Sardar Jokes

[blackleopard92]

This one is a fresh one:

Once a Sadarji came home with his left forehead bleeding his wife asked him what had happened.

He replied "there was a nail in the window of the bus that pricked me each time the bus jerked", his wife said "then y didn?t u exchanged your seat with some other passengers, that did not know about the nail!

Sadarji replied "How can I exchange my seat when there were no other passengers in the bus other than me".

 

[kamrandahir]

lol nice joke blackleopard92

 

[Sachin_007]

good jokes..leo





Sardar to his friend "I kiss my Wife everyday before leaving for Office,
what about you?"
Friend : Me too, after you leave.

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Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar
pahunch jaate hai.

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A Lady Go to Departmental Store There Was a Sardarji, She asked him, "Lipton D
Chah Hai Kya...??,"
Sardarji Replied : Mainu to Nahi hai Tenu hai to Lipat Jaa..!!


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Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked
what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!!
Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

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How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a
conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

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Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways.
He is thinking for a novel idea.
He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing,
he bought the ticket and didn't travel.

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM.
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r
wrong. Its 1258."


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What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

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Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he
has two swimming
pools, one of which is always empty?
It's for people who can't swim!

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Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!


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What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..


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Sardarji calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.


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Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl!
So girl shouted,
'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se maroon??!!!'

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A for apple.

B for bada apple.

C for chota apple.

D for dusra apple.

E for ek aur apple.

F for fokat ka apple.

G for gol apple.

H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple.

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Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki, Coffee Atte

Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu?

Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

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Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends.

I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my

kidney.

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Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!

Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!

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Safed Sari Par Tum Lal Bindi Lagati Ho,

Khuda Kasam Ambulance Nazar Aati Ho,

Vo Ghayal Ko Lekar Jati Hai,

Tum Ghayal Kar Jati Ho!!!

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What is the similarity between Mobile & Marriage?

Thode Din Aur Ruk Jata To Thoda Acha Model Mil Jaata!!

 

[kamrandahir]

nice apples joke

 

[Ritwik]

Very good jokes there Sachin. The kidney is one is especially good!

 

[Sachin_007]

Banta Singh walks into a bar in Ludhiana & orders three glasses of
Beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each
one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and
orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it
in the glass; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Dubai, the other in Canada, and I'm here in Ludhiana. When they
left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the
days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it
there. Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks
the sameway. He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other
regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for
the second round, the bartender says," I don't want to intrude on
your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great
loss."

Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then alight dawns in his
eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says, "Everyone's fine - both my
brothers are alive" .

"Only thing is ---- I just quit drinking"!!!!!!



The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.

'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Santa Singh.

'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely.

'Fine,' said Santa Singh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.'

'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly.

'That's it.'

'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.'

'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.'

 

[F4rrukh]

LOL heard them before though... : but they are still great.. and can you please change the colour for the first one it is a bit hard to read..

 

[duffarama]

LOL heard them before though... : but they are still great.. and can you please change the colour for the first one it is a bit hard to read..

Let him go Farrukh. If pink is his favourite colour, let him use it.

 

[Sachin_007]

Let him go Farrukh. If pink is his favourite colour, let him use it.

no, its not like that...i was tired of using same colors ova nd ova again..





Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him. "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the haryanavi. "My father was 182 cms tall."

Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach :
Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.
Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .

Rajsi complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years .' Mrs Rajsi intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven years !

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms.

 

[kamrandahir]

A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms.

lol nice joke Sachin

 

[Sachin_007]

Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the Ground floor & Kartar on the 25thfloor. One day when the elevator wasn't working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : 'How did you enjoy your dinner ? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry , I could not make it .'


The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh,'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'

Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?' Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'

Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What's your problem?
Sardarji : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Sardarji : What problem?

 

[kamrandahir]

sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"

Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "

 

[Sachin_007]

nice one..kamran


An American, a Frenchman and a Sardar were having dinner together with
their girlfriends.

The American said, 'Pass me the honey, my honey!'

While the French said, 'Pass me the sugar my sugar!'

Wanting to impress his girlfriend with his own beautiful language the
sardar said, 'Pass me the milk, cow!'


The Right Step

Two drunk, Santa and Banta, were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground.

?Is that *beep*, Banta?? Santa said.

?I don?t really know.? Responded Banta as he bent over, ?it smells like *beep*.?

Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. ?It feels like *beep*!?

Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. ?Sure tastes like *beep*, buddy! I think it?s definitely *beep*.?

?Hooooeee!? Responded Santa, ?Good thing we didn?t step in it!?
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Slow down

A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
?Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration.?
Banta replies, ?Not until you tell me what the heck I did wrong, Officer.?
The officer explain, ?You didn`t come to a complete stop at the stop sign a few blocks back.?
?Let me guess,? said Banta, ?all the wine shops are closed today!?
?Sir, I`m going to overlook that last comment. Now, if you would please show me your license and registration.?
Banta counters, ?Not until you tell me the difference between slowing down and coming to a complete stop.?
?Sir, step out of the car.?
As Banta reluctantly gets out of his car, the officer begins beating him over the head with his nightstick and exclaims, ?Now, sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop!?
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Care Full Driver

As Raj was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife?s voice urgently warning him, ?Buta-jee, I just heard on the news that there?s a car going the wrong way on the motorway you are on.

Please be careful!? ?It?s not just one car,? said Buta Singh. ?It?s hundreds of them!?
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Blind Date

Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he?s never seen before.

?What do I do if she?s ugly?? says Santa, ?I?ll be stuck with her all night.

?Don?t worry,? Banta says, ?just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don?t just shout ?Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggghhh!? and fake an asthma attack.

?So that night, Santa knocks at the girl?s door and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. He?s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts: ?"Aaaaaaaaaaauuugguuughhh!?

 

[ZoraxDoom]

The Right Step

Two drunk, Santa and Banta, were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground.

?Is that *beep*, Banta?? Santa said.

?I don?t really know.? Responded Banta as he bent over, ?it smells like *beep*.?

Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. ?It feels like *beep*!?

Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. ?Sure tastes like *beep*, buddy! I think it?s definitely *beep*.?

?Hooooeee!? Responded Santa, ?Good thing we didn?t step in it!?

Was the *beeep* chocolate

 

[Sachin_007]

Was the *beeep* chocolate

Sure...nethin wid brown stuff..