S
squiz
Guest
that cricket explained to foreigners made no sense at all 
N
nikhilverma
Guest
it made sense but not that much..
It is just that cricket can't be explained to a foreigner suppose you don't know about cricket and someone says these words to you, will you not be confused
:
It is just that cricket can't be explained to a foreigner suppose you don't know about cricket and someone says these words to you, will you not be confused
:
E
electioneering
Guest
A man is just finished golfing in the country club with the rest of the rich clubbers. He is in the locker room, dressing back to his normal clothes when he hears a cell phone ring. He answers it.
Phone-Hello honey!
Man-Hi.
Woman-Honey I just saw this marvelous dress for $2000 and I bought it. Is that okay?
Man-Yeah, sure.
Woman-I also saw a lovely lamborghini at the dealer and bought it for $50,000. You okay with that honey?
Man-Of course.
Woman-Oh and you know that amazing mansion by the beach that cost $2,000,000? Well I purchased it just now. Are you okay with that?
Man-Anything for you honey.
The woman hangs up the phone and all the guys start approaching the man awestrucken.
Man-Hey anyone know whos cell phone this is?
Phone-Hello honey!
Man-Hi.
Woman-Honey I just saw this marvelous dress for $2000 and I bought it. Is that okay?
Man-Yeah, sure.
Woman-I also saw a lovely lamborghini at the dealer and bought it for $50,000. You okay with that honey?
Man-Of course.
Woman-Oh and you know that amazing mansion by the beach that cost $2,000,000? Well I purchased it just now. Are you okay with that?
Man-Anything for you honey.
The woman hangs up the phone and all the guys start approaching the man awestrucken.
Man-Hey anyone know whos cell phone this is?
E
electioneering
Guest
Proud Fathers
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee
and
the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so
successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to
him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a
multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his
friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a
stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire
portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking
care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our
sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay
bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally
thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last
three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock
portfolio."
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee
and
the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so
successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to
him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a
multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his
friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a
stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire
portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking
care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our
sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay
bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally
thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last
three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock
portfolio."
T
temp
Guest
: Lol. Hehehe : : Nice one there.
N
nikhilverma
Guest
: : ha ha : : nice keep it up
: : ha ha : :
I
imported_fuser
Guest
I
imported_fuser
Guest
:devilish: WELL ALL I'VE GOT 2 SAY IS BEWARE. THIS IS THE DISCOVERY OF A NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT.
A new element called woman
A new element has to be added in the Periodic Table, which is recommended by
scientists
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam Edenwarden
Aomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 35 - 200 kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with thin painted film
2. Boils at room Temperature
3. Freezes without any known reason
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Bitter if incorrectly used
6. Sweeter under certain conditions
7. Found in various states, ranging from metals to common ore
8. Ductile if moulded properly
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and
absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in
alcohol
4. Most powerful money non-reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in bikes and cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
AVAILABLITY:
1. Available in wide different forms and varieties
2. Can be easily seen in all busy areas
POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one,although several can be
maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not
come into direct contact with each other!!!
WARNING !!! PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGE AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS.
sorry for all those women who feel bad :devilish:
A new element called woman
A new element has to be added in the Periodic Table, which is recommended by
scientists
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam Edenwarden
Aomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 35 - 200 kg.
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with thin painted film
2. Boils at room Temperature
3. Freezes without any known reason
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Bitter if incorrectly used
6. Sweeter under certain conditions
7. Found in various states, ranging from metals to common ore
8. Ductile if moulded properly
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and
absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in
alcohol
4. Most powerful money non-reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in bikes and cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
AVAILABLITY:
1. Available in wide different forms and varieties
2. Can be easily seen in all busy areas
POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one,although several can be
maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not
come into direct contact with each other!!!
WARNING !!! PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGE AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS.
sorry for all those women who feel bad :devilish:
E
electioneering
Guest
It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she look one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in - everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she look one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in - everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.
E
electioneering
Guest
Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends
late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big
brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied.
A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup" replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.
"Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound
and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another
for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed
"For god sake, you a**hole....it's ten past three in the morning!"
late one night the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big
brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied.
A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup" replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it.
"Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound
and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another
for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed
"For god sake, you a**hole....it's ten past three in the morning!"
E
electioneering
Guest
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that mooo! thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that mooo! thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
E
electioneering
Guest
This is my 150th post.I hope ppl dont find my jokes offending..
R
ricky123
Guest
B) where r u from pat
E
electioneering
Guest
Mumbai,India
R
ricky123
Guest
B) cool i was born and brought up in mumbai .but now i live in dubai.
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