Sardar Jokes

[borncricketer]

Hey Here are some jokes and i dont mean to be offensive to anybody.

Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnge?
Sardar: Oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
berth..
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite,
nobody will b there............. Girl goes at night &
really nobodywas there .... ????

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them
TIRED & RETIRED!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to
jail".

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out,
climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Sardar:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
his college.
you know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question
paper was leaking from...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult
question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

 

[ZoraxDoom]

The first few are good.....

 

[littlegenius90]

ROFL :rtfl :rtfl :rtfl
that was so funny....

 

[borncricketer]

i have some more:

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20
Rs back.!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U
This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u
could have posted it....

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar proposed to a Girl
Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'.
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you
NEXT YEAR.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4
Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my
grandpa
who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin
like all the passengers in
the car he was driving..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't
read very fast.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a
graveyard in
punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still digging for more..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not
AM''.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Sardar goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last
words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON THE OXYGEN TUBE!"

 

[littlegenius90]

OMG :laugh :laugh :laugh
that was one of the best laugh I ever had...
awesome bro...

 

[bharat]

LOL.....LOL..
Those were really funny.

I've got some
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all
around his living room.

Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"

Santa: "Hidden cameras!"

Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"

Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes
he keeps saying, 'You are watching the Star World channel'.

How does he know that?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Singhs (pilots) try to land an airplane in the United States.
They start descending and as they touch the ground the pilot screamed "The
runway is ending!".

The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air.
They make a big turn and start descending again.
The moment they touch the ground, the pilot screams again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending!"
The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air.
They make a big turn and start descending again.

This goes on again and again.
During their fourth descent the pilot says:
"Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge, expensive airport
but with such a short runaway",
"I know" answers the second pilot,
"But look how wide they made it."

 

[ZoraxDoom]

Pretty good.....

 

[gold639]

They are awesome

I have already heard a few of them though.

 

[ZoraxDoom]

How about Blondes? Or Rednecks?

 

[borncricketer]

lolzz thay are very funny bharat

 

[littlegenius90]

here is my collection...

Job Interview
While taking the interview...
The Employer: 'How long did you work during your last job.'
Sardarji: '30 years.'
The Employer: 'What's your age?
Sardarji: '20 Years.'
The Employer(with surprise): How it is possible that you are 20 and have a experience of 30 years.
Sardarji: 'Overtime.'


-----------------------------------------------------------


What a pain
Sardarji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."
The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow."
Sardarji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doc, surprised,says "touch your head."
Sardarji touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where Sardarji touches it hurts like hell.
The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc... and tells Sardarji to come back after two days.
Two days later Sardarji comes back and the doctor says, "We've found your problem..."
"Oh yeah? what is it ?"
'You've broken your finger!'


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Nice Ride
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they would like to die.
Santa said, 'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I don't want to die screaming like some of his friends, who also died at the same time.'
Banta asked, 'How did his friends die screaming while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?'
Santa Singh replied, 'His friends were the passengers in the car he was driving.'


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Marriage Proposal
One day a girl proposed to a sardar and sardar denied simply saying that in our family
WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!


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Greatest Movie
A Sardar decides to do something on his day off during his busy scedual so he goes to the video
store to rent a movie. To his disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen. He is
really furious and calls the store to complain stating, "I just rented a movie from your shore
and there's nothing on the tape, but static."The clerk apologized about the defective video and
asked, "Which title did you rent?"The Surd replied, "It's called 'Head Cleaner.


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This one is the best (my favourite)
Master's Orders
sardarji#1 : went to kashmir officially and called to his house over phone.
sardarji#2 : had taken the receiver.
sardarji#1 : Who is speaking?
sardarji#2 : Servant Sir.
sardarji#1 : Where is the Madam?
sardarji#2 : She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
sardarji#1 : What? I am her husband came to kashmir today.
sardarji#2 : What can I do now sir?
sardarji#1 : Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, come back and tell me, Till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
sardarji#2 : Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?
sardarji#1 : Open the back door, throw both of them into the well
sardarji#2 : I can open the back door, but how can i throw both of them from this third floor into the well in the ground floor Sir?
sardarji#1 : What...? Are you in the third floor?
sardarji#2 : Yes Sir
sardarji#1 : Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!

no offence to Sardarji
and if u still feel offended somehow then sorry
try replacing Sardarji with blonde or redneck or yourself j/k

 

[ZoraxDoom]

The Last one is HILARIOUS :rtfl

 

[borncricketer]

lolzz they are very funny.. have heard the 3rd and 4th but the last one was the best

 

[Aseem Ralhan]

Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door. After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm
confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid." Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?" So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door. The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window


After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamil Nadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of ice-cream to which Santa
readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa Singh called the TTE and asked him to help. TTE requested that he could not understand Hindi/ Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving berth to my child."


Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back."


Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and dissappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."


Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, I read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

 

[ravigoteti]

funny ones indeed. thanks for sharing.