The Life Of A Would've been Footballer (FM 07 [7.0.2])

[Steve Moore]

March '08

Betis (H)

Well, I bet the Spanish TV viewers had all turned off that tripe! An awful game with no chances & the only goal was when a cross was turned into his own net by Lee Peltier. So we lost 1-0, we've slipped to 19th & although we're only a point of the line we are now the wrong side of it. The only other problem is that our next two games are against Barcelona & Real Madrid.

Barcelona (H)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We were brilliant, we were awesome, we weren't outplayed & we won 1-0. Anthony Grant was Man of the Match & we are back out of the relegation zone. It's days like this I love in football & it's a performance like that from a young free transfer I brought in like Grant that proves to me that I can be a football manager.


I got a phone call from Toni:

TONI: 'Steve,'
ME: 'OH! Hi Toni, I've been meaning to ring.' (Or rather avoiding the issue)
TONI: 'Yeah, it's been a week & a half.'
ME: 'Well look Toni,....' (This is it Steve, tell her your not ready yet, tell her about Laura) '...I've got a shedload of games coming up, so do you want to meet up in London during the 1st week on April?' (D'OHHHHHHHHHH, YOU IDIOT!)

So we arrange to meet in London on the Wednesday after the Xerez game. I don't believe I've been weak enough to do that.

Real Madrid (A)

It was a good effort but, it couldn't happen 2 weeks in a row. 3-1 isn't a bad result. Yes we are in the relegation zone, but we've played the hardest games now & we are only behind by one goal on goal difference.

Athletic (A)

ME: 'We can't afford to continue to lose these sorts of games 1-0. We played as well as them & ended up losing. We can't keep doing it.'
MICK: 'Steve, Numancia lost 2-0 @ Betis.'
ME: 'So what, if we'd have got a point we now be out of the relegation zone.'

Friday Morning
MICK: 'Steve, it's looking like Ulises is getting a bit uppety about his lack of 1st team footy.'
ME: 'If De La Cruz wants to make a point of it, he should come to me. If he does, I'll tell him that Peltier is keeping him out the team and that's the end of the issue.'

Afternoon

*Phone Rings*
ME: 'Hello?'
PEDRO: 'Hi Steve, just ringing to let you know that the takeover's gone through and I'm handing over to Diego, who as you know will be chairman on behalf of the supporters club, later on this evening, after siesta.'
ME: 'Thanks a lot Pedro, for all the support you've given me.'

Deportivo (A)

Never at the races, outplayed, murdered down the flanks & deservedly thrased 4-0 and what's worse was that Numancia drew! We are now a point behind as we go into the most important stage of our season so far....Bottom side Xerez at Home, 12th placed Getafe away & then Numancia themselves come to Valencia. With a new chairman to impress as well!

Xerez (H)

I don't care that the ref spoilt the game by sending us down to 9 & Xerez to 10....WE WON 2-0!!!!! We got the job done, we are also outside the relegation zone going into April & De La Cruz's ball to Sibierski for the 2nd was sheer magic!

 

[Jaztheman]

Lol quite a hectic month there but at least you are out of the relagation battle. Very nice stuff mate.

 

[Steve Moore]

April '08

So I went back to the U.K. to see Toni...

...I'd forgotten how absolutely stunning she is. However, I need to sort out this mess I'm in. No matter how beautiful she is and how much I want to take it further, I know I'm not ready for a sexual relationship but I'm also scared that my cowardice will get the better of me and I'll leave myself in this situation for even longer.

But I did it. I told her everything, my life story, Laura, everything. The best thing about it was that she was sympathetic and understanding about it all. Which, on the other hand, makes it all the harder for me to tell her that I don't want to have that sort of relationship with her.

Getafe (A)

Well, we gave it a shot, we lost 2-1 although our goal forced a hairy scary last 10 minutes...

It's gonna be a hairy scary last 8 games too. Xerex are as good as down & that leaves Numancia & Almeria on 26 points, us on 27 points & Espanyol on 28. 2 of us are going down. If we can beat Numancia next week back in Valencia it would be SOOO vital.

