banana man
Club Cricketer
lol reps for you born cricketer
Sardar Jokes
- Thread starter borncricketer
- Start date
harishankar
Panel of Selectors
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2006
- Location
- India
- Profile Flag
- India
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - PS3
A sardarji saw a cigarette packet where it was written: "Cigarette smoking is injurious to health" He then pops one in and lights it up and says, "Poor guy, this Health. Hope he doesn't smoke."
^ ^ ^ The above is an original joke I thought of just now.
^ ^ ^ The above is an original joke I thought of just now.
Sachin_007
Club Cricketer
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!!!!
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted
area.
The Judge askd him if he had anything to say in his
defence. "They
should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta.
"It said, FINE
FOR PARKING HERE"
Santa: What is another difference between a
mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot
mosquito.
Banta: When did George Washington die?
Santa: two days before his funeral.
Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can
think of........
Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of
their parents
achievements to each other.
Santa Singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez
Canal?
Banta Singh : Yes I have.
Santa Singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta Singh : That's nothing, have you ever
heard
of Dead Sea?
Santa Singh : Yes I have.
Banta Singh : Well, my father killed it.
Wait Please!
Once Banta was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the securityguard told Banta, "WAIT PLEASE"
Banta replied, "65Kgs" and moved down.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!!!!
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted
area.
The Judge askd him if he had anything to say in his
defence. "They
should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta.
"It said, FINE
FOR PARKING HERE"
Santa: What is another difference between a
mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot
mosquito.
Banta: When did George Washington die?
Santa: two days before his funeral.
Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can
think of........
Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of
their parents
achievements to each other.
Santa Singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez
Canal?
Banta Singh : Yes I have.
Santa Singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta Singh : That's nothing, have you ever
heard
of Dead Sea?
Santa Singh : Yes I have.
Banta Singh : Well, my father killed it.
Wait Please!
Once Banta was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the securityguard told Banta, "WAIT PLEASE"
Banta replied, "65Kgs" and moved down.
harishankar
Panel of Selectors
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2006
- Location
- India
- Profile Flag
- India
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - PS3
The doctor prescribed the Sardarji some tablets and he bought them from the pharmacy. However before he swallowed them he always took a small knife and scraped off both sides of the tablet. When his friend asked why he did this, he replied "Because I don't want the side effects!"
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
*****************
Santa Singh is Flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him is Gary Kasparov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the nuances of the game etc. Gary says ... "How would You like to Play me for $ 500?
Santa: "But you're too damn good".
Gary: "I'll play left handed".
Santa can't resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, checkmates our Sardar in 8 moves .......
Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov.
Banta: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa". (You're an absolute fool Santa) Santa: "kyon" (why)?
Banta: "Abe ........ Gary Kasparov lefty hai". (Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed).
*****************
Santa Singh is Flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him is Gary Kasparov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the nuances of the game etc. Gary says ... "How would You like to Play me for $ 500?
Santa: "But you're too damn good".
Gary: "I'll play left handed".
Santa can't resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, checkmates our Sardar in 8 moves .......
Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov.
Banta: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa". (You're an absolute fool Santa) Santa: "kyon" (why)?
Banta: "Abe ........ Gary Kasparov lefty hai". (Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed).
Sachin_007
Club Cricketer
newzolt said:
LMAO...nice one...lol...reps 4 u...
Race to the Sun:
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.
One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."
"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."
And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."
Sachin_007
Club Cricketer
Sardar Santa Singh is the english teacher in a school. He is very well known as all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decides to visit the english class. This is what the inspector sees in the classroom :
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA"
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA"
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAIN"
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAIN"
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PWECHHE MAIN AUR MERE PEECHHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE MAIN AUR MERE PEECHHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching the students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH .
The principle too is shocked , Santa Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh.
Principal : " Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE MAIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Santa Singh : " Yes I was saying all this in class, but I was only teaching the students the spellings of ASSASSINATION. "
ASS ASS I Nation....
80,000 sardars meet at the Punjab capital for a"Sardars Are Not Stupid Convention?. Banta Singh, the president of wise sardar & CO. says, ?We are all here today to prove to the world that sardars are not stupid. Can I have a vo###teer?" One sardar (Santa Singh) steps up. Banta asks him,"What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen." Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance, give him another chance." Banta says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance.? So he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"After nearly 30 seconds, santa eventually says, "Ninety?" Banta sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the sardars starts crying "Give him another chance, give him another chance.? Banta, unsure whether he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" Santa closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four.? Around the stadium 80,000 sardars start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. " Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way...
Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?'
Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gary. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!' Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decides to visit the english class. This is what the inspector sees in the classroom :
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA"
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA"
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAIN"
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAIN"
Santa Singh : "Bolo bachchon GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PWECHHE MAIN AUR MERE PEECHHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE MAIN AUR MERE PEECHHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching the students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH .
