Edmonds - "Gay kit Is Below Me"

[Jaztheman]

It has been reported that James Edmonds, currently a Manchester Divided star batsman, has been seen fuming from strip club to strip club, in a rage as he attempts to calm down. All his stress and rightful anger has stemmed from an abomination of a kit that was recently posted by Co-Owner ZoraxDoom. Edmonds posted about his disgust at the utter terrible kit and was met with criticism from his owner.

James Edmonds has been leading a poll in the team thread for captain but has made a lengthy press release stating that he is considering leaving the kit, to somewhere that doesn't try and act as a representative for a gay community, and somewhere were they are not colour blind.

"I'm annoyed first of all by Zorax's obnoxious nature and his annoying behaviour behind the scene. Many people don't see what happens behind doors, and they're the lucky ones. He's a terrible personality and is always attempting to be funny, with most of his efforts going in vein. Not only does he annoy me to no ends on and off the forum, he then goes on to post a kit after I stated I hated pink, with other members of the team also stating their concern via MSN. He had to go and do it anyway didn't he? Being the dimwit that he is.

I'm not happy, not one bit. I'm devastated, angry, concerned for his well being and generally annoyed to a great extent. I've just viewed his recent reply that says I should suck up and get on with the kit, despite other members of the team showing their discomfort with the kit as well. This just angers my frustration even more. I'm definitely thinking of resigning and am thinking of leaving the club, to a team that has standards as a gay kit is below me. Highveld, Vatican and Dublin will all be a great move for me as I am not enjoying my time here, any way you look at it. If any team would like to try and transfer me after the member draft then please post in this thread as I am looking for a quick move. The quicker the better. I don't want to stay in this pig sty for a moment longer. I would say thankyou for having me here, but they should be thanking me. A terrible, feminine, unreal club."

James Edmonds then walked out of the press room, slamming the door behind him as his emotions seem to come to the surface the more he got on with the press release. Manchester Divided had much to thank Edmonds for last season as he was one of the best batsmen in the team and was a very active player that was indispensable to the team. However, it seems that is not all fair in love and war. Will Edmonds leave, which he so evidently wants to? Or will he not be allowed to by owners Chez and Zoraxis? This is not what Manchester Divided need on their search for their second consecutive title.

 

[Cricketman]

When I first read the title I thought it said 'Gay kit is blowing me'.

 

[Highlander999]

Meh, attention seeking. Only the best can truly pull it off

 

[MattW]

Former club owner backs 'Meh' stance
Whitehornmatt, former owner of the club formerly known as Manchester Monkeys (currently known as Manchester Divided) has begun proceedings to formally back the response of the foremost leader in attention seeking, with the lodging of an agreement to state his intentions of responding formally with the word 'Meh'.

Conditional on strict PCPL rules, there may or may not be an official 'Meh' stance made, but the documents that Reuters gained through a freedom of information request suggests that this process is well on its way.

A 'Meh' reaction could be devastating to self-proclaimed 'star batsman' James Edmonds, who is looking to make a break from the club he captains over a shirt dispute that some in the media have claimed could 'have a minor impact' on this year's PCPL competition.

Leaked documents supporting the 'Meh' reaction have shown comments from whitehornmatt including the following:

I hate the look of the shirt too, not enough black; but I think we can all agree we don't want to see Edmonds take it off. That could get awkward quickly.

Whitehornmatt lead the Manchester side to the inaugural PCPL victory, a move some call 'a good decision', and is heavily invested in the side this year despite handing over the reigns to a new generation. He said the following in a short interview tomorrow:

I can't comment publicly on the kit at the moment, but in 6-8 weeks when the forms are processed I should be able to say something.

I can say I fully support about half of Zorax and Chez's decisions, the other half were rubbish, but there were some good ones. I'd name them, but, come to think of it, I was a bit harsh to suggest they made good decisions and I apologise.

When asked if Monkey Park was going to change colours in support of the new look kit, whitehornmatt responded with an unequivocal "I'll look into it."

 

[Kshitiz_Indian]

I know this is all going to end as a happy ending, But just in case it doesn't, you're happy to arrive at Vatican James.

 

[Kiko_97]

Former captain and should be captain again says Edmonds!!!! Stop whining or **** off!
Nuff said

 

[ZoraxDoom]

Zorax hits back!
Jaz is below Man D, if he won't wear the kit he can **** off.

Legendary Downright Donkeys allrounder, and Manchester Divided owner/manager Zorax Doom has hit back at the comments made by his side's soon to be skipper Jaztheman regarding the team's new kit.

"Jaz is an idiot, and if he doesn't shut his mouth soon and apologise, he will soon find out who the boss around here is."

This announcement came mere hours after Jaz made a press release outline his dislike for the 'gay' kit, where he also expressed his desire to leave this 'terrible, feminine, unreal club' if forced to wear it.