West Brom V Luton (Wembley)

You'd think that the day before such a massive relegation clash I'd be intendly watching video's, training the boys & instilling tactics into them. Not when Mike Newell has taken mine, Mick's & Bravo's beloved Hatters to an F.A. Cup Semi at Wembley! Where the hell do you think we'd be!

I'd actually went to see Toni the day before too and to meet up wit her purely as a friend felt really quite good. It felt like I had a lifted the world off my shoulders and it felt brilliant.

Although going to the game didn't seem like such a good idea when Ellington had slotted home after 6 minutes & we were awful & lucky to only be one down at the half......

....Then Stephen O' Leary battled and won the ball, played it sideways to Matty Spring 30 yards away from the goal in front of us & we could see it open up for him, as did 35,000 other Hatters who all shouted 'SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT' So he did, it flew in the TOP CORNER!!!!!!!!!!

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

30 Minutes to go & the rest of the game was as cagey as anything you'd expect. It's going to extra time. Which is a darn sight better than against Chelsea 14 years ago (2-0). It's injury time and Stephen O' Halloran has just hoofed one downfield in the vain hope that it finds Sam Parkin... Hold Up, Clement's put it out for a corner....

Right in front of our fans to our right everyone is rising to their feet to lift O' Leary for one last corner... It's a deliberatly long one, deep beyond the far post, Coyne heads it back across & it's BRRRRRKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVIIIIIIICC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's an overhead kick special from the Croatian Sensation & WE ARE IN THE CUP FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Numancia (H)

If that wasn't good enough for a weekend, beating Numancia 2-0 in such a vital game, with everyone stepping up to the mark, with Felix Dja Ettien playing like well, Scotty Oakes at his best! (I know you non-Luton fans won't know who the hell he was but trust me he was very, very good).

Oh, there was some bad news...Although they took the lead, Northampton lost to Man Utd 3-1 in the other Semi so it's Luton V Man Utd. Final.

Recreativo (A)

ME: 'That was an unbelievable result. 3-0, totally superb! I think we may have to agree that we've both got it wrong with Felix, he's been brilliant, top draw! Like Kingsley Black in his pomp.'
MICK: 'True mate, Although Felix doesn't quite the same ability of crosses that I used to gobble up from Kingsley! *Laughs*. Don't forget Chiguy Lucau either, two more today, looking lethal in the hole behind Sibierski, like his early season form.
ME: 'Totally, now 14th, Brilliant stuff.'

Espanyol (H)

Not our best performance, but hard-working and with a rather large part played by Ivan Cuellar between the sticks a decent 0-0.

Sevilla (H)

90th Minute

ME: This has been a really good, hardfought point, another good grafty 0-0.
MICK: Hold it up Steveo, Felix is round the back....
ME:.....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.: We are now 14th & 9 points away from the relegation zone with only 4 games to play.

 

[Steve Moore]

May '08

Athletico (A)

*At Referee*
ME: 'What the hell are you playing at Ref! Call that a Penalty, not on your life mate! You've cost us the game & not only that... Alexy (Baumjohann) was crocked and will miss the rest of the season & what do you do to the culprit? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU IDIOT!

Real Sociedad

ME: 'That was an absolutely dire game Mick!'
MICK: 'What does it matter though!'
ME: Too right, 0-0 enough to keep us up with 2 games to spare.'

*Phone Rings*

ME: 'Hello?'
DIEGO: 'Hi, it's Diego, I'd like to discuss a new contract with you.'

So we thrashed out a new deal. Doubling my Wages to the equlivalent of ?15k/year. He even offered me almost ?500k transfer kitty, however I asked him to drop that down in favour of an increased wage budget so I could raid the Bosman's. We shook on it and it was sorted & I could plan for next season.

Valencia (H)

ME: O.K. Mick, maybe you were right about David Karanka, seeing as he hasn't had much of an impact but he'll be a Levante legend now, winner in the derby!
*Laughs all round*

I saw Lassana Diarra on the Bosman list & felt that he has to be an option to be taken up. Amazingly, he was quick to snap it up & he'll be a Levante player next year & it allows me to get rid of Sylvain N'Diaye for ?250k because he simply isn't going to get 1st team football with the guys ahead of him. However, he rejected the contract from the team that wanted him!