The principle too is shocked , Santa Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh.
Principal : " Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHHE MAIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Santa Singh : " Yes I was saying all this in class, but I was only teaching the students the spellings of ASSASSINATION. "
ASS ASS I Nation....
80,000 sardars meet at the Punjab capital for a"Sardars Are Not Stupid Convention?. Banta Singh, the president of wise sardar & CO. says, ?We are all here today to prove to the world that sardars are not stupid. Can I have a vo###teer?" One sardar (Santa Singh) steps up. Banta asks him,"What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen." Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance, give him another chance." Banta says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance.? So he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"After nearly 30 seconds, santa eventually says, "Ninety?" Banta sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the sardars starts crying "Give him another chance, give him another chance.? Banta, unsure whether he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" Santa closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four.? Around the stadium 80,000 sardars start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. " Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this
because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."
One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way...
Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?'
Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gary. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!' Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
BEPPO SINGH WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9 Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
kamrandahir
County Cricketer
nice jokes newzolt
reps for u
reps for u
banana man
Club Cricketer
funny jokes.
Sachin_007
Club Cricketer
Once Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired with the mobile communication and decided to use the conventional method of communication. That is to use pigeons to send messages.
One day Santa sends his pigeon. When the pigeon reaches to Banta it is without the message. Banta picked his mobile and asked Santa what is this joke? The pigeon is without the message.
Then Santa said "khote! This was a missed call"
A Sardar went 2 hotel,ordered chicken.
Waiter comes with the order.
SURD:Murge di taang kithe hai?
Waiter:Woh langra tha.
SURD
il?
Waiteril murgi le gayee.SURDimaag?
Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!
Santa checks in at Hotel with wife.
Santa:Mujhe top flor me room dena
Manager:Sir,Room 17,17th floor
Santa:Room ki khidki check ker lena.Khulti hai ya nahi.
Manager:Sir,aisa kya ho gaya?
Santa:Pichle saal main hotel mein tha,meri biwi mere se lad ker kood ker jaan dena chahti thi, lekin khidki khuli nahi.
Doctor to Sardaar: Appka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga;
25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai..!
Santa receives a call.
"Sir, you can win out top prize of million dollars instantly if you asnwer with a NO to my first question. Are you ready?
Santa: YES, YES!
Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night.
"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack.
"So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"
One day Santa sends his pigeon. When the pigeon reaches to Banta it is without the message. Banta picked his mobile and asked Santa what is this joke? The pigeon is without the message.
Then Santa said "khote! This was a missed call"
A Sardar went 2 hotel,ordered chicken.
Waiter comes with the order.
SURD:Murge di taang kithe hai?
Waiter:Woh langra tha.
SURD
il?Waiter
il murgi le gayee.SURDimaag?Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!
Santa checks in at Hotel with wife.
Santa:Mujhe top flor me room dena
Manager:Sir,Room 17,17th floor
Santa:Room ki khidki check ker lena.Khulti hai ya nahi.
Manager:Sir,aisa kya ho gaya?
Santa:Pichle saal main hotel mein tha,meri biwi mere se lad ker kood ker jaan dena chahti thi, lekin khidki khuli nahi.
Doctor to Sardaar: Appka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga;
25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai..!
Santa receives a call.
"Sir, you can win out top prize of million dollars instantly if you asnwer with a NO to my first question. Are you ready?
Santa: YES, YES!
Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before.
"What do I do if she's ugly?" says Santa, "I'll be stuck with her all night.
"Don't worry," Banta says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't just shout 'Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!' and fake an asthma attack.
"So that night, Santa knocks at the girl's door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ..."Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!"
Abhas
Retired Administrator
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2004
- Location
- New Delhi, India
:rtfl
lol...incredible...
lol...incredible...
Sachin_007
Club Cricketer
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
* * * * * *
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
* * * * * *
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at
you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
* * * * * *
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
* * * * * *
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
* * * * * *
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
* * * * * *
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
* * * * * *
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget
the recipe.
* * * * * *
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
* * * * * *
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
* * * * * *
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
* * * * * *
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
* * * * * *
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
* * * * * *
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
* * * * * *
Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
* * * * * *
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
* * * * * *
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
* * * * * *
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
* * * * * *
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
Because below 18 was not allowed.
* * * * * *
How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
* * * * * *
What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at
you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
* * * * * *
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
* * * * * *
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
* * * * * *
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
* * * * * *
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
* * * * * *
Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget
the recipe.
* * * * * *
How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
* * * * * *
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
* * * * * *
What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
* * * * * *
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
* * * * * *
Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
* * * * * *
How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
* * * * * *
Why can't Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
* * * * * *
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
* * * * * *
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
* * * * * *
What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
* * * * * *
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
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