The Jokes Thread

[Themer]

How about some of those good old generic jokes?

Or what about borderline sexist ones?

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" quickly became a feminist anthem for women. Probably because it's really upbeat and fun to do the hoovering to.

 

[Papa_Smurf]

Hate myself for this, but it is a really catchy song.

 

[Addy]

some of funniest quotes after pak v nzl mach,
these quotes are hilarious

• Kamran Akmal is such a bad wicket keeper, he can't even catch a flu. Not even if he stood naked in sub zero temperatures in Siberia!
  
  
• In pin drop silence, guess who drops the pin? Kamran Akmal!
  
  
• Kamran Akmal is every robber's dream, because he will never be able to catch them.
  
  
• Maybe Kamran Akmal would have been a better wicket keeper if his hands were as big as his teeth.
  
  
• Why is Umar Akmal the best batsman in the Akmal family? Because he got the most chance to bat in the back yard as Kamran Akmal kept dropping him.
  
  
• Its time to drop Kamran Akmal, just so he knows how the ball feels.
  
  
• Why do parents trust their daughters with Kamran Akmal? Because they know he will always drop them home.
  
  
• Ever wondered how the third best wicket keeper in the Akmal family is the first choice wicket keeper in the country?
  
  
• What is the one thing that Kamran Akmal is really good at? Clapping! Because he's always eager to put his hands together before the ball reaches him.

 

[pcfan123]

Or what about borderline sexist ones?

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" quickly became a feminist anthem for women. Probably because it's really upbeat and fun to do the hoovering to.

some golden oldies from Rodney Dangerfield
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

 

[Themer]

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.

 

[Varun]

Just like behind every successful man, is a woman, behind every successful batsman, there is actually Kamran Akmal.

 

[AbhishekS]

Just like behind every successful man, is a woman, behind every successful batsman, there is actually Kamran Akmal.

This made my day.

 

[Bevab]

Just like behind every successful man, is a woman, behind every successful batsman, there is actually Kamran Akmal.

A perfect quote. Also is Umar better than Kamran at keeping? Maybe not but he can atleast grab the balls that come to him, something Kamran cannot do.

 

[ZoraxDoom]

What do a lesbian and Kamran Akmal have in common?

They both seem repulsed by balls.

 

[blazerix]

What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in France?

La Whore



meant no offense to anyone

 

[Papa_Smurf]

^ I don't get it :S

 

[Chewie]

^ I don't get it :S

Lahore

 

[AbhishekS]

Justin Bieber gets his own wax replica at Madame Tussauds. It's so realistic that it can't sing either.

 

[blazerix]

Two Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the
Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll go up and get a coke. "
"No problem," said the Israeli. "I'll get it for you. " While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli's shoe and spit in it. When the
Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good.
I think I'll have one too. "
Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it. The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.
As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoe s and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on? " he asked. "This enmity between our peoples. this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?
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Q: Are you a member of any organized political party?

A: No, I'm a republican
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An American-Indian walks into a saloon with a shotgun in one hand and a 10-litre bucket of manure in the other. The Indian says to the bartender, "Me want Lager! "The bartender says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up. " He then serves the Indian atall glass of Tennents Lager. The Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket, throws the manure into the air and blasts it with the shotgun. He then walks out. Five days later, the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and another bucket of manure in the other. He struts up to the bar and tells the bartender, "Me want beer! "The bartender says, "Whoa there Chief, we're still cleaning up from the last time you were here... What was that allabout, anyway? " he asked. The Indian explained, "Me training for job as government employee. Drink beer, shoot the ████, disappear for a few days, thencome back and see if somebody else has cleaned up the mess me left behind. "
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Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry,but I'm going to have to let one of you go. "Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority. "Female Employee: "And I'm a woman. "Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin. "... To which they all turn to look at the helpless young,white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds:"I think I might be gay... "
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Q. what did the sign on the whore house say?


A: Beat it we are closed

 

[Meet]

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.