Oh & by the way, we finished 14th!

So, just before we left for the Cup Final, me & Mick had a discussion about where we need to improve. We felt that the key area was up front... 9 goals scored by your top scorer, even if two of them reached it (Sibierski & Lucau). The number one need was a new target man as nobody could fill the role of the ageing Sibierski, and we need someone who can be lethally dangerous behind the target man if Lucau is injured.

In the target man role we saw that both David Nugent & Billy Sharp's contracts were up soon & we placed offers in for them & for the role behind them, Harford recommended Roberto Batres from Athletico, who caused havoc on the last day against us playing for relegated Almeria's in their 4-0 thumping of us.

Man Utd. V LUTON (Wembley) {F.A. Cup Final}

So what if it was 2-0 and comfortable. So what if we didn't create a chance, we had the best day out of our lives. Luton in the Cup Final at Wembley. We had the best laugh of our lives! Plus Luton in Europe next year!

'MIKE NEWELL'S BARMY ARMY!!!!!!'

Anyway, before the game, David Nugent's agent rung me to say that there is absolutely no chance of him signing for Levante so I left for Scunthorpe desperate to get the Sharpy! 3 Hours later, I left for Manchester Airport having got my man's signature on a contract. Billy Sharp was going to be playing for Levante next year! Having said that I got some bad news whilst at the Airport where I received news that Batres had signed a new deal at Athletico.

So it was time to draw up a list of guys to back up Lacau. Benjamin Lauth was the man we wanted but eventually he turned us down, so it was back to the list. On the other hand, Mick told me that he felt Laurent Robert was now past it at this level & to be honest I was thinking that when I joined the club 12 months ago, he provided decent service for a season but it was time to go out & replace him on the left wing.

 

[Jaztheman]

Fantastic season there mate. Great writing loving the story. Fab

 

[Steve Moore]

Summer 2008

I spent most of the summer busy, not on football matters half the time either! When I’d been in the start of my rehabilitation process, I spent a couple of summers working at an English foreign language in East London and my boss for one of the years was the good Doctor, Chris Smith. What he has a doctorate in, I still don’t know but he is a top-class rugby referee and was able to get me tickets for the Wales-Ireland grand slam game in 2005. Now, knowing that I owe him one for it, I couldn’t really ignore him when he called me up saying he was desperately short of staff & could I help out for a couple of weeks. I was in the country on the heels of Bobby Convey, on a free from Reading anyway, so it wasn’t too much out of my way anyway.

Whilst there, I did a few things that I think I had always needed too. I rode on a red London bus, the object of my hatred for it’s part in Laura’s death, and I went to see ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ for the first time since the day that I proposed to Laura.

I also met someone who I thought I’d never see again; Jahiya Safina & I had met when she was a student the previous time I was working for Embassy CES. This time she was a co-worker and we relived old times, good laughs we’d had and we were having a good time.

Then, with the Bobby Convey deal sorted that afternoon, we all went out for a few drinks on a Friday night with all the co-workers, we all got drunk, enjoyed ourselves & before I knew it, me & Jahiya were curled up in bed, snogging, her beautiful thighs pressing up against me inviting me, almost teasing me to take it further. So I did, we enjoyed ourselves & we spent the rest of our nights in London, having what we termed ‘Long-term Casual Sex’. I think we could safely say that, although I would never forget Laura, I am at least over her enough to move on relationship-wise. Or at least, that’s what Toni said, along with the rider ‘I only wish you’d done that when you were with me!’ To which I could only say ‘Sorry’.

I went back to Spain, signed a very decent back-up to Lucau in Oskitz from Sociedad. Sold Kike Mateo for $500k, I also released N’Diaye & Laurent Robert, who, like I have previously mentioned were now surplus to requirements. Near the end of July, I went to the End of Season presentation evening that was organised by the Levante supporters’ trust that now has majority control of the club. For those interested:
Fans Player of the Year: Chiguy Lucau
Staff Player of the Year: Chiguy Lucau
Player’s Player of the Year: Mario Tokic
Young Player of the Year: Anthony Grant

I was not entirely there though, I was really thinking about my upcoming ‘scouting trip’ to Moscow!

