b pWnage skills died along with my childhood

Do you believe in karma?

hMarka says: Nope because George W Bush is living a very happy life.

Who do you think is the real no.1 cricket team?

hMarka says: Any given day in any format, my money is on Australia

Have you ever been to India? I've heard you had some horrendous experiences somewhere... can you tell us what were they? Maybe we can clear some of it...

hMarka says: I have been there and I did not have a “horrendous” experience. I visited Mumbai in 1999, and from what I remember (besides the abject poverty and the kids in the streets) I had a good time. One thing that stands out if drinking coconut milk from the coconut on the beach and visiting that MTV cribs style governors mansion (the one of the tip of the bay with the long drive up through the trees)

Has your gf ever done a #2 on your face?

hMarka says: My college days are behind me.

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And that wraps it up, you will never get back the few minutes it took to read this interview. Think about it when you are on your death bed.

 

[TumTum]

Oh yes the great hMarka answered all. He is so nice to take a break from his busy schedule and tell all about his boringmagnificent life.

 

[Cricketdude]

Should have done for e.g Hmarka says:

Because its too difficult to read.

 

[Highlander999]

Worst. Interview. Ever..



Arrogance at it's best!



English is Bakwasss :banana2 :banana2

Shut up Chetan, change the record.

This made me :laugh

Do you believe in karma?

hMarka says: Nope because George W Bush is living a very happy life.

 

[mattfb]

Legendary.

 

[Chetan0304]

Shut up Chetan, change the record.

Believe me i won't change it.

 

[-D-S-B-]

hMarka says: A ) My penis is too big

Man I have the exact same problem.
I never knew the drinking age was 21 in USA glad I don't live there

Good answers BTW Mark. Enjoyed reading

 

[Dutch]

Thanks for the answers Harmy. We are so alike, apart from the big penis thing!

 

[Covvy]

Man I love these interviews. Get on with next month's

 

[pcfan123]

Yea I reckon the nominations thread should be opened. Debating who I want to nominate, so many interesting charectors on PC

 

[Ollie_H]

Don't over kill this, it's mid march and you already want to open April's?

 

[pcfan123]

My thoughts are that the last one basically died as people lost interest so lets keep the momentum going. But I digress to the all might mod :hpraise

 

[Kshitiz_Indian]

We've already had 2 in the same month! How can we open May's nomination in Mid March lol.

Go at this rate and you'd be exhausted within 2 months, and then again it'll die till a new wave of members comes up.

 

[treva]

NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, or NASCAR???

hMarka says: Meh, NFL I guess
My hierarchy of sports is Test Cricket > College Football > Limited Overs Cricket > MLB > Formula 1 > NFL

So that would be MLB then, not NFL?

And do you have NCAA09 now then? If so maybe this weekend I can give you a game.

 

[pcfan123]

So that would be MLB then, not NFL?

And do you have NCAA09 now then? If so maybe this weekend I can give you a game.

I guess I should have elaborated.

Football > baseball but since College football was not a choice, Id watch NFL over MLB.

I do have NCAA09 so perhaps this weekend we can finally get our game in.