Sardar Jokes

[Aseem Ralhan]

Sardar Commits suicide -

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks

and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops

him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" (Why

do you take these things with you?).

Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na

marjaun" (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)
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Sardars play chess-

Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games

of chess to pass the time.

They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends

dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles

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Son of Sardar in School-

Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could
only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because
I am Sardar?"

"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his
father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other
kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Sardar ??"

"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad,
today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me,
I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"

The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
_________________________________________________________________

Sardar Gambles-

Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very

depressed.

"What happened ?" asked Surjit.

"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?"

"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England

was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win,

but I lost the bet."

" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I

bet on the highlights too "

 

[ravigoteti]

seen them before but hilarious nonetheless
thanks for sharing

 

[borncricketer]

same here - Heard them before but they never get old do they?

 

[indiancricketer]

lolz great jokes people lol

 

[Aseem Ralhan]

>Smart Sardar................. > > > >
Once a cruise ship carrying people from all the
>nations was going on
> >a 'around the world' tour when it got grounded.
> >The ship became slow
> >and finally came to a grinding halt.Captain of
> >the ship called an
> >emergency meeting and told the passengers,
> >" Friends, we are in trouble because of God's
> >being angry with us. We
> >need to give sacrifice and I need three people to
> >sacrifice their
> >life so that rest of us can be saved."
> > > >All of them moved towards the Deck where a
> >japnese came forward and
> >shouted "Long live japan" and jumped into the
>sea.
> > > >Then a Israeli jew stepped forward said
>"Hellulaja" and dived into
> >the sea.
> > > >After that no one came forward for few seconds
> >while people stared at
> >each other and suddenly out of nowhere a Sardarji
> >came forward near
> >the railing and chanted, " Jo bole-so-nihal, sat
> >sri akaal, wahe
> >guruji da khalsa, wahe
> >guruji di fateh, Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai
> >Hanuman, jai Sri
> >Ram, Jai siva-sankar, Jai baba nanak di, Jai
> >jawan jai kissan
> >".................... and finally yelled at the
> >top of his voice,
> >"Bharat mata ki jai",
> >And Kicked the pakistani standing next to him in
> >the sea. > > > > > > > > > > > >
_________________________________________________________________


> > > > > >- Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese
> >Delegation for Business
> >Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was
> >quite impressed with
> >Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent
> >state. Give us three
> >years and we
> >will turn it into an economic superpower like
> >Japan." Laloo was very
> >surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he
> >stated. "Give me
> >three days and I will turn Japan into thenext
> >Bihar!"
_________________________________________________________________

Two horses
Santa and Banta had just bought two horses.Now the problem was that they could not differenciate between the two horses.So,one day Santa cuts the left ear of his horse, so that it is easy to know that it is his horse.While doing so,an enemy of Santa looks at him.This enemy also cuts the left ear of banta.By doing so santa and banta come in confusion to differenciate. So, next thing santa keeps on cutting his horse's right ear , then his tail , then makes him blind and so on .And the enemy also kept on doing so with banta's horse.At last Santa's horse had no legs left and banta's horse was with one leg only .The enemy also went and cut banta's horse one leg. So, in the morning it was the same sitaution , How to diffrenciate thier horses.So, after thinking and putting lots of effort to thier mind - Santa said - O.K You keep the black one and i will keep the white .

 

[ZoraxDoom]

Love the first one
Especially being an Indian and all......this is a classic.....

 

[borncricketer]

love them alll....excelllent jokes

 

[Ste]

> >the railing and chanted, " Jo bole-so-nihal, sat
> >sri akaal, wahe
> >guruji da khalsa, wahe
> >guruji di fateh, Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai
> >Hanuman, jai Sri
> >Ram, Jai siva-sankar, Jai baba nanak di, Jai
> >jawan jai kissan
> >".................... and finally yelled at the
> >top of his voice,
> >"Bharat mata ki jai",
>

What did he say? I understood the rest of the joke but am lost on the punch line! can anyone help?

 

[ZoraxDoom]

'Bharat mata ki jai'
Bharat=India
mata=Mother
Basically it is 'Long live India'.

"Jo bole-so-nihal, sat
sri akaal, wahe
guruji da khalsa, wahe
guruji di fateh...'
Wasn't sure of this....

'Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai
Hanuman, jai Sri
Ram, Jai siva-sankar, Jai baba nanak di, Jai
jawan jai kissan
.......'
Different names of Gods, the 'jai' basically praising and you already know what 'mata' means.

 

[Aseem Ralhan]

Sardar and the barber

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy

so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees

to wake him up when the station arrived.

This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees ,

the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell

asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he

went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and

suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.

Said his wife " What's the matter?"

Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and

woken up someone else"
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Sardar's Misadventure
> >There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business. >They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally >decided >to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and >built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first >customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story >was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up. >WHY ? -B'cos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed." >After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto >garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon >started >the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive >but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week >but no car came to their garage. >WHY ? - B'cos their garage was on the first floor. > >After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi >driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began >to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed >their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. >They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed >their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but >alas no one hailed their taxi. >WHY ? - B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi. > >All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided >to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing >their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the >taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and >start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi >just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt >budge. >WHY ? B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind. > > > >
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Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass)
_________________________________________________________________

Interview of a Sardar

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there

on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the

interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his

certificates and then starts asking him questions.



Following is the transcript :



O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials

I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can

answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some

opposites



S : Yes Sir.



Officer started asking questions



O : Above

S : Below

O : Front

S : Back

O : Left

S : Right

O : Male

S : Female

O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)

S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)

O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)

S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)

O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)

S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y......

Our sardar also shouts)



#Officer is now angry.

O : Get out

S : Come in.

O : Quiet please.

S : Talk please.

O : You are rejected.

S : I am selected ........ ....... and This is how Santa Singh got

his job.

 

[borncricketer]

lolzzz....love the last one

 

[ZoraxDoom]

Hehehe....I have read this one before, but it is still funny....

 

[Will p]

LOL guys awesome jokes

 

[fanirama]

Lol !! HAHAHAHAHAHA !

This are some of the best jokes I've heard

 

[borncricketer]

lolzzz very fuunnnnyy mate.......best jokes i have heard too