I once saw a fold-up pushchair with the safety warning: "Warning - Remove child before folding."
Some more I recieved in a chain mail:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's
the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not
turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot
after heating." (...and you thought????..)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???.....)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
