The Jokes Thread

[Na Maloom Afraad]

If every country was represented by kids on a playground, what would they each be doing?

Spoiler: Pardon the racism…

USA - Fat kids shooting each other.
Sweden - Kids building Ikea furniture.
UK - Will leave the playground.
Mexico - Climbing the fence to get into the playground.
Germany - Would be building a gas operated, indestructible swing.
South Africa - Playing Rugby
Brazil - Playing Soccer
Argentina - Playing Soccer with a Messi jersey on
Portugal - Playing Soccer with a Ronaldo jersey on
Australia - Playing with a boomerang.
Malaysia - Lost his toy plane.
India & Pakistan - Would be fighting over a disputed land.
Poland - Poking Germany with stick and saying "kurwa stoopit nazi".

Canada - Watching the whole playground burn.

 

[zwarrior]

This is one of best suspense jokes.

A father put his 3year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?'

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this,
"God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy crap" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said,
"I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"

He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting.

 

[Deleted member 46200]

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb...? It doesn't matter the light bulb must really want to change!

 

[Neo 7]

There is a group in FB , "idiotically" called "HD Studioz"

Now , the fun part comes

Spoiler

They are selling

Spoiler

Cricket 07 Patches for 50-100 INR

HD StudioZ | Facebook

 

[Neo 7]

@Ali. Your thoughts on this ^

 

[Yash.]

Only Indians would understand...

Roses are read
Pokemon is Gotcha!
Watch your step beta,
I just did the potcha!

 

[zwarrior]

Only Indians would understand...

Roses are read
Pokemon is Gotcha!
Watch your step beta,
I just did the potcha!

??

 

[Neo 7]

Only Indians would understand...

Roses are read
Pokemon is Gotcha!
Watch your step beta,
I just did the potcha!

What ?? :/

 

[Deleted member 46200]

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder...?

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder...?

 

[Deleted member 46200]

Something didn't work...?

 

[Till Valhalla]

??

What ?? :/

Its Pocha.

 

[zwarrior]

Its Pocha.

No idea what it is ?

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

Something didn't work...?

My exact reaction to that silly, funny joke.

 

[Till Valhalla]

No idea what it is ?