 

[Steve Moore]

August 2008

The month started really relaxed. I got back from Moscow, albeit having not watched any football! There was nothing to do for the first week. Then suddenly, I was inundated with a load of meetings in the second week.

First of all, Chairman Diego asked for me to come upstairs for ?a chat?. My mind really did start racing, I remembered how the Santander Ultras got rid of my a year ago. Surely not again! But no, apparently a member of the supporters had won the Spanish National Lottery, or something like that and had ploughed a few million into the club & it meant I now had the equivalent of 2.5 million afforded to me as a transfer budget. I don?t really want to use it, but it?s a useful safety net.

Midweek, Mick came in with the list of the players that had now under a year on their contract. Most of those who I was desperate to avoid a Bosman pinching were extremely happy to discuss a new contract & dealing with them was simple, easy & almost a pleasure. Then came my lynchpin, club captain & leader Mario Tokic:

ME: ?Hi Mario, look, you?re vital for this club & I?d like to extend your stay at the club beyond the next year.?
TOKIC: ?Well, if I?m brutally honest with you, I want to look at all the possible avenues that are available to me for next season & I don?t want to get into contract discussions just yet.?
ME: ?Well, like I say, your vital for this club, I?ve sent a contract offer to your agent that I?m sure he?ll agree reflects how vital we feel your are to this club. Give it some thought mate?Seriously.?
TOKIC: ?Will do boss.?

Somehow, I didn?t fancy the chances of us getting his signature on that. Scum of the earth agents, most of them anyway. Mario?s is definitely playing him like a fiddle, he loves this club, he wants to stay but his agent is not letting him think for himself.

A couple of days later, Mick came up to me saying that Ryan Garry asked him if he could come up to the office after training. With the way he had failed to settle into Spanish life off the field last year, despite his good form on it, I suspected that he wanted to go home. I couldn?t blame him; Spain isn?t exactly North London is it!

*Tentative knock at the door*
GARRY: ?It?s Ryan Garry.?
ME: ?Sure mate, come in. Doors open, I?m not doing anything I shouldn?t be!?
GARRY: *Stifled laughter as he comes in*
ME: ?Have a seat Ryan. How?s it going? I appreciate you?ve not found Spain that easy.?
GARRY: ?Well boss, I feel a lot better. I went home for a few weeks this summer, came back and I?m starting to settle in here. The language lessons are going better & to be frank boss. I want to stay here longer now.?
ME: ?That?s an inventive way of asking for a new contract!?*Laugh* ?Only joking mate. That?s brilliant. You?ve been good on the field & although I think we should wait & see how it goes with view to a longer contract, I?m ecstatic with the news.?

I gave Mario a week before calling him back in:

ME: ?So, what do you think??
TOKIC: ?I?m not saying anything until my agent gets here.?
ME: ?Let?s sort this out like adults, either you want to sign or not.?
TOKIC: ?I said, I?m not saying anything until my agent gets here.?

So we wait for an hour & 15 minutes until this small, fat bloke waltzes in smoking a huge Cuban cigar. Looking like a right Eastern-European Eric Hall.

?For starters, in my office there?s no smoking, so you can put that awful thing out straight away!?

We then proceeded to have a 5-minute argument about his cigar followed by a 40-minute one about why he wouldn?t let him sign a new contract despite the fact that he likes it here & there are huge terms on the table. The end result was the idiot walking out when it was clear he didn?t have a negotiating leg to stand on & Mario following him out the door.

After all that, it was almost time to actually play some competitive football!

Osasuna (A)

Before the game I discussed with Mario about how contracts & politics were off the field issues & he?s still a key member & leader of this side.

He did listen, not that we played very well. Defensively we were fine but we were awful going forward. 1 shot on target & thank god we kept a clean sheet, cause I dread what to think should our defense not turn up one week with our attack playing as it is!