"He will do as he is told, and wear what we tell him too. We are the ones that sign his cheques, we are the ones that pay his bills. He plays for us and not for himself. Most sides would have disposed of a troublemaker like him by now, but we are giving him another chance. Apologise, and we will let you stay."

However, Zorax got a little more personal in an after-press release interview, claiming that "If that little ******* doesn't want to wear the kit, that he can bloody well **** off."

"I am honestly surprise he doesn't like this kit, I figured a sleezy Man-**** like himself would appreciate it."

"He's always late to practice every morning due to his 'affairs', and ends up breaking down in tears in half of them because the girl left him for someone who doesn't flaunt his body like some cheap little tramp from Street 57."

"If he won't be a team man and wear the kit, then fine. He can go **** himself. We don't need brats like him to win the cup, we'll be better off without him."

"The kit isn't below Jaz - Jaz is below Man D."

-Reuters​

 

[Dr. Pepper]

HH owner shocked by Edmonds​

Highveld Hitters owner Dr. Pepper has announced that he was shocked by James Edmonds' attitude towards his kit. He said this "You wear your kit with pride, with passion. You represent the team with your 100% positive attitude. What the hell is James on about? Who the hell does he think he is?

He's a professional cricketer, albeit a crap one, so he better change his attitude if he wants to get anywhere in cricket. He's just moaning and whinging like a 6 year old, it's pathetic, it really is.

It's attention seeking if anything. Take players like Treva and me. The two best in the world but are we too big for our boots? No. Do we have ego attacks? No. We're model professionals and that's how James should act.

That's not exactly a good captain and I feel sorry for Man D and Zorax. I have a good relationship between Zorax and the Manchester team. If their captain has that kind of attitude, there'll be serious problems in the dressing room. He's a bad egg if you ask me and he should go before he gets to the other players."

 

[mattfb]

James, face the fact, a lot of gay things are below you.

 

[Dr. Pepper]

Haha! Burnnnnnnnn .

Matt get on msn again.

But yeah, stop whining.

 

[Jaztheman]

Saga Continues

Today, in the Texas Holdem room in Planetcricket, an argument broke out. Manchester Divided captain Jatheman had a confrontation with ZoraxDoom, who intimidated his captain. ZoraxDoom is the Co-Owner of Manchester Divided with The Spin but there have been a few arguments in past weeks. The unraveling of the new kit, declared 'gay' by Jaztheman, sparked the bad spirit in which has been carried on in every aspect of the Internet, including Planetcricket and MSN.

"I don't want to stay here a second longer. The team has treated myself terribly and despite my outbreak and that of a few other team members, they have proceeded to keep the kit and not change it. They have been stubborn and have shown no consideration for their players who they apparently 'love' thanks to their success last season. We had a brilliant season last year and they are throwing it away by disgruntling the team.

The opening post of the Manchester Divided thread stupidly says I'm going to be listed, but I can go one better than that. I transfer list myself. Yes, that's what I've done. There are teams already interested and I'd rather be at any of those than instead of being at the abomination that is MD. They are losing their star batsman and are ruining their season with every second they don't apologize."

"There is no I in Manchester, but if you re-arrange the letters you get ME. This is a stand from the little guy."​

 

[Dr. Pepper]

I hate your attitude, you'd be perfect for HH .

 

[Cricketman]

Chennai Captain Likes To Type in Big Bold Letters

Chennai Captain Cricketman agrees with (former?) Manchester Divided skipper Jaztheman on his views on the kit. "It really is quite gay looking," he stated, but continued on to say "It totally fits the theme of the team. What isn't gay over in the ManD camp?"

"Jaztheman is free to join CC if he pleases. We have a fantastic kit , and are likely to be victors this season".
​

 

[ZoraxDoom]

"You want to leave? Fine, go ahead!"
Zorax officially opens bidding on Jaztheman's services!

And enraged Zorax Doom barged out of the Man D headquarters to hold an impromptu press release, mere moments after controversial batsman Jaztheman decided to put himself up for transfer. The Legendary Downright Donkey's allrounder and Manchester Divided co-owner kept the conference short and brief -

"He wants to leave the club? Then fine. Good riddance! But I have to remind him, once again, that it is I who is in authority, NOT him. That is clearly a concept he has trouble grasping. He is NOT the one in power, and cannot decide if he can leave the club. This is MY team. I make that decision.

And I say, bidding is now open! Let the offers flow in!"

Zorax left with a last parting shot at Jaz:
"We'll start at a fair price for this Male Prostitute, 10 vCash. I am lead to believe this is how much he charges per hour. A bit overpriced if you ask me."

"Sale, trade, or pick him up in the draft, do whatever it takes to get this Jerk off our hands. Man D will be far better without him'​

-Reuters​

 

[barmyarmy]

Just a reminder that the transfer window will not be re-opened until after the player draft and please be careful with your use of language as not to cause offence. I'm not at all keen on the use of the word "gay" as a derogatory term.