The Jokes Thread

[ste_mc_efc]

Just been reminiscing about my first . When I was 17 I worked circumcising elephants in Chester Zoo. The hourly wage wasn't great but at least the tips were huge.

 

[Fenil]

Agneepath Effect:

Mother : Tell me my son what you want?













Son : Mandwa!!!

 

[Villain]

Removed.

 

[Fenil]

A boy; after breakup; meets his best friend:

Boy (Almost Crying) : I want her back!!

Friend: And what about her front?

 

[Fenil]

Whats common between Indian cricket team and Indian National driving license?



Both are pretty useless out of India.

 

[Fenil]

An advertisement was done and it was about a "Topless" Restaurant.

Reading this, hundreds of men went there and on reaching there they saw,






there was no roof on the restaurant!

 

[pcfan123]

whatever happened to truth in advertising

 

[Fenil]

Feb 7: Rose day________ 50 Rs
(RedRose)

Feb 8: Propose day_____ 200 Rs
(Card + Ice cream)

Feb 9: Chocolate day____350 Rs
(C'mon what will you gift cheaper than that?)

Feb 10: Teddy Day______500 Rs
(You won't get any cheaper one than this)

Feb 11: Promise Day______80 Rs
(Ice cream!)

Feb 12: Hug Day________150 Rs
(Going without Deo? Nah, right?)

Feb 13: Kiss Day_________75 Rs
(Spraymint of course)

Feb 14: Valentine Day___2000 Rs
(Won't get wooed in less than that)

Congratulations Singles!

You just saved on nearly 3500Rs!!

 

[ste_mc_efc]

Alcohol free beer. Like going down on your cousin it tastes the same but something just isn't quite right.

 

[Fenil]

Whenever Someone Hurts you, don't cry.

Remember it takes 49 muscles to cry and 12 muscles to smile






But Only 6 Muscles To Give A Slap


Save Energy! Aur de ghumake saaleko! (Give a tight one (slap obviously) to the fellow)

 

[pcfan123]

Why did the semen cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

----------

Alcohol free beer. Like going down on your cousin it tastes the same but something just isn't quite right.

wtf how did I miss this gem

 

[Themer]

Why did the semen cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning

I saw that one coming. Decent technique.

 

[Rohit Doshi]

You can't actually delete your Facebook profile, out of interest.

You can, an account not activated for 15 days is deleted permanently

 

[collingwood]

An ageing gentlemen and clearly a perky younger woman are looking at necklaces in the Jewellery shop on a Friday afternoon.

The salesman asks if any assistance is needed. The gentlemen confirms and asks for some of the more expensive items.

To the clear delight of the young woman, a $50,000 necklace is agreed upon by the gentleman.

The Salesman asks as to how payment would be made. The gentleman replies that he would pay by cheque now, and would collect the necklace after the bank had cleared the cheque on the following Monday.

On the Monday, the now irate salesman complains to the mature gentleman on the phone that the $50,000 cheque had NOT been honoured by the bank. The gentleman replied "I understand your disappointment at the bad cheque, but let me tell you about the raunchy weekend I've just had!"

 

[Fenil]

Facebook knew that 'The Wall ' was going to retire very soon,and thus the Timeline was adapted!