Celta (H)

So we lost 2-1. Oh well, all I can say is that after the cheap penalty, which Sharpy put away for his first Levante goal. They scored with a brilliantly slick team move & one mistake at marking a cross. The positives are, in the second half, we actually started to look half-threatening going forward.

 

[Steve Moore]

September 2008

After the relaxation of an international weekend & a fairly comfortable monthly board meeting it only took until the 3rd for things to take a turn for the worse. Lassana Diarra was feeling his shins in training. So I told him to get it looked at by the club doctor & the news was awful. He?s got shin splints & he needs to see a specialist. Meaning he?ll be out for a month. To top that off, Lucau is off playing for Congo so will miss the Betis game!

Betis (A)

To top that off, keeper Iv?n Cu?llar stubbed his finger on Thursday & although declared fit to start, certainly didn?t look 100%. I dropped him to the bench for Josu as a result.

Not that he could?ve done anything about the fact we didn?t wake up until 10 minutes in. By which time, Ziegler had scored a free header. The lads deserve some credit though, when they did wake up, they gave as good as they got. The reward came in strange circumstances at the end of the 1st half when Josu?s long punt was missed by Oskitz & the Betis defender, everybody stopped except Billy Sharp & suddenly, we were level.

Full Time

?Oi, Lino! What the hell are you playing at! How is a guy, minding his own business in the middle of the box, interfering with play when the ball went in straight from the left wing?NOWHERE NEAR FLIPPING SIBIERSKI! You?ve cost us a point you little twerp! That was a perfectly good equalizer!?

Oh, it gets worse too, after losing that game 2-1 to Betis?It?s Real Madrid next.

Luton V FC Twente (UEFA Cup 1st round, 1st leg)

Before that though, it was back home to see our boys 1st foray into Europe. Not that it was a good idea. Typical old-school Hatters, we dominate, concede the softest of goals, have one disallowed & lose 1-0.

Real Madrid (H)

?Nothing to lose lads?they?re expected to turn us over, we literally have everything to gain.?

We only did gain everything as well?.WE ONLY BLOODY DONE IT!

One set piece, one time Madrid don?t mark properly, one time Oskitz is unmarked at the back stick. One cool finish, ONE FLAMING NIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got some pleasing comments from Capello after the game too. Which is always good to receive from such a successful & experienced manager. All that really matters is we finally got 3 points.

Deportivo (H)

?Ref! 2 Head injuries, caused by 2 awful fouls, with 2 of my players crocked?YET YOU DON?T EVEN BOOK ANYONE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT!?

Still, we got a hard earned 0-0 draw & the injuries aren?t serious but it?s the principle of it that bothers me because they were 2 diabolical ?challenges?.

Espanyol (A)

?NOW THAT LADS!?.. Well, I don?t know what to say but we were diabolical. I?m?errrrrr?lost for words & how we only lost 2-0 I don?t know.?

It?s true though, we were really awful. Our goal was a flukey one & a fair result would?ve been 3 or 4-0. On top of that, for my sins, I?m of to Holland in the faint hope Luton go to Enschede & win!

FC Twente V Luton (UEFA CUP 1st Round, 2nd Leg)
It gets worse too, I get a phone call whilst in Holland telling me Mathieu Berson has pulled his hamstring. DAMN & BLAST IT!

Luton lost 1-0 too, things have not gone well this week!

Athletic (H)

ME: ?Another Ref is gonna cost us a ******* point!?
MICK: ?Too right, that was never a penalty, but there?s still 5 minutes le?.
JOINT: ?YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!? ME: ANTHONY GRANT YOU BEAUTTTTYYYYYYY!
MICK: ?What a goal that was.?
ME: ?Brilliant, we?ve popped in two crackers today?from our so called ?Defensive? Midfielders!?

 

[Steve Moore]

October (start) 2008

Mallorca (A)

Well, it’s away from home & it’s a point, which I would’ve taken beforehand. However, if only we could’ve finished! We totally outplayed them but 0-0.

Now the bleeding press is talking about 3 games without a win. This is despite the fact that 3 of them are draws & our win before that was at home to Real ******* Madrid.

Now, another international week & 11 days before our next game. So I went back to the U.K. to talk to Toni about something that was really troubling me, something that is more important than football. I’d been worried about my relationship Jahiya & the fact that it was just sex. It meant, that despite the obvious distance between us that could attribute to why I didn’t engage it into a more serious relationship, I felt guilty & that I was just using her.

I got a huge shock when we met up though. I don’t know how they met, but Toni was sitting there talking to, of all people, ELIZABETH DAWBER! One of my oldest friends & the first person I ever told about Laura’s death. I hadn’t talked to her in what, 3-4 years, ever since she went to work in Thailand for a year.

She was my greatest friend in the years of what I could well consider my depression; she desperately tried to help me no matter how much of a hopeless case I must have seemed. Even if she could never work out whom she was. Lizzie one week, Beth the next. Straight one week, Lesbian the next! True, that’s what funny things Uni can do to change you. Still, she’s sorted now, married with a kid! Not that it was her love life we were there to talk about but still, it was good to catch up after all these years.

We talked about, well, everything. Afterwards I think we realized my problems actually run a lot deeper, I don’t know why we ever thought they weren’t. They always were before. Although, the distance is an issue we discussed, that’s not it, I certainly shouldn’t be guilty about Jahiya, because she’s fine with the terms of our relationship. It’s all about Laura & me again!

I don’t think I’ll ever get over Laura. Not fully anyway. I still wake up at times from Nightmares of me having this hellish mental image of the bus & her lying on the floor in a pool of blood & oh god, I don’t want to think about it, I’m in tears now.

I don’t only think about that. I often think about the good times we spent together. The night I proposed to her in particular. The sheer genius of ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, the brilliance of the music, the extravagance of the restaurant but more importantly the beauty of ‘my Christine’ Laura & the happiness of her face when she said that one little wonderful word, ‘Yes’.

What I’m guilty of at the minute. I think now, is how little my relationship with Jahiya matters to me in comparison with my relationship with Laura.

I hear so many songs, about love, death & loss. The truth is I have not heard a single song that comes even close to how I feel about Laura, every single day. Think about it, walk into Virgin Megastore in Oxford Street & there must be what, Millions, if not Billions of minutes of music. I’d bet you anything that there isn’t a single minute of it that can remotely describe how I feel.

What I’m trying to say is that there is no point in me trying to explain how I feel about Laura, because there just aren’t the words to explain it. Certainly not in the English language anyway.

I’m just going to have to face it. Laura was not only something that was special & unrepeatable. It is not only going to stay with me, but also it’s going to affect the way I look on my relationships with anybody else, forever.

 

[treva]

This is probably the best written story I have ever read! The detail, the fealness of it is incredible. The way you have merged real life issues and football together is fantastic. A brilliant story that I feel should get more notice because of the sheer quality of the writing. Who needs pictures when you can write like this?

 

[Steve Moore]

This is probably the best written story I have ever read! The detail, the fealness of it is incredible. The way you have merged real life issues and football together is fantastic. A brilliant story that I feel should get more notice because of the sheer quality of the writing. Who needs pictures when you can write like this?

well, errrr...jez...I'm embarressed now *embarressed Smilie*. Thanks a lot for quite amazing praise

 

[Steve Moore]

October 2008 (cont.)

It would?ve been a relief to get back to work! Flipping Heck, I can?t believe I just said that. It would?ve been, if the first news I received when I got off the plane was that Alvaro strained his wrist in a weights session and is out for a couple of weeks.

Still, Mathieu Berson has resumed training & at least I?m not Bernd Schuster?In the job club, sacked as boss of Getafe!

Alaves (A)

I didn?t feel relieved at Half Time, well, I did but, not about being back at work. I was only relieved that it was still 0-0. Dire. Outplayed. Goal Line Clearances. Convey Injured. NOT GOOD!

A minute later I felt rather better. Straight from kick-off controlled the ball, lovely passing, with Oskitz beating his man & sticking the football in the net. As Bill Shankly used to say; ?It?s better in there!?

His 2nd, 10 minutes later, was even better! Tommasi wins it in midfield, does the simple thing & plays the way he?s facing to O? Brien. Plays a 1-2 with Baumjohann, committing the full-back in the process. Then he plays this unbelievably beautiful, cutting through-ball, which puts Sharp in. Billy?s unselfish, commits keeper, roles it to the unmarked Oskitz, 2-0! GET IN!

ME: ?Now that is, by far the best team goal EVER scored by a team of mine!?
MICK: ?Well, there was that one Matthew Taylor scored when you were skipper of the U-18?s against Southampton in the F.A. Youth Cup. You put 25 passes together & Matthew Spring back heeled it through to him!?
ME: ?I Remember that! Poor Matty Upson was the only player not to touch the ball!?

Malaga (A) (Spanish Cup 4th Round, 1st Leg)

So the fringe players had a go. Proving in the process why they are only fringe players. Still, Malaga also proved why they are not in La Liga with their finishing. Something Danny Graham then showed he had (about time to) & scored his 1st goal for Levante & gives us a 1-0 away win.

Recreativo (H)

ME: ?I?ll stick my hands up, my mistake. We were creating 1st half, we even had a goal disallowed (albeit fairly) but I take Sharp of for Graham & then we create nothing in the 2nd half. Just a boring 0-0 flipping draw.?
MICK: ?You?d better hold your hands up. It all your flipping fault! Nah mate, can?t get everything right can ya!?
ME: ?Way ay Man!?
MICK: ?Don?t take the **** out me accent you ****, Else I?ll lamp ya one. I?m a Mackem, not a Geordie!?

Mick Laughs, I?m actually scared ****less. I mean its Mick Harford. Who wouldn?t be? I?d hardly be more scared if it was Jimmy Case & Mick Kennedy?s lovechild.

Zaragoza (H)

Flipping Heck. That was ******* brutal. I?m not even sure that was a game of football. The physio?s were doing more work than the players. How nobody went off on a stretcher or was sent off I don?t know. We both had our chances to score but really, that was like watching a Watford game! You?d have almost needed to be an idiot to try & score in that mess.

Still, another point, 11 games gone & 12th? nowt wrong with that!.

 

[Steve Moore]

November 08

Sevilla (A)

‘Damn, I could’ve come to terms with it if we’d have conceded a wonder goal but a goal like that, with a defensive slip from Tokic.’

‘Oh, come on Steve! We ain’t conceded in 4 games previous to that. It was always gonna happen some time or another man.’ Mick chirped.

‘But still, 1-0 like that. Flipping annoying.’

Malaga (H) (Spanish Cup 4th Round 2nd Leg)

Another run out for the fringe players, who were awful & sent the game to penalties by losing 0-1. Not good. Particularly if we chuck the shoot-out away from a winning position. I need the international break just to recover from this!

----------------------------.

‘There was a time
I was everything and nothing all in one
When you found me
I was feeling like a cloud across the sun

I need to tell you
How you light up every second of the day
But in the moonlight
You just shine like a beacon on the bay

And I can't explain
But it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside
And I can't describe
But it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
The way you look tonight’

‘Oi! Stop it!’ Bravo shouts. ‘Turn that crap off.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s tacky & cheesy & worst of all, made by a WATFORD FAN! Does that not mean anything to you.’ (Typical Bravo! Luton primary thought!)

‘Well, you can’t be too hard on him committing the cardinal sin if he makes great music. Besides, I’m day-dreaming about Laura.’

‘I thought you were over her. Well anyway, have you seen the newspapers today?’ Bravo quipped. ‘Diarra’s put his hand up for the mistake against Malaga & is promising to make up for it.’

‘Well, A) it appears I’m not as it happens & B) I’d have preferred him to promise it to me in private. But, if he wants the extra media & fan pressure, then let him have it!’

‘Oh, by the way.’ He added with his head halfway out the door. ‘I was having a little chat with Billy Sharp earlier & he was talking about his lack of goals in a way that made me suggest he’s getting down about it. I suggest a little chat.’

‘Damn JB! I really shouldn’t have hired you when your contracts at Palace & Charlton ran out at the end of October.’

‘Why?’ Bravo looked back quizzically

‘Cause your too ****** good at your job! You make the rest of us look bad!’

Athletico (H)

The international week didn’t really work for us either. Josu & Halfreðsson getting injured for Peru & Iceland respectively. Still, neither being a 1st XI player, we have contingencies for that.

What you can’t provide contingencies for is losing a game that you played decently in because of a Lopez free-kick special & a pinball machine goal from Seitaridis meaning that Sharp’s drought ending goal means jack-all!

But there’s worse to come:

Valencia (A)

The Valencia derby & my 100th game in management over my time at Santander & Levante, not a landmark I want the players to worry about but a nice one for me. Having said that, playing 1st away in the derby game wasn’t really the way I wanted to celebrate it!

Why are they 1st? Ask David Villa, Joaquin & Carlos Tevez. 4-0 it finished, 4 ****** 0! Not only that, we got off lightly. As much as 4-0 in the derby is lightly.

Barcelona (H)

Ahhhh, don’t you just love it when a plan comes together. Lucau looked fired up all week in training. Bring him in as reward against Barca, scores the equaliser after 76th minutes. Bring him off for Oskitz whose freshness tells immediately as him & Sharp pull the Barca defence this way & that 3 minutes later to make it 2-1.

Now, if only we could find a way of stopping Messi scoring a wonder-goal to equalise with 8 minutes left!

I got some kind comments from Rijkaard too. Saying we should avoid relegation easily. Being in the relegation zone, 2 points from safety, I wish I could be so optimistic.

 

[Steve Moore]

December ?08

1st good thing this month, Watford are in such disarray they?ve sacked Steve Bruce. Bad news, they are comfortably 15th in the table, so they aren?t going down just yet. Bringing Paul Jewell in within a few days.

Villarreal (H)

89th minute-Edge of Technical area:
?Oh COME ON! Why can?t we frigging finish? We should be 3 or 4 nil up by now! For Goodness sake! THIS IS SHO?..AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! YEAH! What a hit Granty boy, What a hit!?
*Turns to Mick & Bravo*
In trio: ?You just don?t save those!?

It was nice to get a call in the week from the chairman about our T.V. games for the New Year. O.K, it?s slightly obvious, Madrid & Barcelona away, but it?s nice to know nonetheless.

Real Sociedad (A)

There we go! If we finish well, we win games like this. Lucau has two chances, scores them both & it doesn?t even matter that they scored a great free-kick cause we win anyway.

On top of that the 6 assists by Felix Dja Ettien this season is already a club record. Good on him, he?s forced his way into my team & added some end product to his undoubted ability. Well done him. Onto the Christmas break we go.

Christmas was awful. It?s a time to be with the one?s you love & although it was nice to see my family & particularly good to meet up with Toni & Beth again. It was the loved one that wasn?t there that loomed over me.

I was going to see Jahiya over the period & Christmas in Moscow with snow & the beauty of the city itself, was rather appealing but just after the Sociedad game she rang me to say she had met a more local guy with whom she saw herself having a more long term relationship. So that was that idea down the ?George?. (oops, I?d better explain that one to you. ?Down the shooter? becomes ?down the George? because of the rugby player George Chuter, pronounced Shooter)

So that was Christmas, it came, it went, it was awful & to be quite frank, you can have it back.

Things got worse when I got back too. Alvaro?s done himself an injury in the weights room, meaning he?s out for a month. Ivan Cuellar?s other half did a poor job with the Christmas dinner & he?s got food poisoning although he should miss any games. I?m having to umm & ahh about the futures of old-stagers Ian Harte, Ulises de la Cruz & Antoine Sibierski who all now have only 6 months left on their contracts & my new attempt to try & get Mario Tokic to sign a new contract failed dramatically so now the bosman boys will probably be sniffing with pre-contracts.

 

[treva]

Great work as usual. The results are coming for you now. Where abouts are you in the table? Big games coming up and if you can grab 2 or 3 points from the Madrid & Barca games then that would be some brilliant points to pick up.